"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

my accordian died

 

I cant come intoday, because I have to go to england and hvae a pint and talk about weird stuff with Kozmic Blue

 

I am having an out of body experience.

 

I cant come in because daiseymae triple dog dared me to lick a flag pole and now I am stuck.

 

My goldfish are getting married.

 

getting married to daisymae's goldfish

 

l'm attending my funeral at 1pm...

 

i'm unable to have breakfast because of a brown out

 

my mummy said l'm not aloud to today..

 

i'm shy

 

l'm not moving my feet today..

 

i'ts saturday

 

My mom says I can't play until i clean my room....

 

I am stapled to a standard poodle.

 

I can't figure out which is the front/back of my pantyhose....

 

gotta read the sunday papers..

 

my grandma is leaking again

 

l have removed my eyeballs.

 

i moved yesturday and now i live 2 states away

 

Im due for a pap smear..