Good Girls Have Reached Unicorn Status

How is casual sex a new phenomenon?

Anyway I'm not for or against it, it's one of those things I can understand both sides and don't have a strong opinion on it. People should just do what is right for themselves, stay true to themselves. I've had quite a bit of casual sex, which I probably needed to do to get it out of my system so to speak. I've never been into it like for example if you are in love or have a strong connection with someone. It's more just like succumbing to instincts I guess. I'm in this weird period right now, here and there I hook up with a few recurring type situations, but I'm more or less holding out for lack of a better term.

I miss the sex where it actually means something, I want a long term girlfriend where the sex is still good and exciting, I've had it so I know it exists. But I'm unavailable when it's actually presented to me. Go on a few dates and if there's a good connection I blow her off. Even before sex happens. And the ones that are just down to fuck and don't want any kind of commitment, I blow off too. It's a mindfuck I can't explain. But fuck it, I don't spend a lot of time worrying about it.

Articles like this make me laugh though. It's like a guy that's bitter because he can't get laid no matter what he does so he lashes out at all women as whores, and idealizes some notion of a woman that would actually be way more of a pain in the ass to live with than a 'whore'

 

like any woman has ever actually said that.

or maybe they have, and nobody could hear it, since the bars that those kind of women like to hang out in tend to have music constantly playing at jet engine volume.

 

I think this is referred to as "dating yourself" meaning you're just not ready to focus on anyone else right now. I am there too. When I meet someone I like the idea of meeting them but then I am easily no longer interested. I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone who is not perfect for me, and I don't want to put in the effort to find anyone, and I'm not willing to have sex with anyone I'm not in relationship with, but at the same time I will entertain people who approach me and try to tell myself I might be interested in an nsa type of deal even though I know I would never do that, etc.

 

I think I'm in a relationship with myself lately.

I don't wanna get too much into it here because I am married and I'm happy BUT...he works 70 hour weeks ...odd shifts and we have a toddler...so, I never see him and I'm just kinda into myself and my kid lately. Sometimes I feel my sex drive is there but waiting-hiding- but sometimes I feel it's gone. I have sex about once every... god, I don't even wanna say (every two months?).... it's not often at all. And I don't miss it. But I do.. it's so odd but honestly I just feel there is always more important things to do on that half hour a day I see him and that is very odd for me because I never would have felt like this before. But it's just not important and yea, I do kinda miss it being special and passionate and awesome but blah. I have other things to do.

 

Not like it matters what I say on the internet, but it happens. And booze is usually always involved but not necessarily in the kind of environment you described. You'd be surprised what paying attention to a woman (important) while having a good time and making her laugh (the most important part) can do to elicit those kinds of comments.

 

Honestly.. .back when I used to go out and party I heard girls and guys say stuff like that MANY TIMES... it didn't seem weird at all to me.

It was so normal... it's kinda weird to think on. lolz.

 

Yeah, I think that happens when you have a kid, you go through phases where sex just doesn't matter that much. But it'll probably come back. Him working that much is probably huge factor in it either. If that was all I had with my man, I don't think I'd be that concerned with sex either. Also I think in a long-term relationship you'll go through phases where you're more into yourself. Especially once there are kids, and even if you worked together all the time, you'd want to spend your free time alone or with other friends.

disclaimer: idk what I'm talking about.

 

yeah, i am a little surprised. i never realized that after i did those things, the woman i was talking to would then go and make those kinds of comments to someone else.

i guess i need to start hanging out with other guys who pay attention to women while having a good time and making her laugh.

 

Well, I don't think I ever went 2 weeks without sex since I was 17 (I'm 33)...until recently... so, I think maybe it's just... less important to me. I don't know. But really if you see someone a half hour most days and your kid is getting a bath... and then on weekends you get three hours together and I wanna go out and do things (oh and the kid is there).. it's just...idk, what's a bit ODD though is... I'm not missing it. Like getting cranky or thinking about it all the time (or much at all)... it's either totally normal and I've finally grown up or... I am going thru a hormonal thing. Even weirder... it feels kinda nice not to care about it currently.

Oh well.

We have (hubby n I) never even had ONE NIGHT alone since Case was born (almost 3 years ago)... so, that may need to be fixed at some point though..



(anyways...back on topic ...what was it? oh yes...good girls. hmmm.)

 

Oh girl, yes we need to fix that. I'll babysit for you. But yeah...I remember going through that, like twice, not really with both kids though. It wasn't until after my second was born but I thought it was kinda odd and nice to not wantitneeditbad... I was always very, very sexual.

I think it's a phase, but it's also situational. I could be wrong though. I'm almost 30 and I know I'm starting to change how I feel about sex, but that could be because I'm single.

 

You know what won't make her say it though? Sarcasm.

Nah I'm fucking with you, some chicks like that. And all I can say is that if you really want that to happen, which to be honest nothing good ever came from linking up with a broad like that. Drunk sex, oh cool, then it was usually coupled with some unbearable form of drama/psychosis.

But if you really are a glutton for punishment just put yourself out there more. Instead of being on the internet, go out. Law of averages mang. I've more than doubled my post count in the last 6 months or so because I'm a hermit now, and there's a direct (negative) correlation between that and the amount of times I've been laid or propositioned.

 

nah, i'm really not that interested. i mean, i wouldn't really mind some drunk sex, but it's not worth the effort unless it were to just fall into my lap somehow. an actual relationship would be cool, otherwise i'm content to do what i've been doing.

my only point was that the strategy you described was pretty much exactly how i always interacted with women back when i was more social, and it never led to the results you said.

 

I hear you, I'm in the same boat. But I will say it will never happen with 'effort'.. you have to just be doing your thing and not giving a fuck.

Even if that is sitting at a chill bar by yourself with confidence, these days when I go out it's split between going out by myself or going out with friends. I seem to meet more people when I'm out by myself, even though my goal is to just sit there and get drunk.