I could pwn you.....

I am really uncoordinated. My basketball team signed up for another season without telling me it had started because I was so bad. I am really bad at video games except for maybe final fantasy which requires little skill. The only fights I have won were with scrawny people. I rarely impress women with the exception of desperate crazies. I am musically brilliant but have very frail and slow fingers so I can't play instruments with much skill. I can cook delicious food but can't eat it because I am intolerant to every natural chemical known to man. I can doggy paddle but can't swim. I can be funny, but I am usually overshadowed by funnier people.

I am not a pwner.

I am ok at sex though. I get good results in this area.