I need some advice. Please read

Plenty of fish in the sea. Are you still in contact, what has happened? I imagine going over there and being involved in some type of group sex or just intimacy knowing that's probably what he spends his time organizing would be enough red signals to say this guy isn't stable or healthy. He may be nice but it just sounds risky. In my personal opinion. Invitations I have got that were turned down, was to screw an HIV+ man while he is doing something else with his boyfriend. I said no thanks to that. These things are things to avoid. I have a boyfriend myself and whenever three is company it gets akward. We don't do that anymore, though I am trying to help a gay homeless man out at the moment. I don't know what will happen with that. An estranged two year contact over Facebook with someone accompanied by infatuation sounds like your the one in the trap and you need to get out and find someone else to be infatuated with.

 

OMG King you sound like your in a very similar situation as me, especially the jealousy thing and deleting him from your facebook cuz you couldnt bear to look at his pictures.
I'm not gonna advise you to do anything because I know with my situation everyones telling me to get rid of him, I know I should deep down but I just cant do it. It would be hypocritical of me. If you find you cant totally cut him out, just try your best to make sure that your not making him a priority, keep yourself busy so you dont find yourself thinking about him too much.
Good luck!

 

Hey Thanks for the luck. much appreicated.. sorry to hear your in a similar situation aswell.. good luck with you too.
I agree with what you say.. Its best to keep busy so that way I dont think of them too much. Eeven though it can be quite difficult. Hows things with your situation going?

 

Thanks for the wall post.. much appreicated aswell.

I am kinda still in contact with him kinda.. but only over msn... he has hardly been on there for the past week and I have been busy with work.. but the times I have been on there.. he has not been on much.

I agree with wat you say about him.. he does seem nice.. but it is kinda risky, cause I dont really know much about him.
Nothing muich has happened.. the past couple of times he offered me to go over to visit him and then other times he has offered me to go out drinking with him.. at these times I have said I been busy with work.. other times I asked if he wanted to go for a coffee in town.. but he said he was too busy aswell.. but lately he aint said much about it. I been trying to keep busy, but at times like wen im in bed.. I think about it quite alot..

 

Yeah it can be difficult, especially when your led in bed at night trying to sleep etc, you sound just like me, its funny! Umm my situation is ok, haven't seen him for nearly 2 weeks, been texting a little though. I deleted him on facebook but he noticed and added me again and demanded i accept...i dread going on there now lol. If you wanna read whats going on with me its the thread called 'developed feelings for the fuck buddy'. But i will warn you i ramble on for a while!

 

cool.. Pleased to hear its going okay for you.. Its always good to keep busy.. I know wat you mean thought.. I have found while im in bed, that I think about them more

 

Do you find you think about it quite a lot though? I do with mine, I go through phases of not being bothered and then getting really worked up over it. So I couldn't make it out, have you two met yet? If not, swapped pics or anything?

 

Yep I do find I think about it quite alot.. like you say, getting moiments of it. I havent met him yet.. but I have seen him on cam, and he has seen me on cam.. wat about urself?

 

Oh so at least you know what each other looks like lol!
Myself? I met up with him after about a month or 2 i think. Sometimes we see eachother twice a week and then we can go like a month without seing each other...its annoying cuz i find myself missing him when i know i shouldnt be.

 

I know that feeling.. that was wat it was like with this guy i was with.. he would talk to me for a couple of weeks.. then i wouldnt hear from him in ages.. then i will have to start a convo to talk to him.
let me tell you about another guy i use to like.. i once fell for this straight guy.. He knew I liked him.. but he just used me as in the fact of using me just for help etc.. i dream about him last nite (another guy I use to like). I still get moments for this other straight guy which I once fancied.. he even told me he was a sexual.. watever that means

 

Asexual means you dont have sexual feelings for neither women or men...i find that strange but it probably does exist.
I'm in the middle of ignoring my bloke...been 3 days, I'm expecting a text 2day or 2moro as usual, but i just dont wanna deal with it anymore, starting to feel messed up.

 

dont worry, am sure he will text you soon. I know how you feel though about it. Im feeling the same at the moment.

I have always wondered wat asexual means. I thought wen he said that I thought he may of been messing around.. other times he would send a kiss emotion through msn. Never knew if he was being serious or wat. some reason I had this urge to contact him, cause I fancy him alot aswell. but my instincts tell me not to, cause i never knew if I could trust him.

 

i find asexual hard to believe to be honest.
he doesnt sound it though sending kisses on msn...i know that and actual kissing are two totally seperate things but i would of thought if you were truely asexual you wouldnt have any desire what so ever with stuff like that? i dunno its hard to understand something like that
i suppose you could drop hints, but if you arent sure if you can trust him. do you still see him? why do you feel you couldnt trust him?

its like, i dont want to talk to him, but i still want him to keep texting me so i know in my head that its me finishing it..is that mean?

 

Not too sure to be hones.. ho is it goingtoday?

I dont see the other guy still, cause he deleted me from msn at the end of last year.. I couldnt trust him as he just used me.
I allso got some girl that keeps texting me.. I dont even like her and she just constantley sends me a text, even though I dont reply

 

its ok thanks, i put a sarcastic comment on his status on facebook the other day, he deleted it and text me saying 'rude lol' so i replied 'touchy' and then he txt me this morning asking if i was free, thats what he says when he wants to come over, i didnt reply.

how did this guy use you?

how did this girl get your number? is she a friend? or friend of a friend? or someone totally random? she either really likes you or is a bit desperate if she keeps texting you when you dont reply!

 

Ah Okay. Are you going to see the guy again ?

This other guy used me for my kindness.. if you know wat I mean.

The girl who keeps texting me, I have known her for ages.. orignally to begin with, the texts werent too bad. it was like once a week or soo..but nowdays its about 25 texts a day.. and if Idont reply straight away, she gets really grumpy about it. I agree with you though she does seem desperate.. its like cant she take the hint wen I dont reply.

getting back to that guy who wants to meet me.. well he says im gonna see him soon.. but I duno if I will.. I hope I do see him at somepoint though.. As I want to get to know him.

 

25 texts a day?? omg she sounds crazy lol...you really ought to just tell her straight because that is a bit much..to say the least. if it was just a few, you could get away with it, but if your getting bombarded like that, something needs to be said!

how often do you speak to this guy? you could meet him and end up being even worse than you are now...or just be totally put off by him.

lol i am so weak, he stayed round mine last night..i was so bored, he text me asking if i was doing anything so i invited him round. i really need to stick to my guns but there is just something about him that makes me keep going back.

 

True... I am the same to be honest.. suppose to be meeting this guy tomorrow.. but last nite he asked for my full name.. thought that was abit odd.. so I said I wont tell him until I see him. did you have a good time wen he stayed round yours?

Yeah that girl sends alot of texts a day and wen I dont reply.. I get another one, and another one.. and then she gets angry.. I said to her am not interested.. but being freinds..

I speak to that guy that im seeing, well ususally speak to him in text or msn everyday.. sometimes not for a week or two.
I have this rugeto see him, cause he is soo hot.. but then I get urges, where I dshould be careful and just not meet him.

 

its difficult because sometimes i wish that i never met the bloke i'm seeing and then other times i'm glad i did...even though the whole situation makes me really upset at times. so i dont really know what to suggest to you. just go with your gut feeling. if you do meet up with him, be guarded, dont let him in too much.

you should think about changing your number lol

yeah we did have a good time when he came round, its annoying because its so good when we are together and its everything i want but i know that it will never happen properly, he sees us as fuck buds but i want more, its what happens when you get your hopes up...so make sure you dont do it!

anyway, good luck if you meet this guy.

 

Thanks. I decided not to meet him tomorrow, as I was feeling really nervous about it. I dont know how to act around bi or gay men.. and I basically didnt want to come out (I basically wanted to be on the down low). Thanks for the advice though. I shell use it wen I see him soon. I should be seeing him in a couple of weeks now, as we both off, on the same week.

I might change my number aswell.. like you say. cause that girl still sending lots of texts..

True about wat you say though, cause am hoping my feelings dont get stronger for this guy.. otherwise i will fall in love with him.. even though he was just after a fuck. hope it goes well for you also