I can't go into work today because...

i always showed up to work whenever i had work...

 

Because a talking deer, a lying squirrel, and a featherless birdie all gave me horrifying directions so now I'm lost.

 

My Mother made me read "Why Work?" by Bertrand Russell

 

I cannot go into work today, because I am an atheist.

 

I can't come to work today because I woke up from a drug-induced coma at Maelstrom's house with a sore bum.

 

I have interested to watch movie and more sports.

 

I'll miss my soaps!

 

I'm so drunk I really thought I was already at work, working . ( so where in the hell am I again? ) :dizzy2:

 

because i got another job!

 

.....because I shall be 'in a meeting' all day-just like you,boss.

 

I am waiting to see if a hummingbird shows up at my feeder.

 

(Because) ..... I'm a Politician!

 

I mistook a Viagra for Geritol and dress code is slacks.

 

There is a snow storm coming in two days and I am too afraid to drive.

 

I'm just so damned sad.

 

I took one of the drugs on the T.V. advertisements and have come down with one of the life threatening side-effects.

 

.....because I've done enough this year-get off your fat arse and do a bit yourself!

 

My fortune teller warned me of a disastrous outcome.

 

Because I would lose my retirement checks....;-)

 

..I don't have the keys......