help i cant get aroused

Ok, I live in California and here anyone can see any kind of doctor they want so I guess I really don't know about that way that things work in England. There has to be some type of therapy though that doesn't take years to get into. Some hotline you can call or non refferal agency you can go through. If it is important to you to try and enjoy sex then there has to be a way for you to get some help. A private practice sex therapist or something. Also, and you don't have to answer this if it is too personal, have you been molested or sexually abused in the past? If so that very likely is the cause of your current issues and that should get you into a therapy situation without any wait.

 

nah but still better access than up here tho, as far as us lot in the north is concerned you are near to london and that makes everything so much easier than here, simple as that

 

Whatever I give up. Essex is a lower class vacation town that shouldn't have been built. If you think that london has all the good shrinks go to london. If it was important to you nothing would make you give up

 

yeah give up while you can because for the rest of you across the world essex is NOT a town, its a county just north east of london within a 20 min drive of the city center , where as i live 300 miles north of london and simply cant afford the trip there on what would end up being a weekly event and taking the best part of 2 days a week to do, i dont think that is unreasonable do you? fo rme wanting somewhere nearer to my home

 

I think it's a lot simpler than seeing a shrink, but more complicated than you just being 'rigid', I also think that you need to examine what you learned and were taught about sex growing up and figure out if and why you have been desensitized (for lack of better terms)to the subject.
I honestly don't believe that it's a physical issue for you, but spiritual/psychological...do you recall EVER being aroused/turned on by anything at all?! even slightly?!
do you watch porn at all? how does it make you feel?

 

watching porn make me burst into tears andmakes me feel useless, aroused/turned on? i dont know thats the point of this thread isnt it? so if i dont know what its like then why would i ask about it even if it happened a tiny little bit, which it doesnt happen to me ever

 

perhaps you need to change your negative attitude


I find it hard to believe you've never been aroused in your life by anything at all...maybe you've supressed those feelings for whatever reason....
a shrink may just be what you need after all

 

yeah, just tell how do you do that without something postitive happening then?

 

well come on think why would you find it hard to believe, surely thats the pint of asking on here then isnt it?

 

having the desire to change would be a good start, by embracing good feelings and thoughts and switching focus to something positive when you do have a negative feeling or thought.....not just about sex, but life in general.....change your attitude and the rest will naturally happen

 

sorry i dont understand, i want to feel something surely thats havingthe desire for change?

 

still being rather negative about it though, i understand it must be frustrating but, you're so focused on what's not happening that it continues to manifest as such...focus on what it may feel like to be aroused and visualize yourself aroused (even if you don't know what exactly bein aroused is...) touch yourself, experiment alone, do whatever but stop focusing on whats NOT happening and start visualizing the way you want it to be.

a few self help books may do you a world of good in changing your attitudes toward life...im sorry but i picture you as debbie downer from snl

 

god thats like asking a blind man to give you directions to a town hes never been to!!!! i do all the experimenting i can and get now where for thelast 4 yrs, so yes its frustrating hence why you lot get the bombardment of questions from me as all i can think is that i must be doing something wrong. oh and who the hell is that person your on about?

 

it's your attitude, plain and simple.
I imagine this misery isnt just in your sex life(or lack of)...

 

oh well good thing we more than likely will never meet then as you are so wrong about me

 

I hope I am wrong about you, but as far as I can see you have shit all over everyone's advice in this thread...

go drop some E, smoke a joint and then watch a porno, let us know how it goes

 

life aint worth living if you got to do that shit just to make it worth while for you!

 

some may say life ain't worth living without good sex either

 

hahaha we aint going down that route are we? thats why im here asking stuff

 

LIFE is worth living(as long as you're living for you), and if you're not going to make the best of it and enjoy it, then you're not really living.

Don't knock it till ya try it, E may be your gateway to heavenly sex!