How to get fired...ABC style

Masturbate on company time

 

K- Kill five customers and then piss on their graves.

 

^ you trippin on acid right now? I don't recall K coming after M in the alphabet. lmao


Nod off at your desk because you booted too much H before work.

 

Organize a strike..

 

P - Place yourself @ your boss's desk so when HIS BOSS comes in to give him a raise,he gives it to you instead..... While your in there getting the raise YOUR BOSS comes in and ruins the whole thing by telling HIS BOSS who you are (Inches away from a 50,000 raise);start swearing,carrying on like a 5yo;undress and start wiggling back and fourth

 

Quit 20 minutes early every day and leave without permission

 

Runover the store with a monster truck, during christmas selloff

 

S - Shit all over your desk and then start throwing it around the room while screaming "Equal rights"

 

take a shit in the corner once a week until they find out its you

 

Hehehehe

U - Undercover your co-workers scheme to defraud your boss and make it look like it was YOU all along

 

V-

Spend too much time on the work pc looking at pictures of vaginas.

 

whacking off on the couch in the coffee lounge......

 

talk about X-Factor incessantly

 

yackety-yack all the long day with a mummified dead budgie that you keep in your drawer... share jokes with it and scowl at collegues if they try humour you...

 

Z - Zoom out of the office telling your boss you have a hot date.. Come back an hour later with your date and start making love,etc KNOWING ITS YOUR BOSS'S WIFE

 

Act like your crying all day

 

leave a Bomb in the mailroom

 

Take a Crap on the boss's kitten

 

Call in Dead

 

Ejaculate on the Desk. The bosses desk. The Female Boss!