"I can't come into work today because..."

I cant come into work because its sarurday again...and all the doors are locked

 

im stuck in my bong.

 

Im not high enough to want to work

 

there's a hurricane blowin in.

 

I gotta go help Born25YearsTooLate batten down the hatches....

 

I gotta go see if Born25YearsTooLate is alright, after Ike!

 

I'm celebrating because all we got was a huge dump of rain and some wind.

 

"I can't come into work today because..."

I need a bereavement day.....my pet goldfish died

 

I'm goin to BBAD's fish wake and fish fry...

 

I got a rare illness.... uh... spike ass...

 

...i thought it was sunday.



lol i actually got way too drunk last night and dont recall falling asleep and woke up to my boss knocking on my door and i was still drunk and thought it was sunday but in my defence i didnt really sleep saturday night so you can see how i might be confused!

 

............................................................................................roids

 

I'm doing a trial run of my 'anteater pest service', where I take an anteater on a leash, stake it out next to a bed of fire ants and see if it'll eat them.

 

because its my dogs birthday....and....


We're havin' a party
Dancin' to the music
Played by the DJ
On the radio
The Coke's out in the icebox
Popcorn's on the table
Me and my baby
We're out here on the floor

So Mr., Mr. DJ
Keep those records playin'
'Cause I'm a-havin' such a good time
Dancin' with my baby

 

went sleding at the bonneville salt flats....

 

...cuz im a communist and youre not profitting off ME.

 

theres a hole in my bucket dear Liza dear Liza

 

I’m a man of constant sorrow.

 

I've seen trouble all my day

 

somebody pressed all the buttons on the elevator. and theres 152 more floors to go.