How did you discretely find a like minded parter?

Lucky you in finding those that are receptive. I'm more gender fluid, in that, I can be male dominate or female submissive, depending on the situation. I prefer the later, but realize at an old age you have to be willing to do what is required.

 

Yes it is difficult to find the right person who will fit in to your agenda, but when you do it's so intense that it's difficult for me to be content with doing what is required. It's nice to meet you.

 

Having lunch at my usual diner and wearing a rock band t shirt, the waitress said her husband likes that band too. Turns out we both had tickets to see them the following month. She gave me their number, figured we could share the drive, which worked out great.

Before the concert I called, we talked about various bands, we had a lot in common beyond music. We met at a bar for a couple beers, eventually the conversation turned sexual in nature including porn and how his wife didn't understand or have a great interest in sex.

We got together to watch porn, but we were both thinking the same thing. Maybe porn leads to us pulling our cocks out to masturbate, maybe stroke each other, and maybe blow jobs.

Months later he and I go to lunch and see his wife before heading back to my place for porn and a good time.

 

It’s hard for me to find a discrete partner . It’s hard to get out and hit the pubs and bars being married. Abs I used to visit isn’t a place to meet a partner . That’s why i don’t go there anymore. Anybody from the San Gabriel valley looking for a partner?

 

I once asked thepapasmurph if he's not willing to interview guys for the FWB position, what is he really doing? I mentioned that a FWB isn't going to just drop into your lap and I've told others that, sorry - Amazon Prime does not deliver FWBs - if you want one, you gotta get off your ass and go find one and if that means you have to suck a bunch of dicks to find him, at the very least, you got to have sex. If you don't use any apps, don't use any websites, don't go to places where men tend to hang out like a bar, pub, whatever, how can you expect to discretely do anything? Seriously, you still can't get something for nothing...

 

That's hitting the proverbial nail on the head @thepapasmurph (that deserved more than just a "like").

 

Couldn't have said it better myself. As the papasmurph learned, there's nothing wrong with Mr. Right Now if you're smart about things and if you don't have a lot of experience, you get to get some and that can only bring great value to the table when you eventually meet your Mr. Right.

 

In general I wouldn't recommend a bathhouse or gay sex club as the IDEAL method, certainly not if you're looking for Mr. Right or even Mr. Right Now. But if you live in or near a large city there's definitely lots of anonymous sex opportunities in them, and a visit can be quite a bit of fun. Of course there is the STI issue. I was very fortunate never to have gotten an STD in the 20 years that I visited all these anonymous sex venues 1995-2013, sucking over 200 cocks and getting sucked.

But when I finally transitioned into having strong desires for this guy's ass in a bathhouse this one time and finally lost my gay virginity (as a top), the gay side of myself came out much more strongly and I loved it. I stopped all this anonymous sex and started using squirt.org in my Niagara area on the Canadian side to chat with and eventually get together with guys in each other's homes, and that was way way better and my gay side started growing and I loved it. In this area at least squirt works, but it is also hit and miss. I've tried others that people above already mentioned, but I've had the best luck with squirt. And squirt is also famous for all the gay cruising places throughout the world, including I bet your hometown.

However it was all still just physical/sexual for me, not romantic: I had just added bum cheeks, asshole, wonderful penetration, and French kissing to the menu of cock, cock, and more cock. But I still wasn't able to manage getting an FWB, or even a second time with the same guy--that is, not until I got together with yet another guy using squirt, who had the most incredible cock that I've ever made love to, 9 inches of perfection (not the biggest cock I've sucked, but I eventually was able to deepthroat him, unlike the 12 inch man's-lower-arm-thick cock I played with in a bathhouse years before--on two separate occasions!). My new friend and I had multiple get-togethers, we had dinner dates, he cooked for me, we snuggled together on the sofa watching TV, etc. He was such a super nice guy and our conversations were awesome. I liked him so much, body and heart. But he was gay and wanted more, and I just didn't have romantic feelings for him, or for any man up to that point. So that awesome relationship didn't work out. But to this day I still think about him a lot, and how much I enjoyed feasting on his cock and asshole. If only I had met him any time 2020 onwards, after breaking up with my girlfriend and when my gay desires exploded, to the point where I've had powerful romantic feelings for two guys in the last two years. Yes, baby, I'm finally ready!

One I met through Buddhism, but he's straight. However the other one I met through the large Facebook group for Gay Men in Niagara. They have meetups & events on a regular basis, and I just stumbled upon their existence one day just over a year ago, and immediately joined, and have been getting together with the guys once or twice a week on an ongoing basis since joining--in cafés, bars and restaurants for just chitchat. On one of the days every week, 15-25 guys come, most the same regular group of guys, and others pop in from time to time or are brand new. Even as a technically bi guy, though becoming more and more gay week by week, they accept me. They are an absolutely great bunch of guys, and I could see myself as an FWB with any one of 90% of them. Unfortunately most are partnered up (often the couples come together to the meetups). So in my particular case it's not working out quite as well as I very excitedly expecting, but I keep trying. As the Wise Ones have said above, if you don't put yourself out there, you'll never find that special suck or fuck buddy.

I have romantic (and sexual) crushes on two of the guys, but they're both half my age, and one comes with his partner. Several of the guys in this group have expressed wanting to hook up with me, but they all have partners or husbands, and I only date single guys. That brings me to the other crush, the one I originally mentioned, and he's single, working on his PhD in genetics, is super cute, has the most delicious body, has a kind heart that is helpful to others, is very smart about so many different things, but I'm too old for him (61 to his 30). I've never wanted to fuck anyone since that first perfect ass I made love to 10 years ago (exactly to the day) as much as I want to fuck--make love--to this guy.

So I'm going to continue meeting up with this amazing group of guys, not only because I like them so much, but because I am desperate for at least a regular fuck buddy, if not more, and they're my best shot I believe. Because I now know that, despite still loving and having strong desire for women's bodies, women are just not working out for me and I've totally lost interest: I now know that my cock (and eventually my ass) was made for men. Yes, I loved and was good at pussy licking, especially after my last girlfriend trained me for her multiple orgasmic one), but I don't worship pussy. In my opinion, cock is the most beautiful thing in the universe and is truly worthy of worshipping, something that women in general are incapable of. Cock is made to be worshipped by us wisest of men. Can you give me a: Amen to that!

So ideally if you could find a nonsexual group like this, or a gay bowling league or something, where you can socialize with men who love having sex with other men, even if you're bi and they're gay, then it's a way better way IMHO to find a FWB or suck/fuck buddy to regularly get together with. Usually guys will respect your boundaries, so if you're not into kissing, for example, you just tell them. But the different hookup apps and websites can work too, though it takes effort and patience: hits & misses, no-shows, not wanting the same thing, etc. is common. But for me anyway, it's all worth it, because when I'm naked in the arms of another guy now, I finally feel that's where I've always wanted to be.

 

Once again you nailed it. Great Post.

 

At the end of any day, it all comes down to what your definition of like-minded is and if you're willing to put in the work to find out if he's partner material.

 

I’m a bicurious married guy and I’ve never done anything with a guy. But lately all my sexual fantasies have been trending more gay. I’d love to find a steady FWB to explore my homoerotic desires with, but not sure how to go about it. I’m intimidated by the thought of joining Grindr. Would love to just meet a guy organically.

 

Squirt.org
Craigslist

 

.

 

Sniffies.com is great also

 

Most on there tend to be more interested in right now encounters, more than actual FWB. At least from those near me anyways?
But it was in a way reassuring, that there are plenty of other guys with bi interests and I am far from being alone. Even several within walking distance!

 

.

 

One of those sites for bi hookups. I was hit on by couples wanting some bi cock to join them.. I was a bit of a failure. Some older women from time to time, and then found a friendly horny local guy. We could only pull each other in our cars. We then found an older bi living alone who sucked cocks like there were no tomorrow. Bingo.

 

i really miss Craigslist singles. they got rid of it because of SESTA/FOSTA, a horrible bill.