I know I'm a guy, but I need the opinions of women on this....

I really don't think I am very comfortable posting the whole story. But I will post the part I promised you. But it may take a little longer that I thought. I'm still writing it. I hope you guys don't mind too much.

 

Right on, well, we'll all be here!

 

I personally never post anything of written value to me on a forum. With the usual disclaimers that come with php forums it usually says what you post is open source, so to speak.

That being said, don't get hung up on idea ownership. Origional idea's are fairly mythical when it comes to stories. Don't say 'that was my idea' because chances are there are tons of folk with the same train of thought, and influences and 'borrowing' as inspiration..well, you get the drift, I'm sure. Instead say 'these are my words' - that's where your ownership is.

 

Yeah, I think I will just post that one portion to you guys and thats it. I try and finish it soon. And I understand that there really is no such thing as an original idea. After all, I kind of got this idea after watching the 1968 movie Planet of the Apes, and a lot of the stuff in the story is similar to what is in the movie. Except, they are women and not apes.

 

Okay, here is the part I promised you. It shows the general feeling of most women in the story. Its a little long. It also needs to be edited and have some of the wording changed I'm sure. Tell me what you think. Forgive me for not indenting it very much.

These are my words.

A few hours passed while Lawrence and Colton were ignored by Dr. Nina, and left lying paralyzed on the tables, a another woman came into the room. She seemed to stand out from the others because Lawrence instantly noticed her because of her fantastic beauty. She was average in height, tanned, with red hair, no freckles, and deep piercing blue eyes. She had a nameplate too. It read Dr. Marie Sakari. Dr. Nina seemed to know her.
“There just aren‘t enough hours in the day, I‘m having trouble with my regular schedule, and then the military has the gall to expect me to baby-sit these bloodthirsty creatures!” Dr. Nina said without looking from her computer screen.

“This place is getting a little dirty Nina.” Marie said. “Could you possibly take time out of your busy schedule to clean it up a little.”

Nina shot around and looked as if fire were about to shoot out of her eyes.

“These creatures are dirty Marie! The zoo authorities may wash the dirt of them, but they still stink and continue to make messes!”

“Calm down, I was just joking.” replied Marie gently.

Nina seemed to relax and continued the conversation.

“So did you talk to Regional Chief Malia yet?” Dr. Nina asked. “About my promotion?”

“Yes, I did, but I highly doubt it will do any good for you. You know how she looks down her nose at those women who are not either a member of her own tribe or in a high position as she is.” said Marie.

“But that’s not fair!” said Dr. Nina. “Doesn’t that wench recognize talent when she sees it. I deserve that promotion. You made it, why can’t I?”

“I am only the chief veterinarian of this zoo.” said Marie. “I would hardly call that making it.”

“Yes, but you have power and authority. There are women under you. I’m under you!” replied Dr. Nina.

“I am not in charge because I want power. Its because I love what I do. Do you know how many women we are helping by performing experimental surgeries with these animals!” said Marie as she pointed her finger at Lawrence and Colton.

‘Animals.’ Thought Lawrence. ‘As if we were dogs.’

Just then a beeping sound came from the computer.

“Oh, General Cunanan speech is coming on.” said Dr. Nina.

Nina pressed a button on the back wall computer. Suddenly the whole of the right wall lit up into a television screen.

On the screen was a broadcast from a huge underground arena. In the seats were thousands upon thousands of women. In the center stage was the leader of the women soldiers that Lawrence had seen in the hunt. This must have been the General Cunanan that Dr. Nina had referred to. A light came on in the already well lit arena and shined down on the General as a spotlight. The General stepped up to a microphone and started speaking:

“Let me begin by saying what an honor it is to be here today.” she said. “I would also like to thank Region Chief Malia for giving me the chance to speak to all of you. Now, I am not saying that all men are evil simply because of the sexual organs they possess. After all, we women preserve and take care of the men who are mentally disabled, or physically disabled, though physical disabilities are rare because of our advanced medical technology that allows us to treat them, still we take care of those who do suffer from them, we take care of the men who are hermaphrodites, and those who are infant boys and children because they can not yet reach the point of growth where they transform into the wicked beasts that men are. However, even though not all men are evil. Most men are. And these men consist of the Three Slave Groups of Men. They are not disabled in any way, and therefore are able to reach their full evil and cause the most destruction in the world, if it were not for the slave groups which bind them and prevent them from causing any harm to us. Slave groups which have bound them for almost two thousand years ever since the Great Rebellion. These slave groups are of course a wonderful thing because they prevent men from laying waste to the Earth. They prevent the men from harming women. After all, no woman has been murdered by a man in two thousand years. No woman has been raped or molested by a man in two thousand years. No woman has been beaten by a man in two thousand years. No woman has been subjugated or persecuted by a man in two thousand years. Obviously these Three Slave Groups are a great benefit to our society.

But, the reason I am here today is because I wish to propose a correction to these slave groups. Now before you begin to question my sanity, let me explain. The Three Slave Groups are divided up as so: The First Slave Group consist of the slaves who are the most use to our world. These are The Household Men. These men are used for breeding and simply giving pleasure to us women. The Second Slave Group is the group to which I wish to make the change. These men are The Wild Men. They are released into the mountains and jungles of the world. Now they can cause us no harm because they, like all other men, are chipped and monitored. The Third Slave Group are the Slaves of Death. These men have been sentenced to death because of their nature and personalities. They are seen as good for nothing and put in this group only for the purpose of awaiting execution. Now, the change that I am proposing is that we combine the Second Slave Group with the Third Slave Group, and have the men of both groups put to death. After all, the only reason that we even created the Second Slave Group is because after the Great Rebellion the women of the world felt that it would be humane and merciful to spare the men who, even though they were of no real use to our society, were no real threat either. But I am telling you now that two thousand years of pitiful mercy are enough. It is time that we stopped being so damn softhearted. Now I know that some of you may actually think this is harsh, but remember what the Nobel One teaches us.”

The General suddenly pointed across to one side of the arena where a gigantic statue of a slender, and quite beautiful looking African woman was dividing two areas of seating.

“She has taught us that, though we are all sinners as God says we are, we women are still capable of being good, but men can be nothing but evil.” the General said. “She has taught us that our Lord Christ, who was the only decent man only because he was God incarnate, came to the Earth to save men. Women were already capable of being good, and our goodness outweighed our sin. We were able to be close to God. But men who could do nothing but evil, be nothing but evil, and needed Christ so that they might actually be good through him, and might actually come close to being as pure as women are. After all, think about it. Adam took the apple and just ate it. Without questioning the serpent in any way. But Eve questioned the serpent. While it is true she made the wrong choice. She at least thought about it before she ate. She questioned, she wondered, she thought. But Adam did not think, because men cannot think. Not really. Adam simply ate and didn’t even question it. That is why men need a savior to help them overcome the evil and violence that is in each and every one of them. But let us remember that men show hardly any faith toward God who tried to save those wretched creatures. They are completely ungrateful and hardly any of them repent as the government has taught us. And as for those who do gain salvation, it is good that they be killed and set free from any evil that affected them. Because if left alive they might lose their salvation. Don’t you see what I am saying? The only men that should be left alive are those in the First Slave Group, and only because we need them for breeding and pleasure. The other two groups are useless. The only time a man can be good and not evil is when he is dead and in Heaven, or somewhere else if you catch my drift! It is just as our great Noble One taught us! The only good man is a DEAD MAN!”

At that moment when the General finished her speech the whole of the arena stood up and burst into loud cheering. Dr. Nina then touched the wall and changed the screen to what looked like a regular news broadcast, and put it in mute so that she and Marie could continue talking.


So tell me what you think.

 

So what do you guys think of that part I showed you? I know it needs editing and maybe some word change.