I had a very hippy day yesterday

Um, no. Look, I have used PLENTY of drugs in my life. I don't anymore, and I have a hard time feeling pity for people who think they need them because their lives are more painful than anyone elses. The world is painful, but the strong learn to deal with it.

 

exactly, and most of these people think their lives are so much more painful than anyone else. seriously they need to get over themselves. everyone goes through shit.

 

There is no way you have experienced what I have in my life. We are so different and there is so much I hold inside and don't tell others because I don't want to burden them. I love my life and consider myself a very blessed person but in saying that I have experienced things that would make your pulse rush.

 

I don't want your pity at all. I just don't want you judgement either. I want to be ignored or unjudged, but pity is a huge insult.

I don't like crititicism unless it comes from a loved one and then I am great at soaking it in. But you have no knowledge of my memories or experiences and no right to judge me.

 

oh please listen to yourself.

so you are telling me your life is/was so much more painful than what I have gone through???????? who are you to judge? seriously. you dont know that! IM just saying stop being so damn selfish. which you are sounding so selfish right now. youve gone through so much more pain than anyone?? please. e you arent the only one who goes through pain. get over it. you dont need drugs to cope.

 

That sounds like fun.

 

OK I don't need Xanax to have better sex... I never said that! I just said some people do. It makes them less inhibited, 100 times less than with alcohol... I'm just saying the few times I was on Xanax when I used to have nervous problems apparently I was more willing to have sex but probably was acting like I was asleep... you'd have to ask... the person.

I don't NEED drugs. I just occasionally take them recreationally.

 

Nobody is judging you. I am not judging you.

 

my doctor gave me a prescription for some for panic attacks. it was HORRIBLE. all it did was put me to sleep. i'd only take a half of one and i was a zombie. i can't function like that. needless to say, i never refilled my prescription after taking the remainder to my doc. shit's awful.

 

I said 'there is no way you have experienced what I have in my life'. I did not state that you experienced more or less pain than me, just that you couldn't have possibly experienced the same as me. Thus, I have no right to judge what you have gone through or assume how much you have gone through. But at the same time you have no right to judge what I need to do to cope.

You calling me selfish is just mean and uncalled for. I didnot call you any names and I really did not deserve that at all.

 

nevertheless, i'm on a prescription right now for depression/anxiety. it seems to be working nicely. i'm not going to give anyone a hard time for using something that keeps you from going crazy and shooting people or being just plain shitty to their kids who don't deserve it, or their loved ones who don't need it. i don't consider anyone in my personal situation to require a permanent drug fix, and leaning too heavily on any chemical to fix you is never a good idea, barring some form of psychosis or clinical depression. i only worry about HOW and WHERE people use their drugs. do whatever the fuck you want, just do go driving or babysit someone's kids.

 

Ryan calling me selfish is judging me and it makes me feel attacked and I really do not appreciatte it or need it with everything I am going through in my life...which I am sure is nothing compared to what Ryan is going through and that I am just a huge over dramatic baby who is so weak I need pills to cope when actually my problems aren't that big of a deal and I am just being selfish.
I am pissed-not at you Matty.

 

and fyi to the RX monitor-I have to give a presentation today and sign new hire paperwork so I am not taking anything and the pain is unreal...although I am sure to you it is nothing.

 

I am sorry for the loss of your daughter. It is unnatural for a parent to have to out their child to rest.

I also have PTSD, which has developed into DID and drugs sometimes help me not split, which is very frightening for me and my loved ones.

 

you actually judged and attacked me first. I dont bite unless provoked.

like I said, you know nothing about me. nothing. and yet you assume that your life is much more of a living hell than mine, which you have no clue. so think about that before you judge.

 

My grandparent just had to put their son (my uncle) to rest. I have never heard my grandfather sob like that.

Thank you for letting me know it will get easier for them.
HUGS
My ptsd comes from my dad being an evil person. I jump when I look in the mirror and see him in me because we look exactly alike. It makes me ill at times.

 

My life is not a living hell. It is blessed and wonderful but tinged with incidents of inconcievable pain.

I never judged you or attacked you. you are really hurting my feelings right now so I would appreciatte it if you would stop.

 

so that's it?

 

okay, my loves. apparently you both got a bit heated up at each other. i don't think either one of you were particularly commendable, neither were particularly nasty. kiss and make up.

 

Haha.