"I can't come into work today because..."

(is glad I don't work for BBAD)

I'm calling around to find a mannequin to use as a spear target. Now where did I leave that roman armor?

 

I wasn't born yesterday!

 

I'm recruiting OlderWaterBrother to go to Farmout's with me for a couple hay bales, since I can't find a mannequin.

 

Going to B25YTL's place to make sure he doesn't shoot arrows straight up in the air just to see what....or who they hit on the way down

 

(hahaha...I suck with a bow)

I'm waiting behind the gate to scare the piss out of BBAD with an air horn when he shows up.

 

Because I'm driving cross country and I'm loading my supersoaker watergun with piss because B25 thinks I dont know hes hiding behind the gate

 

(thinks maybe I should talk someone else into using the air horn)

since it's going to take BBAD all day to get here, I'm running the smoker. Brisket, ribs, chickens, beer, weed and oldies tunes.

 

(drove to Texas once...took 3 days )

Cant go to work...I'm too hungry

 

I've already put in my shift, and I'm smoking a brisket, a couple whole chickens, and a sausage roll (nicknamed a fatty on the bbq board I'm on...amusing as all hell..anyway it's a chub of breakfast sausage, rolled up around a filling, this particular one made of diced jalapenos, red pepper, some diced onion, and raspberry preserves) and a shitload of link sausage...got some beer and some music going.

 

Today I'm pretending im chinese....so technicaly...today is tomorrow or yesterday....so either I've already been to work.....or Ill show up tomorrow

 

The door just fell off my car!

 

Gotta help owb fix his door hinge, don't want him fallen out of his ride....

 

Farmout just showed up to help fix my car door and he talked me into going to visit his cabin so I won't be in tomorrow either.

 

Im showing up to teach them 2 numbskulls punctuality and how to avoid absenteeism in the workplace...Ill be out of the office for a couple days.

 

I'm carting a hundred pounds of finished bbq, a pair of kegs, an elbow of dank, and a half dozen good looking hippie girls up to farmout's place. I don't think I'll be back for a week.

 

I got the pond all cleaned out, ready fer skinny dippin....might need more'n a week off tho, gotta recuperate as well.....

 

I'm having too good a time, and it's my day off! ha!

 

I was drivin into work and ran over someones car door.....blew out two tires....so i drove back home

 

I have to break the news to olderwaterbrother that somehow his favorite door fell off again, and is now, apparently, roadkill. (gets out hash)

 

Its raining and I dont want to get my skin wet