Have you ever walked in on someone masturbating?

My sister and I never masturbated together. I can't say I ever wanted to either. We played our fair share of "show me yours and I'll show you mine" to field each other's curiosities about boy-girl stuff. And I was much more interested in just understanding things than fooling around . So, it never even crossed my mind.

That's more or less how I finally saw my mom and you know what my immediate thought was? "Wow! Good for her. I'm fuckin' proud of my mom. Getting her's at her age."

I totally get why parents default to feeling awkward but why? Who gives two shits? You do it. I do it. My parents did it. Our grandparents did it (unless they were Catholic, I'm Jewish and I'll never understand you motherfuckers.) And your kids are gonna do it... A LOT! That's what tween to teens do best. It's their favorite thing. And good for them. Would you rather raise some suppressed type A asshole suppressing a key part of their emotional-psychological personhood that they instead excised through weird emotional violence and head games??? Too late anyway if you have a daughter and an electric toothbrush ANYWHERE in the house. Enn-ee-Where...

Let your fine young ladies rub and your kindly gentlemen of youth touch their erogenous zones against any surface to which they have access at any given time. All... The... TIME!!! Or even better, talk to them about it. Encourage it. Make sure they know what they're doing and why. And sprinkle in a bit of "there's nothing wrong with it but kind of like using the bathroom most people prefer not to see others doing it." Then let 'em go at it.

'Cause guess the fuck what? They're doin' it anyway. Let them have their fun because it ain't your goddamn concern. Spread the love of self love. It's a lot less awkward when you just talk about it plainly and openly compared to repurposing it as some grand secret. I'm not mad at you. I completely understand the predicament. Honestly. Truly I do. Just let it go, man. You'll survive. I assure you. Most importantly, it's not about you and she'll do absolutely fine. No counsel needed. She's got this one. I have a hunch. All involved will prosper and proceed.

 

No, I haven't. I'm not sure I would ever want to, either.