Hence the name CHILD SUPPORT

No that is not what I am saying.

Those the play the system to gain for themselves instead of their children are not in my opinion looking out for the best interest of their children.

There are people who when it comes to money are not fair nor are they reasonable.

Child or spousal support is not for life and those that tend to seem to have the largest issue (other than flat out nonpaymet as court ordered) seem to think that it is a life long pay as you go for the other ex spouse.

My statement was not for those that ask for the legally required amount and also support their own children. In that situation anyone who does not pay what they should, should be held accountable to the last penny. Child support is for the child.

I am talking about the parent who does not worry about their child and instead would spend that money on what they wanted and not concern themselves about if that child is looked after. There are many who do so. Sadly there are.

 

As a custodial parent (since they were 3 and 6, they are now 18 and 21) I have to tell you that I;m sure those type of people exist someplace, somehow.

But I also think it is total shit for you to bring that up, especially since on the surface you seem to be throwing these "facts" at Fontella.

My kids never spent a hungry day in their lives and never wanted for anything. They were not spoiled, but they had much more than a lot of kids and certainly more than I as a child.

Oh wait, is this about us drunken, drug abusing, gun-toting Americans?

 

I guess being in the situations i've been in and seeing my friends in the same situations or worse, i just can't generalize

I feel like people who have not dealt with it directly (child rearing) can be a little pollyanna in their expections. Each situation should be dealt with individually.

Example: I've got a friend that is raising two kids alone (different dads). she works and receives no child support from either father. Her daughter's father has always been there and helping raise the girl so there was never any need for ordered support. Now the son's father....he's a peice of work. Poor woman, she is just so damn meek. Her son is 9, the dad has always known about the boy but only gives gifts to him on birthday and christmas...good gifts but just gifts. He manages at least two successful R&B artists that I know of, drives a Mercedes, owns a house and is having another built. He is big time (he just took his other son to the BET awards to be on the red carpet with him). He doesn't pay regular support simply because he knows she won't push (she really is a sweethart of a person). That asshole deserves what he gets. She's better than me cause I'd hit him in court, get my back pay and take myself and BOTH my kids on a killer shopping spree. Point is, she has given up stuff over the years to provide for her son when he chose to act like the boy doesn't eat everyday. He owes current support for the boy but he also owes HER. She provided when he did not so she would be completely justified in spending some of that money on something she wants

its a case by case thing, generalization don't fit an issue as complicated as child support......no matter what side of it you are talking about

 

Someone's being silly... thank Goodness... *c*

 

My apology if you think I was directing anything I said at the original poster. I was not. I personally think that she is raising her children with love and support and doing a great job. I read her posts and giggle about her children as I think they are being raised with love. In the end being raised with love is the factor that will make us all caring and rounded human beings.

I disagree with you that there are not those parents out there who feel that their kids are a meal ticket. Period. Those are the same parents who are just plain nasty and feel that there should be no life after divorce or seperation, for the other party of course.

I am also seperated and divorced. My child support I have never once touched in the three years it has been deposited as I do not need to as I am also a professional with a salary that supports us. His was greater so he does pay support, I did not ask for it instead he offered it. I am thankful and it is saved FOR THEM. It has been banked from day one for my children later in life when they may just need it....if they do not then it is still banked for them and will be handed to them when they are responsible enough to not piss it away. Their father worked for that money and I would not like to see it pissed away.

Your issue with me is not reasonable. Perhaps you should look to more than the surface and instead have read that I was stating that some parents do not give a shit.

I have no issue with Ms. F. I actually think she is one of the few on here with her shit together.

I am really glad to read about what you have done for your kids.....I mean that with total honesty. I just wish that more parents (either sex) would do the same for their kids. Sadly that is not always the case and the kids suffer and pay for adults who can not grow up and let go of the hurt of a realationship just not working out between grown ups. Instead it becomes a game of how can I make it more miserable, more court time, drag it out. Make it that they do not have a life that is anywhere near normal because there is someone who is waiting to put the screws to you. I did not personally go through that but many people that I have known have. It is a mind set, pay for life as I think you are happy and I am not. Sad,

That was what the statement I made was all about. Not any one poster.

Thank you for your thoughts though, and I hope that mine are now clearer. Perhaps I did not type well.

 

I read some of the other posts you put on here. I do know what you are saying.

There are those that do not play fair.....and that can be either gender. It happens.

In the case where an Ex feels they should be able to dictate how each penny is spent....that is bullshit and I call it.

If you as the parent use that checque that pay for the outing, holiday, lunches and use yours a week later to pay the rent, new shoes, new shorts for the summer.........suck it up to the parent who pays as long as the child is fed, clothed and sheltered.

Ms. F. You are raising good little monsters, like most of us. I meant no disrespect to you or yours and I hope that it did not appear that way.

If it did my apology.

Heat

 

I wasn't in the least offended. I, too, pay attention to posts which is why I just asked to clarify. Now that you have clarified (sp), I get what you are saying

I appreciate the compliments...I rarely get them. Just know that the high opinion is returned

 

erhhhm spelling is for ugly girls

 

Your babies will be ok as they have you. It is that simple and that complicated in life.

If a child is raised with love and without expectations as in those that are imposed by an adult.....they will exceed.

You are doing good....take that and run to the bank. We only do the best we can. I think you do so.

Look forward to reading about what your monsters do next so that I can laugh about my own....

You are doing great and raising little monsters that will be fine!

Love and light and may you and your babies be where you need to be.

Heather

 

AHAHAHAHA. i'm always saying that "blending in" is for other people.

 

Yeah, lynsey...Cause you know I'm fucking obnoxiously hideous!

 

Of course, everyone knows stupid girls are easier to talk into the sack.
You advertising?

/jk

 

^No, you're not