"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

Nakedtree hugger stole my clothes......

 

I'm going to a million migit-man march...

 

i got lost. i can't find myself. wait... who am i?

 

I Fucking Hate You Cunts! I Quit!

 

I Can't Come Into Work Today Cauuuuuuse.. I'm Sitting Here ..Typing My Cute Little Butt Off......24 Hours A Day......7 Days A Week....Totally Obsessed With The Burning Desire.....To Wipe "Da Boogs" Clear Off The **Last Person To Post Wins** Thread.....



Yours.........Exhibiting All The Classic Symptoms Of An "Obsesive Complusive Disorder".....

Glen.

 

What, are you people insane, I Quit!.......

 

I Can't Come Into Work Today Cauuuuuuuse...I'm Here At The "Farmout Ranch"....Armed With A..... Blockbuster.....Chainsaw.....Small Bulldozer.....And Assorted Explosives........Tryin To Coax The "Cantankerous Old Fart" Out Of His Bedroom..............His Pouting Scene....Developed Into A Sulking Scene......Which Then Developed Into A Full Blown Temper Tantrum Type Of Scene....(if you get my drift).......Whooooooooo...




Yours.........Willing To Try.....Logic And Reasoning First........Then If That Fails.......Well Thats When I "Blow" The Freekin Door....(and possibly most of the cabin) Off It's Hinges ...

Glen.

P.S....I Firmly Believe... When Communication Fails...... Explosives...Can Solve Even The Most Complex Of Problems............Agreed..???

 

All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy.

 

In the horsepital, GlenGlen blew up my homestead, everyone survived, just slightly wounded........

 

Whooooops....Sorry.....Forgot To Say.....My Only Formal Training With "High Tech" Explosives......Came From Watching A Couple Of Kids.......Light Their .."Sparklers"...On "Bonfire Night"..........SORRY.....SORRY....!!!!!Whoooooooo What A Mess Iv'e Got Myself Into Now.......



Yours........Whilst Phoning His Legal Adviser.....Then A Builder Who Specialises In The Restoration Of "Explosive Damaged " Log Cabins......

Glen.

P.S...No I Haven't Forgotten The Wounded.......I Am A Most Compassionate Man............Have Fowarded To You.... A Small "Enonomy Pack" Of Bandages...."Fed-Ex"........Collect...

 

Not to worry now, I'm on the mend, planning a quick clandestine trip to Bathurst, Austrailia, need vacation time, collecting massive amounts of firepower, small backpack nuke........

 

I'm hiding a jew in my basement.

 

I'm banging my boss's mom.

 

my nazi father is taking me to the barbers to bleach my hair.

 

I'm a stowaway on a freighter, heading to Bathurst, Austrailia, with my weapons of mass destruction, lookin fer ole buddy GlenGlen......

 

What Is It With You Americans......Your So Bloody Thin Skinned.......Take Offence At Even The Slightest Little Thing.......Yes I Admit I Did Make A ***Small Tactical Error*** By Blowing You And Your Log Cabin Up........But Hey...Life Is Supposed To Be All About "Forgiveness"...Isn't It..???..



Yours........Whilst Throwing The Last Of His "Meagre Possessions"........(and six startled cats)...Into A Removalist Van That Specialises In... Last Minute...Panic Moves... To "Iceland"........

Glen.

P.S....Sorry Boss....Won't Be At Work Today....Something Urgent Just Came Up....

 

i'm trying to practice witch craft

 

Dogs are landing on the moon, and I have to keep my thumb on the record button....

 

Got my Dick stuck in the hover again.

 

I'm oil wrestling two men from the car garage.



*The sound of spanking continues for several minutes.