How long has it been since you've gotten laid?

almost last night

...

oh, last night.

 

mmh =(

 

I demand stories. Thanks

 

last night proved to me that i'm a lonely, horny little boy. thinkin' with the small head. operating on the most basic of urges. plus alcohol. all i can really do to keep my sanity is laugh. oh the laughter.

 

sounds completely insane

 

it's whatever though. i got SOME action. though i'm going to have to live thru this for a while.

oh mans.

 

Well how was the SOME action?

 

I haven't had any in 5-6 weeks since I broke up with my old BF. Lame.

 

i emphasize some. in fact, i was on the giving end of the action-getting. the fact that i got nothing out of it only intensifies the hilarity of the issue.

suffice to say, when you haven't had ANY action at all in 12 months, and you combine that with pure alcoholic exhibition, you're more opt to being quite expressive.

like taking all of your clothes off hoping that'll goad a more satisfying response.

"impressive...but i can't."

oh what a night.

 

You're a fine man Horace, pleasin' a lady without getting any in return, especially if you completely naked. Awesome

 

oh, trust me, don't let me make it sound like i didn't try.

that's all i did.

try, try, try, fail.

now i get to wait for the news to travel and the phones to ring.

i guess i haven't emphasized the main point of the story.

not necessarily the what, but the who.

oh, the who.

 

Was it a dude?

 

I just just just had sex a few minutes ago, and it got too rough, and I can totally handle myself when things get rough, I thrive. But not my girl and I said "honey, are you sure you want it that hard?" and she screamed, which I thought meant "Yes, dear" but I musta been wrong because now she is mad at me because I was too rough with her and now she's sore and sulky. Stupid women.

 

HORACE! It was totally a dude, wasn't it? If so, did you like it? And that's awesome.

 

haha, no.

it's that one person that is close to our "crew" (by that i mean knows everybody we know and hangs out with the "fringe members") who everybody finds repulsively annoying.

it's a sad thing, sometimes people take it too far. she's not that bad, but she's one of those you can only handle in small doses.

i took my dose and ran with it.

oh boy.

 

also, vagina still tastes the same as it did a year ago.

 

Ah, bummer. I was really excited to hear that you are now bisexual haha. I don't know why that would excite me, but it would. Also, glad that vaginas still taste the same, I do love the taste of a woman.

 

you know, upon further pondering, i fear this could be detrimental to my social health.

 

Ugh! I haven;t had sex in like 6 weeks now and it's actually starting to bother me. I feel sexually charged and I need someone to go completely crazy with to release it. That worries me. I'm pretty serious though. Haha someone told me jacking off is like a band-aid. It's only a temporary fix.

Craigslist is too scary. Who knows where those people have been. But I might just do it anyway. The problem is STD's. People can SAY one thing but you never really know. Damn diseases. I miss my BF. And I hate condoms.

I, uh, don't really know what to do. I have been talking to a guy on myspace for a bit. He's pretty cool but has completely disappeared. I have no idea what happened to him. =(. Damn hormones!!

 

Well if your lookin for people on craigslist and myspace you might get some action..


If you define action as getting raped by a 40 year old man with std's action