Got a Problem with not Getting Laid?

run2fly · Mar 13, 2007

Bynrdskynrd said:

Wasteland said "If you have to do anything other than be yourself to get laid, cut it off."

I am being myself, and I've been celibate for 10 years....anyone got any more bright ideas?

No to these things---

Prostitutes-- for obvious legal and moral reasons;

Craigslist-- not one of those guys that is wired for one-night stands;

Bars, Coffeeshops, Bookstores-- because I have no game. After trying to stammer through an icebreaker, young girls (and women my age) look at me like 'a dog that's been shown a card trick,' to steal Bill Hicks' quote.

*Yes, I know about the whole 'rub one out' to get that odoriferous desperation stank you females can smell a quarter-mile away. Still doesn't matter. The young ones don't know what the hell I am talking about, and the ladies my age think that an eighteen-year old is hitting on them.

*I can talk to females. Married, or have a boyfriend/fiancee/lesbian lover? No problem! I can bullshit with the rest of them, about any and every topic. You're taken, and my psyche realizes so.

But be single, coy, and respondent to any male? That's where I go wobbly...

*People accuse me of having high standards. This isn't so. All I ask is for compatibility. This sounds mushy and lame, but why hang out with someone who you can't stand after two hours of talking--no matter how perfect her tits and ass are?

Yeah, a good number of men are saying "hit it and go", but where does that leave me? Another brick in her wall of naivete? Her loss for not working on her personality as well as her six-pack? I don't want to be another buttress in her argument about how shallow men are--and to think of it, the men who participate in that behavior are just as shallow as her beauty is.

And that's why I guess I am still celibate. I honestly don't give a shit one way or another at this point in my life. Sex isn't a necessity, but I would be damned to say if it isn't a gorilla dwelling in the room that is everyday life.
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I quoted this one because of how strongly I identify with these words--maybe not precisely, but pretty darn close. I did managed to get laid twice in the year 2004--twice in two weeks, in fact, with two differernt women--but other than that, I haven't had sex since my wife divorced me in 1990.

But I remember the joy of sex, and being appreciated for it by women who participated in it with me, especially the several girfriends I had before getting married, who were all highly sexually charged, and absolutely thrilling in bed.

My hang up, which would be different than that of the poster I quoted, is that I'm older now. I'm 53, and though I'm an excellent health and good shape for lots of exercise, I wouldn't think I'd exactly be a "catch" in a woman's eyes.

An older woman, maybe, I don't know. But that is the brunt of my insecurity. I talk very easily with women, even strangers, just as I do with men. But when it comes to overtures, propositions, and so forth--I just freeze.

So my celibacy, such as it is, runs in conflict with my desire.

g-bird · Mar 15, 2007

drunken sex just doesnt do it for me

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