"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

I'm leaving on a jet plane..

 

my hard is on

 

l'm busy cooking yolky butt...

 

i'm watching the yolky butt cook...smells good.....

 

the yolky butt has made me really ill...

 

i suddenly got old timers disease and forgot where i work

 

My leg fell off....

 

I got shot in the head.

 

I fell off of my car roof and now I cant see....

 

someone locked the door and I onstar says they cant unlock my house for me.

 

l'm trying out a new job today

 

I am auditioning for American Idol.

 

I cant stop masturbating.

 

I have to help crummy put his hammer down.

 

i woke up and don't know where i am. i can't get to work from here if i don't know where here is.

 

I'm too hungover

 

I am building a sandcastle.

 

i have anal glaucoma.....and I just can't see my ass coming in today!!

 

I have a case of Anal Glaucoma... I can't see my ass coming in to work today

 

cause l want you to fire me..