I am being mangled

Have you ever considered taking a semester off to travel? There are a lot of interesting people here that live in a lot of interesting places, no? Perhaps they could help you with ideas.

 

I think Ive decided Im leaving. I have a multitiude of emotions/ideas/thoughts erupting inside myself right now, and actually an event just passed today that rather 'broke the straw on the camel's back' so to speak...

I can visualize the life I want now, and later.....and I am not indulging in the things which make me happy right now. Not at all.

..I am looking into jobs for the rest of the year, travel opportunities, for now. I have been to pre-disposed with activities I am too passionless and grim to truly enjoy, while I am daydreaming the time away.

 

I don't know if they have one in Canada but there is a place near me called RCI. They sell time shares and upgrades for them. They offer paid vacation after only 6 months and they pay for your hotel when you travel. They also give you a few hundred dollars for travel and get you all kinds of discounts.

 

Yay for Cate! arty:

 

hahaha Big hugs for you birdy.

Makaveli, where are you from?

 

one thing i seriously do not want to see, is you becoming dulled and loosing your passion cate
i am so bitter and so empty because of schooling
and whenever anyone asks me about it i get so angry
i do not want that to happen to you
you're too passionate to loose it

 

My mother's womb. That is the place from where we all originate, no?

 

Thats beautiful.

 

Exactly. Im trying to be something Im not right now, which is conformed. And quite obviously...it is having some very negative effects on my spirit and mind.

 

Thank you. Quite poetic, no?

In all seriousness I PMed you about it.

 

Let the wild roam free. You can get formal education when you're older.

You're 19. Now is the perfect time to actually experience the world. Live it up Caitlin.

 

Thanks lode...much appreciated words

 

Wanna be a lab rat? I can get you into a study for a month in Austin. Bam, $5000.

Tour the US for two months on the cash. My ex just got out of one, she's in Florida this week, coming back to Austin next week, and the jetting off to Las Vegas for Halloween.

It's quite a rock star life.

 

Haha! What sort of lab?

 

You test out pharmaceutical drugs. Last thing I did was oxycotin. One phase of the study was them actually crushing up oxy in 2.5 shots of vodka, drinken on an empty stomach.

After that we sat around for like 5 hours and got our blood drawn like 18 times over the course of the dosing days.

But it's bling Caitlin.

 

haha.I dont think I could do that!

 

that sounds sweet
getting paid to get hiiiiiiigh

 

Cate, don't wait on what you want to do. just go for it.

i wish i had done so, now 5 years into getting my Bachelors, i'm still pretty far off on all the classes i need, i'm not happy with the major...friends have graduated and moved on to the next part of there life, while i'm still at this school.

run free with your dreams and have fun. don't waste yoru time doing something you dont' enjoy - i know how it feels. it sucks. but there is a shining light in the future - i get my ring, i have a better idea with what i want to do with my life now, its somewhat enjoyable being here now that i just don't give a rat ass about whatever goes on here...

you go soar over those mountains

 

Okay lovey Thanks---- You guys are seriously giving me the support I need for my inspired move!

 

Much love...much love....much love.