i just got back from the candle light vigil at the schools football field and i think it was the most beautiful thing ive ever seen. so many people came to support matt's family and friends. even people who have never talked to him showed up. we all held white candles and shared our pain. there was music playing which made it harder to be there. matt's older sister was there (his parents arent ready yet) and seeing her just broke my heart. she was the one who found his body and i think for her to be out there tonight was.....just right. at about 7:30 all the lights around the field went out and all i could see were hands holding white candles. it was beautiful. when we first got there people were handing out small pieces of paper with a passage on it and we read it all together with the lights out. then we gathered in a huge circle and sang "lean on me." in the middle of the circle was a table with 3 pictures of matt and candles. we all shared our stories of matt and cried together. i feel really good about everyone coming out tonight for matt but then again its like wow im never going to see him again and i never even got the chance to say goodbye.
That seriously brought tears to my eyes. I wish I could have been there, because for some reason even though I don't know him, I feel your pain.
i know it's hard to deal, but you'll get through it. sayin goodbye is always the trouble and to be taken away so unexpectedly that you didn't see it coming is also hard! i wish you the best. i'm sorry about your loss. lots and lots of *HUGS*
i'm really sorry about what happened to your friend. you sound like really strong girl though. it's good to see that people have friends like you. good luck and i hope you feel better soon sweetie <3 my heart goes out to you.
im watching the news and they were just talking about matt. the principal was talking and then they switched to a clip from the candle light vigil. this is so sad and it all seems unreal. ive been sitting here playing "lean on me" for 2 hours straight and ive been crying since yesterday. the news people said that they dont know a cause of death yet. thats what school keeps saying. we all know what happened and i must face the truth although it may be the hardest thing i have to do. the sad thing about this was that matt was "celebrating." he was on probation for a while and had just passed his drug test. his way of celebrating was coke and oxycotin. i keep thinking what was the last clear thought in his mind and did he know what he was doing. i keep saying to myself "please come back." but i no deep down that he never will
from one of the songs they played at the vigil For the life of me I cannot remember What made us think that we were wise and We'd never compromise For the life of me I cannot believe We'd ever die for these sins We were merely freshmen We were merely freshmen
Hang in there. Try to stay strong for those around you. I send you my prayers and warmest thoughts for healing. He was meant to go now, I feel, though I cannot say that is a fact, just my belief. When an 8 year old girl I know died of Leukemia, a friend said to me, "God just couldn't stand one more moment without her." Love Ken
I am very sorry for your loss. What you told about the gathering with candles really touched me. I could say "I really know how you feel" but that would be a lie, I don't know how it feels to have lost a friend. I do remember the day a schoolleader commited suicide, a dreadfull silence in all the school, people wandering about, staring with empty eyes, sitting down to cry, some even being 'cool' to cover up their emotions. Sittingthere, your brain racing but you can't grasp the thoughts. Staring out of the window in silence, and seeing people arriving to school who haven't heard it yet, smiles on their faces, and you know that within minutes those smiles will be gone.... My heart goes out to you. Please don't let this tear you down. Are you healing, or.....do you feel like there's 'a scar on your soul'......?
You are handling this beautifully. It's important to cry and share your feelings and grieve. Thank you for being so open and honest about your feelings. You are a beautiful soul. When my Uncle passed away last month I cried and cried and was so sad because I never got to say goodbye. I thought how upset I was because I never thought that my wedding was the last time I would see him. But then I realized how happy I was that I got that chance to see him then because most of my relatives are on the east coast and I am on the west and he was my only uncle that made it to my wedding. If he hadn't then it would have been almost 2 years since I'd seen him. I felt really blessed because I got to see him when he was truly alive and happy. I'm sure your friend Matt knows you care and maybe he is in a better place now.
((( HUGS ))) Nothing can be said to ease the loss of one so young. Here at Texas A&M we had the Bonfire memorial on the 5th anniversary of the collapse. 18 November 1999, we lost 12 great young people. Time does heal. peace, bob
thank you all for your words but this just gets harder everyday. i cannot picture going to school on monday and not seeing matt. i dont think im ever going to get used to this. i just wish he would come back
im really sorry. i feel your pain. Sadly this wont be the last. i lost 5 people in my years of high school, drug overdoses, suicide, or drunk driving.its hard and over the years the memories fade. you really seem to have alot of strengh, i know you'll get through it.
i just found out his wake is on monday. im going with my best friend. i had practice yesterday at 5 and i just didnt want to be there. my friend julia and i are the only ones on the team who knew might personally and we couldnt focus on sports. practice should have been cancelled yesterday for all the sports. all they did was make practices end earlier so everyone could attend the vigil
Unfortunately, drug addiction usually doesn't end in a pretty way. If we don't get clean, we addicts get to look forward to lives spent in institutions, or an untimely death. I hope the lesson isn't wasted, some people just shouldn't do drugs. Hopefully it will open some eyes and his death will not be in vain. I'm sorry for your loss. I know that it is painful. Death does not hurt the dead, it hurts the living. You have my condolences.
the wake is today at 5:30. i dont want to go to school but i have to. things just keep getting worse. ive pretty much stopped eating and ive been taking so many sleeping pills. my mom doesnt get whats going on with me and i feel like im screaming as loud as i can and no one can here.
