How is the person above of you gonna die?

hungry pigeons

 

Spatula misuse and abuse

 

Murdered for knowing someone all too well

 

Starves to death waiting for someone to market a really good tasting cheeto soup.

 

Mmmm..."cheeto soup"!!!

While treasure hunting gets side tracked by a beautiful naked woman named zouzoubethany (Favorite meal = Meat...Human meat)

 

Cancer

 

Falling Tree, above & behind her in pic.....

 

by impaling ala cannibal holocaust.

 

locked in the trunk of a hooker's car






(well . . .the pimp's car)

 

attacked by cat wasted on too much catnip

 

From a rare poisonous butterfly sting

 

taking the near life expieriance a little too far while skydiving

 

Attacked by Killer Tomatoes!

 

Laughed until his heart popped

 

from getting raped in prison

 

After eating at a local greasy spoon, TruInfini decides to take the "nature walk" route home. Now, he has walked this way 1000 times at least, but still manages to get turned around and lost. After about a 3 hours (normally a 15 minute) walk, he sees a highway, and sure enough, first car to drive by is a sheriff. At this point, the sun has gone down, so TruInfini has no reference to know the sheriff is driving him east instead of south, back to to town. After about 20 minutes, the sheriff (his name is Ezekiel) turns down a dirt road, claiming a short cut. about 27 minutes later they drive into what can only be called a "dead end". Was Kinda like a "Cul-de-sac" with mountains of old stoves and refrigerators lining the edges. At this point, the cop just stops and says nothing. Tru (as his friends call him) has been edgy for a while, but now is just creeped out. He starts out just a little rattled when he asks "Why are we stopping,dude?" But because the sheriff refuses to look at him or even speak, every repitition gets higher in pitch and more frantic.
He soon gets to a shrill squeel as he chants "why did we stop, why did we stop?" over and over llike a mantra.
At this point, he can see headlights shining from behind, illuminating the walls of discarded kitchen appliances, so he looks back over his shoulder. At first, he cannot tell what they belong to, but as they arrive, one set angles left to block retreat to the left, the other set angles off to the right to completely block any hope of a sheriffs car leaving without a fight.
As Tru turns to the cop to "WTF" him, he notices the cop is balling his eyes out.
Now Tru gets really scared.
As if cued by his panic, both of the vehicals behind him start blaring their horns in unison, 3 quick blasts, a pause , then 2 long blows, repeat.
Over and Over and Over and Over ..........
Finally Tru unfreezes and gets "WHAT THE FUCK" out at the top of his lungs.
The crying sheriff, just looks at him through tear staind eyes (Tru had not noticed the cop was wearing eyeliner and mascara, but it was obiously running down his face now), and began honking in rythm with the bus and towtruck parked behind them.
( did I leave that out? yeah the vehicals blocking escape were this short school bus just oozing rust, and one of them 1970's style tow trucks completely caked in mud, except for windshield wiper shaped mostly clear spots on the windshield).
At this point, Tru thinks "oh my God, I am gonna shit myself!!!"
But he doesnt....yet!
As Tru goes eyes forward he notices all the fridge and oven doors opening.
THERE ARE EYES LOOKING OUT FROM ALL OF THEM!!!!!!
At this point TRu just flips the fuck out and smashes out the winder of the sheriffs cruiser with his forhead. Well first few tries were with the forhead, but after 3 volleys, he finally broke through by leading with his nose.
"I just gotta get outta here" He thought Frantically.
after climbing through the shattered glass opening, he picks up a discarded muffler, and brandishes it as a weapon, just hopng to take some of these freeks out with him as he goes.
The trouble is, tha muffler had a fire ant colony in it, and after like 14 seconds, he started getting eaten alive.
This was the last bit that Tru could take. He just drops the crude weapon and bolts...."BAM!!!!!" right into the rear viww mirror on the passenger side of the bus, breaking his neck.
Death was almost instant.
At this point, all the shining eyes from the people climbing out of the stoves and coolers and the drivers of the three vehicals step out and yell "Happy 21st Birthday Tru!!!!" Floodlights kick on illuminating the sheriff and Tru's mom coming out with a birthday cake.
Then somebody looks over and notices Tru's bladder and bowels had released, and he was, in fact, dead.

Allergy to white rice

 

by choking while sucking a dick

 

Anally Inflicted Death Sentence.

 

Who could beat that crummy?!? :cheers:

Crummy dies from a freak computer explosion

 

eaten alive by aliens hiding under her bra... :-0