"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

i cant come in today because your a total retard.....and i dont like the way you eat

 

...when I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel darn good about it.

 

l have a runny bottom..

 

my fingers are stapled to my keyboard

 

that racoon stole my lambchop

 

the voices in my head are fighting with me and hid my car keys.

 

I just didn't wanna come in.


Wanna fight about it.

 

I cant come in, I have to go to alaska and pick a fight wih Lodog.

 

I have to go watch lodog and crummy fight.

 

I just kicked someone's ass. That deserves comp time or something doesn't it?

 

I'm much to occupied w/something else that's much funner

 

I wont be in today either, Lodog Kicked my ass.

 

I wont be in cause i gotta watch over crummy at the hospital.

 

Sorry. I used the Phrase "Crummy's feeling Crummy" and laughed so hard I developed a hernia putting me in the hospital.

 

still got the chicken pox

 

my hand is posessed and kills anyone who comes near me... but if you're willing to take that risk, i could come in for a half day...

 

Mu penis is posessed and penetrates anyone who comes near me... but if you're willing to take that risk, i could come in for a half day...

 

l've slashed my wrists again.

 

My perm fell out.

 

I have to get another perm for crummy