How Do I Turn On A Guy When Im Drunk?

Depends in what context. In what context do you want to know what I am?

 

you mean you try to be an asshole, but people take it as being nice? that must be so frustrating for you

 

^ it can be tough.

the same context in which you asked me i suppose.

 

Well, currently I'm the girl that wore ankle pants on a day that is rainy and chilly. Yes, I'm that girl. Oh, how I am that girl. Maybe I'll try to pair it with ankle boots, see if that will keep me warm. :unsure:

Anyho, I'm just a human female. You know how that goes. I'm sure you met my kind before.

 

i think i've observed human females from a distance, once or twice.

 

From a distance? Come on, now... don't be modest. You know you got closer to us than that. Share the juicy details.

 

A person who gets very drunk then goes looking for sex has serious personal problems. My friends and I always avoided the sloppy drunk broad.

 

i know that, but she doesn't. :unsure:

 

You have a way with the ladies, don't you? You sexy man beast, you. You sound like the kind of guy that hides in the bushes naked and then suddenly jumps out at a woman walking by. We all love men like that.

 

i don't jump out. i'm that strange rustling noise you hear from the bushes but never quite identify.

 

You know what I think you are, Undies? The person who screwed up my laptop. Now, I'm forced to go on here using my cellphone. My cellphone!
Everything is so tiny in comparison.

 

in my experience, laptops are screwed up by default. granted, i only have a significant amount of experience with one laptop, but it was really screwed up when i inherited it and never got much better.

cellphone posting is kind of a pain. it's nice that it's an option, but typing more than a two sentence reply takes forever.

 

Auto-correct is a son of a biscuit on cellphones.

My laptop is still not working. I'm getting scared. I think I gone and done it now. I really killed it this time.

On other news, I just got this cellphone in the begining of this month. First one I have had in years and now my laptop is spazzing out. Maybe it was a sign from tech heaven to keep me connected to the interwebs so I can catfish people and whatnot.

 

Are you sure that they were female humans? I have seen what I first took to be female humans just to find out that they were female dorks.

 

i can't say i performed all the scientific testing to verify it...

 

At this stage of my life, I would not want to be drunk and have sex with some random guy. I want to be able to enjoy myself. I have had drunk sex, when I was in my 20's...can't remember it though!

A few glasses of wine, different story!

 

What are 'Human Dorks?'

 

Oh. I learned something new today.