"I can't come into work today because..."

I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again.

 

damn goat et my truck tires....

 

My science experiment has gone wrong, very, very wrong.

 

my alarm didnt work

 

Got my foot stuck in the Hadron Collider.

 

Im blocked up....too many cheeseburgers

 

Now the U.S. is talking about war with Russia and I'm thinking; hey, aren't they the ones with nuclear weapons!

 

I'm thinking it's time to head for the hills.

 

I just saw Born25YearsTooLate go by here headed for the hills and I'm thinking that's not such a bad idea.

 

I've got to stop at the gun store. A single shot rifle and 5k rounds, then it's off to pick up a few basic, but hard to manufacture tools. A hammer, my railroad rail anvil, tongs. Now to head up where there's iron ore.

 

im going to run away with "my little runaway....my run...run...run...run....runaway"(insert whistling here)

 

I'm checking to see if I got everything for the trip.

 

My chauffeur stole the limo last night, my maid had pits in my OJ, and the butler ran my bathwater a little cold. Bear with me while I get another staff together
:hat:jjack

 

I have too much fuzz trapped in my navel.

 

forgot to set the rooster for 5am......

 

I need to sleep another couple days

 

My goat et the rooster and my wind up two bell alarm clock, now the goat sounds like a ticking time bomb....

 

I've got to go help farmout get the clock out of his goat before Homeland Security shows up and take him and his goat in for "questioning"!

 

i want to go to work ..but my feet wont listen to my brain

 

I thought the economy and all jobs in the U.S. would be gone after almost 8 years of Monkeyboy.