I had a baby with the wrong man

I disagree

I also think more people should not be aloud to see their children.

just because you have sex, without a condom, and make a child, doesn't mean anything... its just an exchange of genetics...

people need to stop making more people... we have enough people already...knock it off!

like...look at the mess this one time without condoms has led too!!!

if you would have used protection or had an abortion all this mess wouldn't even have existed. (don't hate, abortions are great...)

but anyways...

best of luck, if your karmic bank if full all will be well

 

The child not being aborted didn't lead to this mess. An unfit father did.

It's kind of messed up to tell somebody who has a kid that they should've had an abortion.

I agree that some people shouldn't have children or be allowed to have children, but that's not the case in this situation. And overpopulation won't be a problem if people take care of and love their children, and don't have so many children that they're unable to do this fully.

 

@ The Imaginary Being...

No. Everyone does not have the 'right' to see their child simply because they provided some sperm. Parenting is precious.

If that person is an emotional, psychological or physical danger to the child, or all of the above, their perceived or bare legal 'right' doesnt superceed the safety and well-being of the child.

I personally would not want my narcissistic, sadistic (and no, i did not know he was any of these things before i...'opened my legs') ex to come anywhere near my loving, happy, well-adjusted child whom he has neglected since she was born, and whom i have been raising all on my own because he flat out told me that he will not support her.

No, not EVERYONE has a 'right' to see their child. That right comes with responsibilities, and if that sense of responsibility, love and care is absent, then no, you do not have any 'right' to see MY child. Sorry.

 

I'm on OP's side, essentially, if he's only seen the child for a combined period of 5 days then he doesn't give a shit, and losing his legal rights'll be no skin off his nose.

why should her current partner have to face legal difficulties in looking after a child he's been caring for like a father SHOULD just because of some outdated idea of some magical father son/bond which still exists even when the fucker's nowhere to be seen, and should be held by everyone to be sacrosanct even when the father himself clearly has no respect for it?

if the father has a change of heart and decides that he wants to help look after the kid then fair enough, in the mean time the one's actually raising the kid should have the legal rights designed to help people in that position.

whether this is the right or wrong move ultimately no-one on here, not having the entire picture would know, either way i hope it helps create a happy and stable environment for your child, which is the main thing

 

I would say this.

It sounds like, having had a kid with your ex being the first mistake, you've made considerably more in handling him. Like in not having an honest dialogue, where if he was who you say he is, he probably would have signed over parental rights.

If he does not want them terminated, I do hope that he fights.

Whatever you make it sound like, I know someone like you: I realized it when I read what you wrote about his truck, as though his truck or it's condition somehow makes him unfit for parental rights. Fact is, it's what he's got -- if he doesn't have the money for a new vehicle, he can't get one with a backseat and that you personally consider reliable just because you want him to, unless YOU are paying for it. I know someone who uses that sort of reasoning with regards to children, and you're doing very poorly to have put yourself in their camp. I'll also say that I don't know what you consider reliable, but every vehicle breaks, and it it runs, then it runs -- it seems more likely you have one of those irrational bad feelings about it, as some people seem to get with vehicles.

And that's just the one that jumps out at me. Perhaps he has some mental illness, as far as holding a job goes. You make weed sound like a bad thing, but there is nothing immoral about being a smoker (as I expect you know) and because there's nothing immoral about weed, there's nothing immoral, for ANY amount, from a gram to a kilogram. You don't sound like you have any idea how much work or time it takes, to grow "a lot" of weed, to make enough money to pay the bills.

It doesn't sound like there's any reason to be afraid of him, and if there is, it's because of the direction YOU have moved the relationship. It sounds like you're self-justifying, because even if you decide to be afraid of his reaction (and honestly, who could blame him for ANY reaction?).

Given your attitude, it's not surprising he hasn't been around his kid much. You've got all sorts of nasty things to say about him, and you're actively trying to replace him and remove his rights. How could he not feel realllllllly awkward around you, and the kid you've been bringing up like that?

As for the rest, yeah, I don't know, but I know it doesn't sound like you're in the right.

 

If one parent's unfit, you've got to question the fitness of the one who made a child with them, unless there's been serious change.

Maybe not deny, but question.

There's nothing wrong with an honest admission that one should have had an abortion. It doesn't change the fact that there's a loved child. It would be an entirely different course of events, it's not a dis is the child, it's saying that their life could have been better if it'd happened differently.

 

Precisely. Sperm and genes do NOT give automatic "rights" if these assholes play no role in their children's lives.

 

SMH. I was wondering why you are stanning so hard for the "dad".... Now i see where you're coming from.
happy weed-growing.

 

Some on this forum will see exactly where I'm coming from.

You do not, at all.

The weed is just one part of the hypocrisy of OP's way of looking at things, and justifying how she's set up the father.

You seem to be exercising that same double-think, given your rasta-coloured avatar.