"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

got to go track down Puddin and break his kneecaps..

 

I have to ejaculate.

 

l'm going to a lesbian party this afternoon..

 

I have crabs.

 

my meat is loafing~

 

im drunk and hitting my wife

 

ICP is kicking my ass

 

Some extreemly obese transvestite just broke my kneecaps.

 

a dude with a cape stole my car.

 

l don't remember where l work?

 

I am trying find naked pictures of bedlam.

 

l'm hiding all my pictures today as l feel someone is going to steal them...

 

I cant come in because I am a dick .

 

l'm tripping off my guts and an unable to attend work today..

 

my garter belt got stuck in the radiator.

 

l've lost my pussy and l gotta go find her..

 

The local beauty pageant contestants need me to measure them for their various pageant gowns and swimsuits, and I promised I would, or I swear I would be right there at work.

 

cause BlackGuardXIII is coming over and being my sex slave for the day..

 

I won't be in to work today cuz I have to catch a flight half way around the world in order to take care of some extremely urgent, very important, private personal business. I may not be back, depending on how it goes.......

 

am going for a ride on a hot air baloon today instead..