Girls, is your current Husband/boyfriend your best ever lover. And.......

It certainly is. Most fetishes are, really, and I don't think it's fair for sex-positive types, or fetish-holders to expect unequivocal acceptance. Sex is more taboo than violence in most cultures, really.

Education isn't usually done through resentment, anger, accusation, heated debate, or public seclusion. We must be open with those who we can; stand up for each other whenever opportunities present themselves; but most of all, we must share the positivity that we find in our acts, with those whom we seek to win over.

 

So are you the best your boyfriends ever had?

 

I don't know, we have never discussed it!

Mike, are you the best your boyfriend has ever had?

 

Now, here's a chance to kill two birds with one stone if ever I saw one!

Xxaru.....please, please, please go and fuck his wife.! Lol.

 

Whatever you say Rachel...

I guess when you get owned as bad as you did in this thread you have to do whatever to try and save face...

 

I don't know, we have never discussed it!

but seriously to sum it up, I'm better than your ex and I'll be better than you next.

 

I suppose you're one of those "strong secure men".

Because that's exactly what is going on. Intolerance and lack of understanding. You're one of those people who don't even want to go beyond what you currently know and try to see what their perspective is. I said "go to a swingers forum", you responded with some insulting analogy about an alcoholic and a bar. That's not just being intolerant, that's being a bigot. I can't see myself having your world view towards things that I don't initially like. If something was foreign to me like this open relationship stuff is to you, I'd want to learn from the people involved in these things why that works for them and why they engage in it. I wouldn't slag them off and label them "diseased people."

 

Obviously it can only work if he is into it!

 

Spot on Mindriot. I myself do not judge others for what they do with other consenting adults, but like you, I'm not a hateful person! Each to their own though. If people want to behave like assholes, who am I to stop them.

 

Yes of course I could see others if I wanted, she would not be angry as she is not that type. She would be sad though. She is a sexual handful, and I do not have the time for anyone else, she gives me more than enough. Going with others would not fit in with the kink anyway, and I don't want it!


Expand my horizens? Haha. Awkward virgin, there is not a drink, drug, or sex act that I have not tried in the past! Equality? Again, that would not fit in with what turns us on so much! I worship her! Her pleasure comes first. Sexually she is the boss. I love it.

 

You have a lot sass! I like it. Haha. You asked me questons, can I ask you some now?

 

I'll admit that my initial reaction to jacobklein's story was a violent revulsion followed by a desire to persuade him to change his ways. What I keep forgetting, even at my age is that it is impossible to get someone to change their mind unless they are open to change. I now feel like there is no point trying to lay out an argument against any kind of open relationship; cuckold, swinging, the lot. So going forward any response to this thread or any similar thread will not be to convince a man he is wrong, rather it will be to show women that there are men capable of fidelity, love, respect and intense passion for their wives and that not every man is either an adulterer or has a fetish that leaves their women at best squeamish and at worst really unhappy.

So, I will no longer address jacobklein about him living up to my ideal of manhood but why do you want me to open my mind to your lifestyle? I find it repugnant and not because I lack imagination when it comes to sex. I still have a very healthy sexual appetite, it's just that my appetite is for my wife alone.

for me, it all comes down to family. my wife and I are cocooners. We are happiest when we are at home with no one else around but the kids and my mother-in-law. we don't want anyone else sitting in our living room and certainly don't want anyone upstairs in our bedroom. I don't like to go to other people's houses, in fact in the past year I have only been in someone else's house twice, once when I went over to a buddy's house to have a few beers and the other when we were in he Midwest last April to see my family and saw the best man from our wedding. I hadn't seen Dave in years and he was right on the way. So, in the past year the only time I have been in someone else's house was the few hours we spent with a friend I have known since 1986 and another few hours with a friend I have known for close to 15 years. I hate leaving my house and I don't like strangers in my house. If I were rich I would build a compound and never leave.

So this whole idea of being with someone else or letting me wife be with someone else (girlfriends excluded) is about as appealing as having an ash tray emptied on my dinner plate.

 

If that is what you want. Just saying, if it was me...

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/if-you-know-what-i-mean-420x250.png

 

Being shared by my husband with other men, OR having a loving husband that makes me happy are two foreign concepts to me. In reading the contrasting styles here in this thread, I'm not disapproving of either. I just wish I knew what it was like.

 

Doing it on the DL certainly gives you some perspective. The main difference being you don't have your husbands praise/approval.

Did your husband ever satisfy you sexually, even in the beginning?

 

why doesn't he make you happy? Did he at one point and stopped?

Every woman deserves to be loved with a ferocity bordering on craziness and I cringe when I hear my peers talk with less than love and devotion for their wives. A man's love for his wife is just an extreme version of the Golden Rule. Even when I am unhappy or disappointed by wife (which is fairly often) I still treat her with love and respect. The reward for channeling all of my love on her alone is so much greater than the desires for other women not pursued. It's not that I don't find other women attractive as I certainly do, it's just that my appreciation for other women is an intellectual one and it stops at my neck. I think Beyonce is one of the most beautiful women in the USA and when I see her sometimes I am a little dumbstruck but like I've said previously, if she landed in my backyard and got out and said, "I am leaving Jay-Z, I want you" I would not give up what I have for that. I hear so many tales of selfishness about my wife's girlfriends' husbands that I shake my head. Men who would rather buy themselves a Harley than make sure their wife is driving a safe, reliable vehicle or men who won't help out around the house or with the kids, it makes me puke. My wife has made me a better man by holding me accountable and expecting me to be an equal partner in running our family. She won't let me be selfish and now I don't want to. The thing that drives me in all spheres of my life is being someone you can count on, depend on, trust and respect. I don't ever want my wife or my boss to be disappointed in me or disgusted by me. By putting the needs of others ahead of mine I am free. My wants are so simple; plenty of beer, sports on TV, a good dinner and some peace and quiet. for that I'll go without sleep, wear old ratty clothes, drive an 8 y.o. car with 129,000 miles, fight off bill collectors, listen to seemingly pointless rants about how bad her day was, wash endless dishes, pay all the bills, taxi the kids all around town, bring her Starbucks at work when she is dragging, send her flowers when she needs cheering up, fill her car with gas and warm it up and brush the snow off of it in the Winter. Before we had kids and she was still a staff nurse, if she was on call on the weekends and got called in during the middle of the night I would get up and drive her to work and then go back and get her when she was done. I'd still do that if we didn't have two kids and a dog to look after.

Demand that your husband treat you like a Queen, if he won't, fuck him (actually don't fuck him) he isn't worthy of you. Women are mysterious, primal, the source of life. Treat your vagina like hallowed ground and demand total devotion as the price to any man who wishes to enter...

 

Hm, I would say no, I was never completely satisfied. Yet, sex isn't at the root our problem(s). It's my anger and resent over lack of functionality as a homeowner, father, and husband. There resulted my total lack of attraction to him. Admittedly, we both got into this rather naively. 28 years ago we were different people. I begged, screamed, pleaded, threatened, enticed, inspired for us to grow with our changes. He displayed no interest or motivation. Things deteriorated and I just lived with it. Then came the time to regain my quality of life. So here I am.....

 

He is mostly self absorbed. At the point he made me "happy" I naively thought he was welcoming and accepting. The reality is he is passive, indifferent, and unaware. There's a long history of how he became who he is (ie indecisive and anxious), and how myself became who I am (ie feisty and aggressive) . At the time we met, it was a sick dependence that inevitably eroded, and left behind two older people that can hardly stomach how the other operates.

 

that's too bad. if you want more, demand more. or leave him.

 

That doesn’t sound too definitive one way or the other. And sexual satisfaction is the crux of this thread. On one side of the fence, people have the mindset that if their man is unable or unwilling to satisfy them sexually, that he should praise and support his girl going out and getting fucked by another guy in order to fill the void that he cannot.

However, those of us who can see beyond the superficial, selfishness of such mentalities (Myself, KJ, Fx, and enhancer to name a few), question why anyone would want to be with someone who was unable or unwilling to satisfy them sexually in the first place.

Most of us have nothing against a couple sharing partners to enhance an already strong and secure sexual relationship. It’s the people that do it in an attempt to fix a sexual void in their relationship that we have a hard time wrapping our head around.

If your partner tells you that you’re shit in bed, that you cannot satisfy him/her, so he/she is going to fuck other people to get the sexual satisfaction they want/need, and you’re going to have to accept it and support it (and that doesn’t mean you get to fuck other people too, it’s all about them, not you)… it suggest that you’d be a rather weak and desperate individual to go along with it.