How to Bulldoze Rejection without looking Lame

Hmmm....regardless if it's trolling this can turn into a good conversation.

You can handle rejection in 2 main ways:

1. Keep pursuing and in classy ways asking her out.
2. Stop at a certain point asking the said person out.

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To a point, there is no necessarily wrong way.

Former Pres. Harry Truman, kept trying to win his wife's affections since he asked her out for the first time at the age of 10, and he eventually won her affections.

So something about him kinda flipped a switch in Mrs.Truman's decision to accept him eventually.

So yeah persistence can pay off, but it can also get you a restraining order too nowadays...it's one of those calculated risks.

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So imho, if girls really use that "rejection test" they should know that that test is immune to persistent jerks who want to get in their pants...it won't guard them from heartbreak at all.

 

I think that "continuing to pursue" is very different from "bulldozing rejection". You can keep trying to flirt with/attract the attention of someone without rolling over/invalidating their objections.

 

It's a numbers game. If you're going to get anybody, you're going to go through rejection on your way to that one.

And FYI, guys who don't take "no" for an answer are called stalkers, pervs or rapists.

 

That's up for debate in my opinion. Spacemuffins, points out that "continuing to pursue", which is a form of persistence, can be seen as either harassment or something that pays off.

I honestly say back off personally. But I just wanted to highlight that gray-line of understanding and a double-standard about it that is inconsistent from person to person.

And this ties in with "bulldozing rejection" because I hear guys all the time tell their other guy friends that it means to "at first you don't succeed, try try again" kinda mentality.

This topic is also related to how chivalry is perceived as either offensive or welcomed during flirting in general, especially true on dates. (Some girls like it and others feel your coddling them and insulting their independence)

 

I was that hottie and yeah bro I didn't know I wanted fries until you showed me. Now I can't get enough of them.

 

If at first you don't succeed, try again with somebody else.

Continuing to flirt/try to attract attention would be ok in the case of a guy with the social skills to know when it's really not unwanted. But for a guy who's talking about "bulldozing rejection", uh, NO.

 

Handling rejection is best done without being defensive. Be pragmatic, and negotiate.

In other words, a "no thanks" answer to "would you like to have a drink?" can be followed up with "maybe some other time?". If they say "ok sure", then you suggest "how about friday?". Because 80% of society is indirect, the answer will probably be "I'll let you know". That puts you into limbo, and it's then that things get tricky. It's unclear whether that's a rejection or someone flaky. You can say "I'll check with you thursday", to which they will agree "ok, sure". If it falls through, you can play this cat and mouse game after a few weeks (however, suggest theatre or coffee or beach), and if it's a similar pattern, then rejection is your answer.

 

I dunno...that cat and mouse stuff is what gets you fake phone numbers.

Because the thing is, we've already decided a few minutes after meeting a guy whether they'e a candidate for sex or not. If they are, it just depends on not ruining that, no cat and mouse needed. If not, then cat and mouse is a waste of time anyway.

 

Not from me, because I'm atypical when it comes to being direct. A man knows right away if I'm not interested, and therefore doesn't ask for a number, and hence no fake numbers are forthcoming.

Was this thread about rejection for hooking up?

 

From what I'm getting from the OP, yes.

And I seldom do fake phone numbers, either. I have no problem telling someone I'm not interested, lol. There is a certain type, though, that refuses to accept this. That's what the OP is referring to. Those are the ones who get the phone number to the zoo or the sherriff's office, at best, or glassed if they can't keep their hands to themselves.

"Bulldozing rejection": Does Not Work.

 

GTFO you troll

 

I didn't mean in a head strong way... it can work though. Watch how Sean gets seduced!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qokWy-Xszo0&feature=my_liked_videos&list=LLDDql0AsdOsLIgfFUFtXy8g"]Nip/Tuck - Sean and Christian at the university - YouTube

 

Sorry, does it upset you when I tell stories about an inability to take no for an answer? Cos isn't that the point of this thread?

Although of Vicoria wants to elaborate on her response (provide she wasnt just joking) I'd be interested.

 

You can read her posts on this thread to find Victoria elaborate on her response

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=457777&f=281

 

Um. Talking about personal limits. Not anal sex.

 

Yeah but its rare to find a girl like you that's so direct calgirl.

But you're right about that pattern thing, I've ended up doing that a few times and it's very annoying generally speaking.

This topic seemed like a number of things:

1. How to personally internalize rejection.

2. What to do about it and how that varies by situation.

3. How your actions could be interpreted nowadays by society as positive persistence versus negative persistence.

I personally used former President Truman as an example because he eventually got with the girl he pined over since age 5, after many straightforward rejections from her.

 

I remember I got slightly forceful with a girl I knew before when trying to kiss her. The thing is, I didn't know her that well, so she got a bit scared and it backfired!! Having been rejected, I had no way to take out my frustration because I don't drink.. so my head hurt for a long while

 

the best way to get over rejection is to not dwell on it. what might have i done wrong? nothing. you did the best you could. it didn't work? oh well. fuck it. get over it. remain confident.

 

The only way to look "cool" in this situation is to keep your mouth shut, shrug and walk happily away. (it's also the decent thing to do). It literally makes me cringe when I think of dudes that can't let it go and have to have the last word to preserve their "dignity". It's true that a lot of women are just plain fucking mean in the way they turn a guy down, but the obvious answer to this is "Would you really want to spend any time with another human being who took delight in trying to hurt someone's feelings?" I get this, believe me I do. Some dudes will persist if a woman shows them the least bit of consideration, even by politely saying "no, I'm not interested" - they don't get the fucking hint. I know dudes that are super aggressive and think anything short of a slap to the face or a swift kick to the testicles means "there's still a chance". Bullshit. Take "no" at face value and move on to someone else saying "yes". You can't bulldoze your way into someone's heart or vagina and expect anything but misery as a result. Have some god damned self-respect if you want anyone else to respect you.