humiliation - what is the big turn on ?

I love the loss of control aspects of sharing my gf. I love her asking me if I want him to fuck her beforehand and we have ritual where I kiss her panty clad pussy and she tells me he’s going to be in there soon. It’s as if I’m giving her to him as a present and also that I’m giving him to her. Another cock for her, for her pleasure.

 

Long time ago I hooked up with a young, successful woman with managerial job, and who prided herself for being a tough, efficient boss.
But she was looking for a submissive relationship (her being dominated). And obviously that was a big turn on for her to be at the same time this powerful woman and be fucked on the floor.

 

It was being used and made to do things that we againt the norm. The lure of power over your subject is the turn on as much as making them do things that would be construed as Humiliation. For most , it is only humiiating during the encounter. For others, its maintaining power all of the time and putting them down for it. For us, it was during our experience . My wife would make me do things and sometimes she would be humiliated. Fascials, buttplugs and dildos come to mind..PS. She would really get off on it, then act like nothing happened.

 

Mine was that I was always an alpha growing up, it’s like my friends expected me to be since I was taller and bigger than most. After flitting around with a friend at 13 and we got together again at 18 I was so shocked at how much bigger his dick was than mine. We had played and jerked each other years before but never oral. As soon as I handled his fat cock I wanted to suck it. Kind of like his dick was dominant and I just wanted to make him feel good. Looking at or dicks held together made me very excited, how much longer and thicker. Later I thought of all the girls I’d been with and knew they would like his better.

 

Not too much different was the root causes of my development of my Mall Penis Humiliation fetish. I definitely have a much more alpha than beta personality and have always been a tall, barrell chested and naturally muscular . However I have a tiny penis and I was noticeably smaller than any guys in my phs ed class in early high school and never got any bigger ( so basically as an adult I am smaller than your average 14 year old. By the time I was in my mid twenties I had the sph thing and I am particularily aroused if other much more beta types are way bigger than me.
I was pretty certain all the girlfriends I have had were with better hung guys before and after me. I saw one guys dick who was an ex gfs boyfriend and he was a rather scrawny wimpish type but he had a huge cock ( flaccid in a sports centre change room) If he wasnt even a grower his soft was much bigger and thicker than mine if I was erect. I was totally turned on by the knowledge that he was fucking my ex and she knew how superior his cock was to my baby dick.

 

Cleaning up a Mistress and her bull

 

I worked for a pretty but very nasty bullying type boss. I used to constantly clash with her as I would not cow to her like most of her underlings. I have a rampant sph fetish and often fantasized about her seeing how tiny my dick is and subsequently verbally abuse me in regards to my lack of manhood. Ultimately she would force me to strip naked in front of her and some of the other female staff and they watch and chastise me as I wank my baby dick.

 

I believe that SPH fantasies are common for many men regarding women work colleagues and women bosses. It definitely falls into the most intense category of humiliation to think of having to go to work bottomless with a significantly under-sized penis. It is not the image we cultivate for ourselves at work, and it would change the whole power dynamic of work. It is also supremely a fantasy, because of the strict rules and standards of propriety around work.

I've had two cross-over experiences and they are firmly etched in my mind.

First, at a company picnic, I witnessed a woman who was the wife of a senior manager at work verbally expose him to a large group of colleagues and their friends and spouses as being inadequate in bed and as having "a penis the size of a little boy's." She'd had too much to drink and was flirting with younger men at the picnic, and her husband was trying, nicely but increasingly firmly, to tell her that it was time for them to go home, when she blurted this out. I was in my early-20s at the time, and they were in their late-30s or early-40s, and I felt sorry for her husband, who was well liked and respected at work, but I also found it arousing that she would "out" him for having a small penis that way and that she was essentially advertising to the other men present that he was too small to satisfy her sexually. He looked deeply ashamed, certainly because his wife was drunk and making a scene about wanting to stay, but also likely because he really did have a small penis, and many women from work had heard this and they had seen how embarrassed he was when she said it. It was as if she frequently had made an issue of his size in the bedroom, but now she was making it public. She let out a wicked laugh after she said it. I found it strangely arousing.

Second, I had a mutual crush at work, and while we were both separated and going through divorces, we began to date each other. We only had sex one time, but we did get naked together a few times before that. The first time was showering together to save time after getting thoroughly dirty doing an outdoor project at her house that involved digging, and one of us needing to get to the airport for a flight soon. During or after our brief fling, which did not end badly (we just found that we weren't a great match for each other), she must have told at least one person at work that I have a small penis. No one else at work could have known this, and it started coming up in jokes made to me, or about me in my presence, by co-workers. I could tell that it had gotten widely around our workplace because men as well as women I worked with would make a comment referring to my size, and others would laugh as though they understood exactly what the situation was. It did change the workplace dynamic for me, being known to be a guy with a little dick, but it's the risk I took when I stripped-off in a co-worker's home, stepped into the shower with her, and she soaped every little inch of me.

For as long as I worked for that employer, I just had to live with it. People didn't directly comment on my genitals in any way that would be workplace harassment. It would be more subtle, like a woman colleague out after work for drinks, brushing off the flirtation of a male colleague, by looking directly at me and winking when saying that she wouldn't date a man unless he's a human tripod.

 

I suffered once because a workplace rival whom I had a long running mutual dislike relationship cross paths with me in the changeroom showers at a leisure center. He saw how tiny my penis is ( particularily small compared to his). He became more emboldened around me and I am certain he made sure my lack of endowment became part of the gossip mill. In particular a female co worker who used to flirt with me remained friendly but stopped the flirtations.
When it happened I didnt have my sph fetish but now I recall it is arousing to me. Doesnt mean I would chose to suffer that or other similar actual experiences but the personal thrill factor is palpable. It is a great compensation for essentially uncomfortable situations in regards to owning a baby dick.

 

did change the workplace dynamic for me, being known to be a guy with a little dick, but it's the risk I took when I stripped-off in a co-worker's home, stepped into the shower with her, and she soaped every little inch of me. ( qoute from NubbinsUp post)
I generally tried to avoid workplace hook ups precisely because of the potential exposure to the gossip mill. This didnt mean I didnt enter into a number of dating situations spawned from workplace flirtations but only two led to sex.
One didnt lead to anything detrimental even when I didnt exactly rock her boat but the other resulted in the girl in question gossiping to other female workmates about how tiny my penis is. (I know this because one of them told me about it - not to be malicious but to warn me of it) I never got any overt reactions from anyone but it was chastening to know that my little secret had been exposed.

 

Recalling the times I occassionally found I was aroused by humiliating experiences in regards to my tiny penis ( after the fact) I thought it was extremely weird and had no idea that it was a genuine fetish. I thought when it happened it was extremely odd and it was some sort of compensation for very unenjoyable experiences.
About a couple of decades or more passed randomly getting strange kicks from embarrassing situations before I discovered it wasnt such a rare thing not just for guys with tiny cocks but even others with better endowments to have this SPH thing.
My own fetish blossomed and to this day I can even get massively aroused recalling previously very humiliating incidents.
I am not entirely sure what embarrassment happened that subsequently caused me to be aroused the first time but I kind of think it may have been after I was pantsed in front of a group of cheerleaders in high school. I was turned on by the fact that they saw my penis but that may have been boosted by the (unrealized) sph factor.
It wasnt just the kinky exposure of my genitals to them but the knowledge that they also saw how tiny my cock was. Good thing I didnt have the full blown fetish yet or they may have seen how small my erect size was as well. Now in a fantasy scenario I imagine that I did get erect in front of them and they insisted I wank my tiny cock for their amusement.

 

A woman friend, though much younger than I was, offered great advice and guidance. She'd describe the situations you identify here in this thread as going into "your permanent spank bank." I envy those who understand and embrace their fetishes early in adulthood. No matter what our fetishes are, most of us lose valuable years not fully understanding how to generate all of that sexual energy, and how to identify and tap-into the complementary fetishes of our partners to generate such sexual energy for them, and for both of us.

That woman friend had three main fetishes of her own, and teasing and humiliating men with small penises for mutual gratification was one of them. She was an expert. It seems that by her early 20s she fully understood them all, and also understood how to go about finding others to indulge those interests in socially acceptable ways. Like her, like me, like you probably, the roots of most fetishes are in childhood. For those who cannot identify the origin of their fetishes, the reason is that it is rooted in fear or trauma, and we do not sexualize those feelings and memories until after puberty. A flood of hormones that comes with physical sexual development can turn an old feeling into a desire. She knew exactly where her interest in delivering SPH began, and she described the incident to me in detail. Another of her particular fetishes was for her to be voyeured, and her interest in that came from the same incident in her childhood.

Many married people do not confess their fetishes to their spouses until long after they are married. Lost time...lost opportunities.

 

I have a female friend who totally gets the SPH thing and gladly aids and abets it ( mostly by e mail as she lives in another country) I also had another female friend who enjoyed having sex in front of others. She was a self confessed size queen and her bfs were generally well endowed. On her instigation/invitation she had sex with one of her bfs while I enjoyed a massive sph kick voying while playing with my tiny cock. ( it was a one off) She was unaware I had a tiny penis until she asked me if I would be interested in a 3some. I thought it only fair to save her the surprise and at first she balked but then asked me to come and voy anyway.

 

flaccid it is at max a skinny 2" and fully erect it is just under 4" and about 4" girth
I never got any bigger since I was 14 and at least flaccid size I was easily the smallest guy in my phys ed changerooms - basically I am smaller than your average 14 year old

 

Only once that I am sure of. Complete fluke I think as U I never even came close with that same girl again. I think she kept in the relationship a while longer because of that one off. I did find out that she eventually was playing away though. She confessed to me that my penis was just too small for her.

 

One of my gfs told me she didnt mind I usually came quickly because even when I managed to last longer than a few minutes it didnt get her off. I only gave her any pleasure with foreplay and afterplay leaving my little dick out of the action. I believe most women are not size queens but then every woman I have known had never been with a guy who had a tiny cock. Many profess that girth is a major factor and mine is extra skinny as well.
I have the compensatory sph fetish so even past embarrassments, rejections and humiliations are arousing to me now, I vividly recall actually getting an erection while one of my gfs confessed to cheating on me with other guys - not because she wanted to be in a relationship with them but for the sex kicks because my cock was way too small for her enjoyment. She noticed this and although not immediately it led to us staying together in a semi open cuckold style sex life. I never in a billion years imagined I would happlily engage in such an activity without suffering constant jealousy and humiliation. The humilation part became arousing and jealousy never occurred.

 

I just posted a long-ish missive on a thread asking the question whether men are less masculine these days. In the course of my diatribe on the subject I basically espoused a yes to that question ( mostly based on male attention to more perfumery, expensive fashionista clothing styles and pricey haircuts etc)
I then started to question my own masculinity even though I am definitely oldschool when it comes to modern male flummery. I may have a more rough at the edges alpha outward persona but I have acquired a fetish in the last couple of decades that makes my own outward plummage perhaps a bit of a disguise. SPH - ( small penis humiliation) I have always had a tiny very unmanly sized penis but not a fetish to go with it that has lead me towards some rather unmasculine more beta sexual activities , fantasies and possible future indulgences.
I have been in two relationships involving cuckold sex action, I have worn womens panties, and I love it when a woman chastise me about my lack of manhood.
More than one of my cuck experiences involved guys who would fall into my critique on modern guys being less masculine. They ticked all or most of the boxes I have derided but they certainly outmanned me in the bedroom as I wanked my tiny cock and watched them fuck my girlfriend. One of them was what I would classify as decidedly more beta but he alpha-ed me in the bedroom. He even rubbed his much larger cock against my babydick before he fucked the living daylights out of my girlfriend. I guess I am the less masculine one now.