I hate him so much that...

You should know what you need to do. Do it. He's a bad guy... And you're fucking nuts. And not in a playful way. You're unstable. But you still deserve better.

All the best.

 

Um, thanks? Fuck you? Dunno what to say. Yeah, I'm nuts. I scare myself sometimes when I go nuts...

 

Say what you want. It wasn't to protect your feelings. But at least you realize it and what you need to do... Which was to go to rehab, and then create a new life without your vile husband. You've done part of this already, but I would suspect you're locked in a chaotic codependent death struggle with him.

I truly honestly wish the best for you.

 

He wanted me to go to rehab too. I don't think he realized that rehab attempts to change more then just drug/alcohol use... it attempts to get to the bottom of WHY to correct it. He's all mad that I'm not taking shit... I told him he shouldn't have wanted me to go to rehab then... and then act like it's amazing that I'm not gonna tolerate the same bs when I get home...

 

what kinda rehab did he go to..... the doors are open for both of you.. not one sided...
Like my fucking **** GF.. she cant get help with herself so she runs and lies and cheats and steals........ Oh Im the problem cause I work and have a free life too...
I get high and I laugh and I flirt with other women,., Im friendly full of life after been through the mititary ringer.. So Im stern and direct I tell it how it is... I cant even relax in my home... Cause oh "im tired" from what?/ she dont do nothing but file a few papers all day... She dont chop wood and shit in the winter, dont help pile it unless I yell wtf do you want to do freeze.... Dont you know how to do this.. Turn on gas, start hot water tank...Cant use a outhouse.. < fuck this bitch.
No shed rater live in the projects than have a big BIG BIG house thats a HOME to me and the animal that practially come in the house to eat.....
Im affraid a bear might come in.... yeah aint seen a bear here in ages.. but theys around...

You can have a one sided realtionship, and you cant be a slave to him or others or a slave to your addictions....
Which sticking around in the realtionship will tunr out to be...
I was using more and more pot to chill the fuck out, try tripping around my EX was a nightmare..oh yeah I have a good time< But since shes hiding shit lying and in the back of her mind shes a crook and fraud.. LSD is gona wake her the fuck up and say OHH OO.. I better get the fuck out of her.. Cause really I dont think hes gona like what I did, and he might beat the shit out of me...
Yeah I should " easy $2200.00 she stole, a computer with my jobs network info on it.. a car, most of all she stole my fucking time... "
All your doing is stealing his time and wasting your...
Not to be ignorant.. But you got a pussy right?>? Go use it and find a mofo that will love you... and care for you...
Replace your addiction for something you love and its not them cats or that house.. Its you yourself you love so why you gona stop there... hell just make you hate yourself more and more.. "Like oh why did I quit doing drugs for this shit..- I can be pretty fucked up right now and this will just blow over and all will be well.."'
Keep lying to yoirself Lucky? While I dont know your realtionship with your mom..Stop depending on her to.. Shes much older and could leave the earth anytime like everoyne else does... DEPEND ON YOU<>> and only you.

 

I depend on my mom? I thought she kicked me out for doing acid the first time on my 18th bday and me loving her.. cause when I was younger she looked out for me and my bro... I thought it was a lesson in my life in tolerance... about how she feels bad and she's human and blah blah. I don't depend on her at all. She paid for my brothers college, his move to manhattan... i paid for my school n all that. I was bitter some but I think it made me stronger.

And Dan was not just in rehab though he was years ago for dope.

 

".. But you got a pussy right?>? Go use it and find a mofo that will love you... and care for you..."


^^^I'm well loved. I mean REALLY loved. But that isn't what I care about. I just wanna worry about ME right now.

I can't even read the rest of your post... though I'm sure you meant well... just so many things that have NOTHING to do with me and my reality.

 

reality is over rated right?? Just get high and forget it....


No I needed to rant a bit.. its cool, but see where Im coming from.. you cant change his personality and thats the issue you have really..
great you have a mom, but most importantly you have yourself..
Always have to say "what do I want" and get it, you want to leave there then do it..

 

Cool. Ive gone a month without smoking da ganja.. miss it. I think i needed the break though but Im ready... gonna get cookies soon and prolly buy a couple grams in the next few days... wish I could toke now.

 

getting high was sarcasm..

If you cant manage your anxiety that well, Id avoid using lots of pot..
its gona make you think, your mind will race and your gona panic.. Just a heads up on that...

 

Man I'd drop your cats off somewhere and stay at a friends place. Speaking as a chick that used to get the shit kicked out of her on a almost daily biases it gets harder to leave and it elivates fast.

 

kay ill work on this when i go to bed. thanks sarah. what i hate is how he thinks its all my fault. he can hit me and then deny it but i am the one with all the issues yet i admit my issues. he thinks he's king and has no faults. i can forgive and forget if someone tries to get help but when someone is that delusional... there is no hope...

 

My ex was the same, he thought he was perfect. My ribs have all these scars from his perfect shot with his knee.

 

Damn. What bothers me is.. he punched my knee yesterday... ten mins. later i was crying n just wanted an apology.. fuck he KNOWS better then to hurt me... i mean HURT ME... id kill him. he learned that. what BOTHERS me deeply is he denied it happened right after ... denied it "i didnt hit you trish...where, where wherre, where!!" yelling

um right here.. show him the mark.

i find it disgusting. but it's not just that. i have chemical dependency issues n have fucked up a bit... however, he has too. he wants to hate on me without admitting in any relationship its a two way street. I can get all psych n i KNOW he dont really buy his BULLSHIT.. thing is.. I don't care anymore to care. It's whacked.

 

issues indeed!!!

 

and what value did that post have?

seriously, im so sick of bs like omgsszzz im a fucking sheltered bitch who never went thru shit so ill post in yer thread just to say u gotz issuesss221


yeahhhh

sorry u are sheltered.

 

I hope you make your walls pretty and get out of there and your husband gets the help he needs. Because you deserve it.

 

well sorry you get beat by your boyfriend, no joke

 

btw. id beat his ass for you if you were still in that situation. you have NO IDEA how much id beat the FUCKING SHIT outta any abusive guy. Been there twice. Once I almost died, had a knife to my throat... when pregnant n now i cant get pregnant but long story... i cried like a bitch but i got outta it cause he was a dumbass n thought i had to go back into the club to get a sweatshirt and then id come back to him... i had moved out a week before, broke up a week before... he wanted me to keep the kid n i was back at my mom's n she wouldnt let me... haha its fucked up...anyways... i think it was the scariest thing ever. he had hit me before n i went to the club and we were rolling and just chillen n i was getting a massage from a FRIEND n he was straight edged..HATED my raver friends n me rolling... i was scared to see him... fucking tough punk asshole... anyways he ended up saying my MOM was in trouble n he'd talk to me outside.

MY MOM!
then... in the car...
then.. a block away...
an hour later and being beaten up with a knife to my throat and him saying he was looking for a spot to kill me then him (and yes, i believed him)

"no steve...i just want my sweatshirt, im cold... i hate my friends, i love you"

scared shitless but i put on a show. i was told not to look at anyone.

dude, the club was done. there were like 9 people there n i knew 6 of them.. I walked in with blood running down my face.. a bouncer was there n i got a pfi.

dan isnt like that.. steve woulda killed me but ive been there. dan knows id KICK HIS ASS. im Not violent but ill be damned if i ever again let a guy do that to me and yes, dan has hit me.

 

he didnt beat me up and he's my husband.


seriously.
if anything id beat him up if he laid a finger on me. i already freaked out n scared him.

i DONT let that SHIT HAPPEN.

he tries to beat me up

i kill him.

that's why im OUT.

for him too and yes i love him ...
yes i want him to be happy n get well...
but i gotta leave for him to have peace...
and worry bout me.