Got my dick caught

Prolly true, man. LOL

 

*falls out of chair laughing*

*tries to regain posture and say something meaningful about the situation*

*fails*




HAHAHAHAHA that was an absolutely lovely story to wake up to... that made my day since I had a bad night... Thanks dude!

 

It is stories like this that make me so very happy to be a chick! :H

 

dude spidey that sux so much ass, i got a story like that, it involves me naked in my house, a cat, a milk jug, vasoline, my dad, and a fork

 

You know, that wouldn't disturb me if there wasn't a cat and a fork involved.

 

dude it wasnt my fault i was trying to hide under my sheets but my cat came in and start pouncing on the milk jug that was stuck on my dick and i couldnt get her off dude that day sucked so much ass

 

Bwahahah! Oh man, you should post the whole story... it sounds so funny!

 

LMAO... That was the funniest thing i heard in a long long time.

 

I know it's funny to others, and even to me too now, since it has been so long ago. I even guess it's funny to my sister when she thinks about it now. I have been wondering since I brought this up, just how ridiculous I must have looked when she initialy saw the bottle on my dick, and after she got it off, when it was swollen to such a retardedly large size and that extremely red color, but what still may not be so funny to her, and me neither, was when the cum that seemed under pressure, pumped out right after the bottle slipped off.

 

You really should write books!

 

ok lucifer i willp ost the story for u here it is..
*************
ok so one day i was home alone and i was really bored, so i decided i would go do my morning mastrubation session, well i got kinda bored as i couldnt find anything that would "excite" me, so i figured wtf i might as well just go all out, so i was just stroking it and walking around the housa naked, so i went to the kitchen and wa sthirsty and finished up the little bit of milk that was left in the jug, since at that time i had an erection i was wondered if my penis could withstand the force of the milk jug and see if i could hold it up, so i got myself soft and stuck it in there, i went wand watched some porn and bam instant horniness, so i am running around my house nude with a milk jug attached ot my penis, and much to my dismay i couldnt get the container off of my dick, so i pulled really hard but it hurt like a bitch so i tried to calm down and think of my mom naked or my dad humping some1 to try to get soft but it wouldnt work i was "up" for good, so i went to the cabinet and got some vasoline and tried to get it in the non existent space where the jug wa son my dick, and of course that failed so now i was getting kinda scared, so i got desperate and ran to the kitchen and grabbed a fork and tried to pry the jug off of my penis i ended up poking myself many times and decided ok ima try to go to sleep and wen i wake up it will be over with, so as i staretd going to my room i started to go soft again and i was getting so excited but right wen i was abotu to walk in my room, my dad walked in he had forgotten something, so i jumped into bed with the jug still on my semi hard penis and my cat jumped on my bed and started to jump on the bottle that was moving underneath my sheets, so i finally got soft and while under the covers i pulled the jug off my injured penis and threw the cat under the covers also, my dad walked in and said why i was red int he face, i said i gad just gotten out of the shower and he asked wat the lump under the covers was and i said the cat, so he said ok and left a few minutes later, so ya kids the lesson is dont stick ur penis into in animate objects

 

yours has a much happier ending.

 

Nice, nice. Good stuff, Jetblack!


But I have to ask you a question... what were you thinking!?! Wouldn't a MILK JUG hurt like Hell?

 

The milk jug openings are sharp. Too sharp. I could have used one of those because the opening was bigger, but I didn't because it was sharp inside.

 

LOL!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!HAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA........HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!

Man that is the funniest shit ever@!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!What the fuck?Why would u stick your dick in any type of bottle?Just beat-off dude.

 

I wanted to fuck the mouth of the bottle an feel it sliding on my dick. I though the pre-cum oozing from my dick already was enough to lube it, but it bacame sticky. I was just trying something different.

 

HHHHHHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's the most awesome fucking story I've ever read.

Great stuff.

 

for the first story:


um.. arent the *rims* of the bottles sort of small? how could you have fit it in there> they are less then an inch thick..


but that is an awsome story.

 

lmao... great story

 

god damn man that is the funniest story i have ever heard in ages, man you have guts telling the whole forum this. im still laughing.