have you ever had serious suicidal thoughts

i get depressed over stupid things, like my failing of my math test for the umteenth time all year- and i wanted to literally throw myself out of the school's 3rd story window just today. however, i didnt do it of course,
also ive thought about cutting myself, but I cant do it. I find that pain is senseless, and mental anguish cant be stopped without brain power. So I talk myself out of it,

or jsut go and eat ice cream.
it actually works.

 

yes...often times the only thing stopping me is that im in the wrong place or i dont have anything to do it with....i almost ran out of school once just so i could..but eh..i dunno...it never panned out..i never had a gun..which is the way id do it

anyway..im getting better..kinda

 

what's crazy about considering ending one's life? seriously, i think that all these bad thoughts we have about suicide have been planted in our minds by society; suicide is nothing to be shocked over.

what i really don't get is the self-destructive urge without suicide. like people who want to inflict pain on themselves through starving, beating, burning or cutting themselves. if anything's crazy.... that must be it; that is, i certainly don't understand why someone would go to lengths to cause themselves more pain, because pain to begin with. in my mind, in times of difficulty, which is all of life, one either chooses to go to work at strengthening one's character, or gives up and ends living. i don't believe any one choice is better than the other; don't we all own our own lives?


peace,
sophia

 

Sometimes, but never out of despair or anything. I'm just markedly curious about what happens when your heart stops beating. Of course, patience is a virtue for a reason.

 

I ran out of school once. Bastards.

 

I often think about such things.. but not with any conviction, I know it's a state of mnd that passes, is more a sign of something than a real desire...haha, well so far anyway

 

Well, it isn't like I haven't tried.

 

aw didnt you read my post?

http://hipforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1305375&postcount=6

 

Life isn't always fair, but at least I have what I have.

 

There is a lot of physiological evidence as to why people induce pain upon themselves, inflicting pain can reduce tension within the body etc.. I can't remember the details but I read something recently on it. Plenty of informaiton if you google it I should imagine

 

i will, thanks.

and just to let you know, i just spent the last 5 minutes staring at your crazy sig picture.... very far out!! is that dali? ... right, gotta get back on track. haha

 

no, i've never really seen death as a solution to anything so i've never really thought about it.

 

Death is a theory.

 

so is gravity

 

So are Sam's pants.

 

hahaha pants

i love england

 

me too.

 

you ever been?

 

Once, when I was 6 or 7 months old or so.

 

I've read the topic title a couple of times and you should think that the answer is easy.. did you ever wanted to kill yourself yes or no.

I honestly can't say. When I look back at the darker period of my life it's like a blurry, black rollercoaster ride. You know you were shaken and bruised, scars are still there.. but I can't even remember going up or down. I do know that I wanted out somehow.. but I internalised it a lot I guess.. stayed in bed for over a month (during schoolseason), got me taken in and out of the hospitals for that because they thought I was sick or sth.. was really into reading stuff about serial killers, vampires.. I was cutting etc.. but on the outside no one noticed.. I was a plain girl and still am.. never was a goth or anything.

Did I wanted dead? I just wanted another life I guess.. but I'm a curious person with a lot of hope and some right people at the right times so.. I pulled through.

Remember staring out of my bedroom window looking down though.. annoyed that it was to low to kill me if I'd jump. Was fascinated with knives and blood, still am but I don't 'need' it anymore to cope.

So.. I pulled through.. and I'm a stronger person because of it I think. The way my life is going at the moment I'm the one who's trying to help other people to pull through, because no one should be as alone as I felt sometimes. And it's corny but true.. there are always the little things in life that you should keep enjoying. When my first true love commited suicide it made that clear.. you gotta keep on going, gotta keep enjoying the small things in life. Death'll be there anyway.. it's always with us. And they are always with us.