How long has it been since you've gotten laid?

Discussion in 'Stoners Lounge' started by i_need_a_miracle, Aug 7, 2008.

  1. thisisme5

    thisisme5 Herbal enthusiast

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    I leave my drink at the bar on purpose.. Its always funner when theyre no memory :)
     
  2. jo_k_er_man

    jo_k_er_man TBD

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    Now ever since I was a young boy
    I would fall for women like you
    And even now that I'm a grown man
    I'm still in love with the tricks that you can do
    (I still love the tricks you do)
    I'm used to women think it's nasty
    That's they opinion but that ain't my point of view
    (That's just they opinion cause they ain't you)
    Some of them need to take some lessons
    And learn how to fuck like porno bitches do

    [Chorus]

    {"Devin, the Dude.."}

    [Devin the Dude:]
    When I was young I was sprung off the way women used their tongue
    I couldn't nut yet, but fuck that, it was still fun
    to look... I took... vaseline
    Even though it was thick and rubbed it on my dick
    Now I'm grown...
    ... and my bone is so well-known hoes wanna get it cloned
    Shit, ain't nothin wrong with you chunkin that monkey
    All up on me 'til the whole room's funky
    The negative thoughts, it's time to change
    Shit, you a woman, I'm a man
    It's all natural, and we're compatible
    I'll bend you over, knock you down, slap that ass a little bit
    (ohh ohh) But not to hurt
    Like after havin a full course meal, it's the dessert
    Now lay on your stomach, put a arch in your hips
    and look back so I can see all four of them lips

    [Chorus: w/ ad libs]

    {"Bizarre.."}

    [Bizarre:]
    I can on Superman drawers, I'm 6 years old
    All in my room, all alone
    I'm young, dumb, layin the pipe
    Showtime, HBO, Friday night
    Butt-naked on the couch, without no clothes
    Remote control, ready to bust a load
    And fuck Roxanne, I want Big Ann
    Tight old pants, my mother's best friend
    I watch all your movies and your DVD's
    I heard you're comin out with porno CD
    I want Janet Jacme, to smack me
    Take your bikini off, get on the bed and attack me
    I love porn, but niggaz be hatin
    R. Kelly ain't got nothin on the shit I be makin (I'm 14!)
    I'm a freak, I been that way since 7
    Me, Big Boi and Devin; bitch is 11

    [Chorus: w/ ad libs]

    {"Big Boi, from OutKast.."}

    [Big Boi:]
    I like a lady, but I sure love a slut
    The type that like to suck on my dick and let me scrub them guts
    The chick that want it doggy style while playin on my nuts
    And when you ain't above face shorty don't be tryin to duck, uh
    True Aquarian, mean I'm freaky as to fuck
    Eat that coochie for an hour after you shower cock 'em up
    From the power of the orgasm your legs are lockin up
    Caught a cramp in your thigh, can't even pull your stockings up
    But your spike leather collar plus stilletos lookin tough
    Now you're passed out on your stomach, seems though you had +Enough+
    like J-Lo in that movie where her husband beat her up (bitch!)
    Puss appears to be pregnant, swole and wet up
    Now you need to go and get up 'fore I set up some more setup
    I done caught my second wind, let's begin, lift your head up
    It's the battle of the sexes, we can do this shit 'til breakfast
    I don't want no mo' babies but I can give you a baby necklace
     
  3. teh-horace

    teh-horace for your pleasure

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    i need to be more assertive, i think.

    i met this really cool chick last night, but i don't think i'll ever see or run into her again.

    ugh. i fail.
     
  4. Thories

    Thories Member

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    Really. I have the opposite problem, a few sex opportunities, some are friends some are just people I meet up with sole purpose of sex. I would really like a girlfriends though...

    I suppose the grass is always greener...

    When It's in a bong :)
     
  5. †ù®Ké¥ š†ûƒƒïñg

    †ù®Ké¥ š†ûƒƒïñg Eminent Herbalist

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    Why everyone so worried about having sex?

    I mean shit, meaningless sex isn't all that great.

    This thread should be named " How long has it been since you LOVED."
     
  6. teh-horace

    teh-horace for your pleasure

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    shut up hippie.

    ;)
     
  7. TheMadcapSyd

    TheMadcapSyd Titanic's captain, yo!

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    lol
     
  8. †ù®Ké¥ š†ûƒƒïñg

    †ù®Ké¥ š†ûƒƒïñg Eminent Herbalist

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    lol that was post 666.



    But seriously, sex out of love is fuckin' amazing.
     
  9. wally m

    wally m 14

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    2 days and I'm worried
     
  10. Severely stoned

    Severely stoned Senior Member

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    I will take your word on that and as such I will try to loose my sorry ass virginity sober and in love rather than drunk on some random bitch.
     
  11. teh-horace

    teh-horace for your pleasure

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    i feel like this weekend bodes well for me.

    i hope i'm not jynxing myself.
     
  12. prissbaby

    prissbaby creepy

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    I think right before summer started. It's cool though.
     
  13. Ricky(dos)Martinez

    Ricky(dos)Martinez Member

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    It usually goes that way when you just have a good time and not worry about the pussy it magically appears...when you make it you mission the entire night you end up going home alone lol
     
  14. i_need_a_miracle

    i_need_a_miracle Venusian Goddess

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    There's this guy in my Psych class I want to fuck. I'm setting myself a goal... by the end of this semester, I will have had amazing sex with the lizard king reincarnated. I'm serious, y'all. This guy is a fucking Jim Morrison.
     
  15. skamikaze

    skamikaze Coffee Addict

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    I feel the same way. Good luck to us both!
     
  16. Ricky(dos)Martinez

    Ricky(dos)Martinez Member

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    wish i was in one of miracle's classes :rolleyes:
     
  17. i_need_a_miracle

    i_need_a_miracle Venusian Goddess

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    I bet you do.
     
  18. Ricky(dos)Martinez

    Ricky(dos)Martinez Member

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    Kinda glad im not prolly wouldn't get any work done in there :D
     
  19. i_need_a_miracle

    i_need_a_miracle Venusian Goddess

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    We could fuck on the teacher's desk. That's always fun. Make it a class project.
     
  20. skamikaze

    skamikaze Coffee Addict

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    group project?
     

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