How Do You Encourage Someone To Work?

I didn't know there are magazines about this. Any names of magazines that you know of?

 

Most people of his ethnicity have rapping as their hobby, and aspire to become rappers. It's a thing, but every ethnicity and race has their thing.

 

Again, that works for children, not adults.

You can't treat children like adults nor adults like children.

 

Actually, I've been listening to a few suggestions that were given on here. I'm just not listening to yours, because I don't agree with it.

 

My advice is roughly the same. If he leeches of other people like a little kid maybe treat him like one. And I don't mean by supporting his primary needs, but by letting him learn by experience. What he is learning now is that he can live his life by letting other people do the providing, even though it bothers everyone (well it doesn't seem to bother him enough Maybe he's just saying that)

 

So while you're all "supporting"him,whats his motivation for finding a job for himself?What are your long term plans for this guy?Do you intend to live in a place of your own one day?Travel?Buy stuff for your own place?Raise some kids?Without him,or both of you working,you're gonna hit struggle street! Think about all the thousands of hard working guys out there,who could be suitable for you,and then look at your guy! Tbh I could'nt and would'nt tolerate it.I think alot of us would rather not work,we all have day dreams of quitting jobs,and doing whatever we'd like to do,but the reality is,either way,you need money.Life can be pretty boring without it! Is that what you both want?A boring life?

 

It is for the garden and yes it's shit.

 

I'm going to go with the trucker route when speaking to him, alongside some other suggestions that were given on here, but I'll throw it making his own business and working for himself. It's just really hard when you have no ideas to start with. I always figured that people who start their own business have an idea already, or a skill set. For example, I really enjoy making household decor and skincare. Some people who have been gifted my household decor or has tried my skincare really enjoy it. So, I can open a Etsy shop and sell my stuff, because I already have a skill set, an idea. However, all he does is play games, watch TV, shows, movies. So, it's hard to know what his skill set is from that. And no, he isn't a bad guy because of that. I'm just saying it's hard to know his skill set, or what he is interested in... in order to get business ideas, if all he does is that. Like I said, there is rapping. And I have made suggestions about that. But, he didn't really consider it. And I get that. It's a lot harder to make your own business than to get a job/career in a business that is already established.

 

I have suggested that already as well.

 

How would he respond to doing voluntary work (of his choice) for like half a day a week?

 

Say, do have room for several of us here that don't want to work? It's just too hard to work and we need a nice warm place to ---well-- play video games , eat and stuff. Preferably a place where we won't be bothered by meddling fools that think everyone should pull their weight, whatever that means.



Ok. Sarcasm over. I've seen them all. One shows up. works an hour--goes to take a piss. Gone. Another one (of MANY) shows up stands around --never shows up again. On and on and on over the years. Or I ask a young man in passing if they need a job at the actual unemployment office---"naw. I'm gonna' draw this claim out." Rather live on unemployment check that learn a trade and get a STEADY JOB. I've worked in many types of jobs in my youth and I can tell a man who can work--and WILL work--in about 10 minutes. What you have there is a man with a basic, learned character flaw and was not taught that to get--you must give. He is hooked up backwards--he will take and others must give.
One either understands that or not and will act accordingly. There are many, many working men out there that would give you and yours respect enough to progress beyond a childs idea of how to live. BUT--carry on if it's convenient for you.

 

If his pride to take care of himself won't get him off the couch, nothing you say will help. I think the military is a horrible choice for him, that takes dedication honor and pride and it sounds like he has none of those qualities. It sounds to me you're looking for excuses not suggestions because some good ones were made imo.

 

You haven't listened to anyone! Or you would have kicked him out by now..glad he is your free loader! Saves some other mug putting up with him!

 

To add: Yes, it's a fucked , rigged system we're in these days. However one must do SOMETHING responsibly for themselves. Hell, walk around the area with a lawnmower and mow peoples lawns for some money. Of course that might interfere with the important "stuff" he does.

 

Have you had kids? No disrespect intended! But men are always boys!
You treat them how they deserve, man or child, believe me, your happy doing it anyway, so why bother asking?

 

I will answer the rest of the posts later. I

He isn't my boyfriend. I'm actually talking about my sister's husband. My ex boyfriend didn't want to work either, though. But, I'm not with him anymore, so... Anyways, my sister is not going to leave him. And none of us are going to start treating him like a child to make him learn a lesson. That's just not going to happen. So, no to those suggestions. I'm sure it works for other people, but in this situation it's just not an option.

 

Then your situation seems hopeless.

 

He doesn't show any signs or symptoms to make me think he has something medically wrong. Also, he does go to the doctor quite often because he thinks he has something, but nothing comes up. I do think he is depressed, though. And I think due to that, he gets things, like rashes and things like that. I also think he has an addictive personality, considering he doesn't do well with drinking and smoking. As for bad experiences at work, just regular stuff. Wanting a raise, not getting it, being overworked, and just regular stuff, I think. He is sensitive, so he would often come home telling stories of how a coworker or his boss upset him in some way.

 

I totally agree. He has gotten way too comfortable, but a lot of people are suffering because of his comfort. So, I'm trying to figure out how to fix this.