I need some advice...

El Chivato,

Your dad doesn't want to accept that his daughter is growing up. I see nothing reasonable in his forbidding you and Nick seeing each other. Guess what, if he hadn't made that move, you wouldn't have resorted to sneaking out. That's how it works.

You have a couple options. One, you try your very best to be mature about the situation and try to get through to your dad's skull by presenting him with mature argumentative statements. Two, like Hikaru's said before, just tell him to go fuck himself. BUT, I'd also take it further and say, TOTALLY let out your emotion and get PISSED THE FUCK OFF at him for treating you like a caged animal, and if you do, scare the shit out of him to get your point across. Sometimes, this is the kind of wake-up call parents NEED in order for them to realize the independence of their child should be respected more. Or, three, forget about Nick and be buddy-buddy with your dad.

I would personally choose either the first or the second option, and have pulled them both in the past. I would try the first approach first, and if that fails, try the second approach, though, this should be saved as the last resort. Remember, sometimes, you just can't be that sweet girl your daddy's so used to seeing and so proud of.

All the best!

 

I've tried the first one several times. I've written him like 3 notes and have talked to him about it face to face 3 or 4 times. But anytime I mention it, the most he says is stupid shit like "because i said so" and "you're not going to change my decision". I can talk to my mom about it. At least she listens and gets my side of the arguement, but she still won't budge about it. We don't really sneak out to see each other, but we meet at friends' houses and stuff and hang out there. My dad is just so fucking close-minded and I hate that so much. Everyone tells me either to wait it out or to give up and rebel because they know my dad will never budge on this. I just really fucking hate him right now, that's all. It's only been like a month and a half, I don't know how the fuck I'm going to make it another year.

 

I have three kids who are now 27-19 and 17. I have never done this to any of them and since I have not.... none of them have ever really screwed up.
All three have dated since they were young and have been with some very special people too. What we fear we create. The more your Dad comes from fear the more crap he will create in everyone's lives. It sounds like he has some severe jealousy issues about his little girl being with another guy.
Yes.... you are both young but your both being up front about what your both all about.
So many older people underestimate the young of the world. Children have built cities and fought wars over history. The next thing he will most likely say is he will DISOWN you! Which is total bullshit since that would mean, he thinks he does in fact OWN YOU. No one owns anyone and how he is going about all this is pure bullshit.
Work around the situation and see one another but just don't do anything dumb like run away. Finish school and work towards making your life a great work of love.

 

This is what inevitably happens when parents are authoritarian and expect unquestioning obedience from their children. You and your parents (Mom, too, since I bet she plays the role of "peacemaker" in your home) need to sit down together and have a really long heart to heart, where everyone gets a chance to speak without interruption. With people like your father, it may take a family counsellor or some other authority telling him he should give you the chance to speak and really listen to what you have to say. But you also need to give him teh chance to speak and really listen to what he has to say. Let him know that "because I said so" is not a valid reason for anything. He needs to be able to explain exactly what he wants, and why. Lots of parents have unrealistic expectations of their children simply because their parents had the same unrealistic expectations of them when they were children. That's not a good enough reason, either, but it is somewhat of an explanation for his actions. It might help to talk with your grandmother about this, and see if she has any insight or ideas you hadn't thought of yet. You need to realize that half of who you are came from him, and that hating him equates with self-loathing, and can cause major problems with any future adult relationships with the other sex. But of course, none of that is ever apparent except in hindsight.

 

well, my dad did eventually give in and he even let nick come down to my g-pa's for the weekend with us. it scared the shit out of me. for so long he wouldn't even let us see each other and then i asked him if nick could come down for my birthday and he said yes! but then, nick and i were on a break for a month after that. and now we're back together, but i don't want my rents to know about it. they were so stoked to hear that we broke up. and i have a feeling they'll pull this same shit and not let us hang out anymore. *sigh* we went to a football game a couple nights ago and my mother came to pick my sister and my friend and i up and nick was out there waiting with us. i'm pretty sure my mother saw us together, but she hasn't even mentioned it. i'd think she'd tell my dad and dad would surely confront me about it, but neither of them has said anything. so either my mother didn't see us or they just don't give a shit anymore...