I can slowly feel myself falling into antisocial disorder, a journey to insanity

Seek help for yourself. The sooner the better. I'm sure on some level you do feel bad about what you are doing or you wouldn't feel compelled to admit to it in your posts. Don't wait. Don't think that you can diagnose or cure yourself. It won't work. Get help. Don't think about it, just do it because you know deep down that it's the right thing to do. Get help now.

 

lol to have it you have to be over eighteen


that cracks me up lol

 

have studies then shown a lot of people get it on their birthdays?

 

like say the eighteenth by any chance?

 

Most molesters were themselves molested.

Evil is lack of knowledge of truth.

Denouncing anyone who says, does or thinks things we don't approve of is not helpful... it's just an emotional projection of our own fear onto a clearly sick and/or suffering person.

If anyone really wants to help this person, they need to stay detached, and refrain from indulging in emotional expressions of judgment or condemnation. Sick and suffering people often hate themselves already, so making them feel worse about themselves is not helping anything. It could actually make things worse, for them and for others.

That poster clearly needs professional help, so the best thing to do is encourage him to get it, or conduct yourself like a rational, non-judgmental professional when responding to him.

Peace.

 

:applause:Well said, and thanx for saying it!

 

Did you report this person or just provided the link?

 

I hope to God nobody here ever thinks of reporting one of their fellow human beings to any kind of governmental criminal investigation agency. Most such agencies to not exist to really help people from the heart, but just to demonize, judge, condemn and punish people who need real help, and who very often, were victims themselves.

The system, as it's currently set up, exists to punish people, with the result that they end up hurting the very people who need the most love and guidance in our society. The system has no compassion, and no heart, which is why that same system thinks nothing of dropping bombs on peoples heads thousands of miles away, or even drugging and experimenting on their own citizens, as the CIA did in their MK Ultra program.

We have to stick together and help one another from the heart, and with true compassion. It is the only way. Together we stand, or divided, demonized, judged, scapegoated and punished we will fall. In unity is power. The system exists to create divisions... in families, communities, and in nations. The system and it's agencies cannot be trusted to protect us or our brothers and sisters. We have to do that, and we are more than capable of doing it.

People come to us here for help. If we betray their trust by reporting them to a governmental agency, we would be undermining our own integrity, and causing people to fear that they can't trust us. And if people can't trust their brothers and sisters on non-traditional forums like this, which promote peace and love, then who can they trust?

Let's not put any suffering person in that position, and respect their right to privacy and compassion.

Blessings.

 

I completely understand your argument, whole-heartedly... but are you saying that if you knew a child was being physically or sexually abused you wouldn't say anything in order to protect the abuser from our (obviously flawed) system?

 

You're right... in that case you'd have to alert the authorities.

I was under the impression that he was referring to something that happened in the past, years earlier, and which he felt guilty about.

I didn't really read his post thoroughly, and was just commenting on what I saw when I skimmed it.

Sorry if I was mistaken.

Edit: Yep, I just read more of it... that guy needs professional help. The writing was so jumbled I couldn't make total sense of it, but if a child is being hurt now, or someone is in danger (sounded like it), then calling the authorities is certainly necessary.

Thanks for pointing that out... I have a hard time fully absorbing writing that isn't formatted in any kind of legible form. lol

 

past and present are hallucinations

the only thing that exists is now

your mind brings back hallucinations of past and present to teach you something about 'now'

Until you learn what they are teaching you and can remain comfortable in 'now', they will continue to come back.

Do not believe you have a 'disorder'. 'Disorder' implies some kind of permanent psychological disorder. Nothing in the realm of the psyche is permanent, it can all be changed if you have the will to do it.

I think you should sit quietly somewhere for a long time, then let the troublesome thoughts 'surface' then begin to thoroughly analyze why you want to carry out such things, completely pan it out, completely think out the outcome. Completely emulate all thoughts and process your brain is suggesting to you. The reason troublesome thoughts keep coming back is you haven't fully worked them out. Your afraid to finish the thought, your afraid to think it through to the end. Why? Finish the thought. Finish the cycle. Everything in this universe goes in a cycle, your thoughts and feelings are just the same.

You have everything you need right here to be completely happy. You don't need friends, you don't need a girlfriend. You just need to know that you honestly deserve such things and that being yourself will bring them. That is, being the 'yourself' that no longer has troublesome thoughts running through your head. So think them through and get to a point where your mind can just be quiet and calm.

Another way to think about it is. Some people go out and gather material objects, or material 'verifications' for there feelings. Wealth, friends, girlfriends. They use the fact they managed to get these material verifications as evidence these feelings are true. This is what materialism is. However, everything in this universe is associative, not causal. Therefore this process can be reversed. Instead of gathering material verifcation to create feeling. You can merely create feeling and then material verification will follow. So think long and hard about what you would want to feel like when your life is -perfect-. Then develop a method to maintain that feeling through everything and watch the material around you change.

Understand that as this occurs, the material changes will be very literal. To maintain such a feeling you may find you can no longer work a certain job, you can no longer go to that school, you can no longer associate with a certain group of people the same. But consider your feelings more important than all that, because really, they are. Maintain the feeling you want.

I would suggest hindu or vedic spiritual groundwork, energized meditation, as such things seems to synergize with me. But thats only me, you have to find your own methods.

 

rygoody,

That is one of the most insightful posts I've read in a long time, and it's reinforced many of the things I always knew to be true, but somehow forgot in my orgy of self destruction.

Can you expand on some of the things you spoke about, such a specific strategies, or even just more of your thoughts on these issues? I and many others here could benefit greatly from your insight, so anything you can offer is very much appreciated. Thank you very much.

Sincerely,
Erik D.

PS... I did a google on Hindu/Vedic Spiritual Groundwork, but I didn't find anything.

 

hindu and vedic philosophy spawned into subsets that people today would label, Buddhism, Tantra or Taoism

I say hindu/vedic groundwork instead of those religions only for the simple reason. I would not suggest believing in any single spiritual structure. Try to get to the core of all of them if your gonna do it and what they all are. Every religion and method of spirituality spawned off the realization and sight of the same -thing-. Different religions and spiritual basis's are merely just, different interpretations of the same thing.

If you start going down that route though. Understand that certain things will just sort of, draw you in certain directions, follow such directions. Never adhere to any structure defined by someone else or any spirituality no matter how well it has thus far worked, never adhere to any dogma. Clearly, not a single one of them is perfect as they haven't been able to make the world perfect thus far. I think the perfect method of spirituality will spawn out of a radical combination of every single belief man kind has thus far known. However, I do consider hindu and vedic basis to be much farther along than anything of the western world.

Also, some dogmas very cleverly disguise themselves under guises like rational, logic, consistent, sanity, health. There is only one ultimate truth of physical reality in the grand scheme of things and that is natural order. Your only dogma should be what the earth presents. Then furthermore there is only one ultimate truth in your perception of earth, that is your nervous system. The unconcious mind, instinct and pure feeling.

As for telling you what to do in terms of personal matters? I haven't the slightest clue. All I can do is say what I liked. So heres a list a of names I've found over the years. Timothy Leary, Terence Mckenna, Christopher Hyatt, Robert Anton Wilson, Aleister Crowley and good ol' Buddha.

Some might say psychologist? But do you want to get into the habit of paying someone to tell your problems to? What your inherently try to do is rid yourself of unwanted unconcious recurring habits, the process of habit formation is not to be avoided, lost control of or given to something -right-. Or even worse, psychiatry? I would say brain matter and chemical composition is dependent on what you think, not the other way around. You'll also run into the fear of 'sczhizophrenia' at some point, maybe. That one catches a good many that are trying to escape dominator culture. Which I would merely say, a shaman is a self controlled schizophrenic that finds great joy and value in his mind. Hallucination can be just a high form of thinking, if you stumble onto it, learn to harness it, magick. Don't be afraid to have these conversations with yourself. If you just give some time of calmness and still in your mind, the answers will form.

Always remember, there are other people out there doing the exact same thing. Keep an eye out for them.

 

Wow, that's great stuff. Thanks.

I might type more tomorrow, but it's time for me to crash.

Nite all.

Zzz....

 

millions of others have said the same before me...

 

But, what about the passage of time?

Can I psychologically will certain things to not have happened?

My common sense tells me no, but I believe that when there's a will, there's a way. I take that literally.

Could I psychologically will certain things to be so insignificant as to not have happened?

In other words, change reality to the point where the memory and effects of those things, in my mind, in the minds of others, and in the fabric of space/time would just disappear?

Can I actually will things to have happened differently in the past?

Or just for the effects of those things to go away?

Any advice or feedback you can provide is very much appreciated.

Namaste

Erik D

 

passage of time?

Willing things of the past not to have happened? Well I think the better question is what would -not have happened- be exactly. If it were to be undone what exactly would you be undoing? Certainly that past event does not exist anymore. All that past event is, it's now just a little clump of synapses wired in your brain, it's a memory. You remembering, you reliving or remembering the "past" is nothing more than your brain hallucinating things filed away synpatically in the portion of your brain you choicefully label the "past". Thats all what it is that you call "past". Wrinkles and synaptic wirings in your brain. Such things only exist in your brain, and the brain of those involved, if they did hold the memory such as you. But as you've probably noticed the "past" is different for everyone. Thats because it doesn't really exist. The only thing that exists is the now.

It was Leary who said "hallucinatory struggles are the induction of karmic debt". Which specifically he was reffering to hallucinating yourself in Hell and dealing with demons, rather inner demons, on LSD. But it is a component of the brain that is the same, even though it's function is so subtle you don't even realize it in waking sober life. All negative feelings, all worried anxious paranoid thoughts are merely hallucinatory struggle, induced by karmic debt. That is how karma functions, it's not describing some prevailing force of the world. Karma describes an underlying psychological principle of how the unconcious mind functions. If you commit a 'sin', which sins are personally defined, then its going to be tramautic to you, it's gonna be a pretty pertinent wiring in the base of your unconcious mind that will come back up for many years. Until you figure out what exactly it is your indebted to karma for.

How do you get rid of karmic debt? Well theres a whole entire religion about that. In fact theres dozens, all eastern mythologies and philosophy are pretty much just descriptions of how to get rid of karmic debt. Some people need to actually physically go out and do something, apology. Which in some instances, that may be the only thing to do. But there is a whole aspect of, just by meditation and focusing on the inner self you can unravel the synaptic knots of karmic debt.

What that process involves is. Most people interpret recurring memories of 'mistakes' as something there supposed to take and make a list of do's and don'ts. Then there supposed to conciously remember this list and take it with them through life and always, conciously, remember it. This is really no different than a personal set of 10 commandments. Typically this also causes even more problems because then your always having to conciously go through your list of do's and don'ts, which in the process of the that, your list typically just keeps growing.

The alternative to conciously remembering such a list to avoid karmic debt is to, integrate such experiences into your state of being in the now. Or rather, unconciously remember them, integrate them into you, integrate them into your soul. What desire, what want, what state or aspect of your ego caused your 'mistake'. The answer is not to hold onto that desire, that want or aspect of your ego, while conciously enforcing a "dont". The answer is to literally remove that desire, that want or portion of your ego. Undo those synaptic knots of bad memories into merely more unconcious aspects of yourself that will automatically avoid the same mistake again. Learn from things at a spiritual, unconcious, level. Then you no longer have to think about the memories, you no longer have to hallucinate the past to maintain your list of "donts". All you have to do is be, here in the now, just existing, because every aspect of you, down to your unconcious mind is completely in state of living in harmony, peace and love with everyone and everything around you. And you know, your spirit, your unconcious mind, all aspects of your ego, all aspects of you are kind enough, open-minded enough, respecting enough of all life that, even when your drunk out of your mind or tripping balls, or any state of having absolutely NO concious control. You will still act the way you want, because thats how you unconciously are, thats just how automatically are. If you manage to make all unconcious, automated aspects of 'you' to act and live how you want them to, then you no longer have to think and fret about 'dos and donts' while living, because it's automated. You don't need a concious mind to be proper and in peace with all, you just are down to the core of being and spirit. Don't fight the unconcious mind, gain complete concious control of it directly, which is control of all feeling. You might like the vipassana meditation.

Now can you undo the "past" in other peoples minds? No. But certainly if you manage to do it in yourself, thats going to aid the process of it being undone in other peoples minds.

 

I read your first post and contrary to what you believe Antisocial disorder starts at an earlier age than adulthood. Its symptoms at that age include abuse of other people and or animals. Starts around the ages of 10 and 13.