help i cant get aroused

I think you need a shrink. I think its mental.

 

Sounds like that is all your problem, to me. I am not being mean, I just think you are nto in touch with your sexuality at all. I am speaking from experience, because it took me awhile to find my sexuality, for my own reasons. Can you take a holiday and go somewhere and chill and try new things?

 

to be honest with you i dont realy have a clue what sexuality means

 

cant go on holiday as we have no money, and certainly wont go alone

 

Bottom line: If you don't love you, you won't let anyone else fully love you. And if you don't find you sexy, you won't let anyone else find you sexy.

Define sexy in your mind, become that, and it will all come back to you.

I just saved you $125/hour.

 

ok then so what is sexy? define it

 

Confidence. Go into sex like your going to have fun, but you have to be sure of it. Who knows, it may be more fun then you think.

 

oh god thats a big thing and out the question for me to go into something and know that i am doing it purely for him etc etc its hard work not fun

 

i have no confidence in what im doing at all, i cant even do one half the normal things that you ot take for granted, and when i try it goes wrong so many times thats not fun in my book,

 

Have you ever tried to get it on with another woman? Maybe two? She or they might turn you on. Maybe you are d.c.

 

no i havent and im not interested at all in trying either thanks

 

While I feel badly for the problems you and your husband are having and it is a step in the right direction that you are looking for help it really seems as though you don't want help at all. You have an excuse for everything. Like some of the other posters I think it probably is a mental issue and you would be wise to look into some therapy, both solo and with your husband. If they haven't found anything physically wrong then that should be the logical next step. Otherwise have a glass or two of wine and try reading an erotic story or popping in a porno and tell your husband to go slowly and be romantic and see what happens.

 

look its not that i have an excuse, its just shere frustration ok that i have posted things on here about topics we have tried and met failure with on every time, trouble is people come on here and post after reading what seems at best the last 2, maybe 3 coments and then offer advice which although i am grateful for the time taken to write about, they obviously havent read the thread at all, so it comes over as im being dissmissive all the time.

ok excuse time then!! we have tried the porn route, it makes me cry thats all, it doesnt do a thing for me , niether does the vino, i tell him to be slow etc but that makes no differnece either, god, how slow do you want the man to go, are we talking weeks slow or what?

 

Why don't you go to the shrink then?

 

Indeed. Swallow your pride and get fixed. Move on. No reason to sit in misery when there are options.

 

because here in the uk its not as easy as you llot think, here it could take yrs just to get past the doctors before getting sent to see anyone, believe me i have been thr it once before to get past around from one doctor to another on a 3 month rotation and have to start from scratch each time. we never got past the name address and whats wrong stage after seeing them for 2 yrs!!!

 

I hate to say this but apparently there isn't an answer. Nevertheless, I wish you good luck.

 

I'm from the uk. Both my uncles are seeing shrinks, it only took them a few weeks to get in. You are making excuses.

 

well there need must be greater than mine or you live somewhere such as london or one of the other big cities as where i live in the north east i can asure you you cant see anyone "just" like that, so no its no excuses its the truth where i live

 

Essex, hardly a upperclass area.