Girls, is your current Husband/boyfriend your best ever lover. And.......

How often do both partners wake up and independently say to each other: "let's fuck other people"?.

I bet these things happen because one partner relentlessly works to persuade the other to try it and I bet in most cases it is the man trying to persuade his wife and her eventually agreeing to try it to make her man happy.

What makes a man want his wife to fuck someone else? Feelings of inadequacy? Lack of respect for his wife? How does seeing his wife having an orgasm from sex with another man enriching to the husband's life?

Since the end result of sex is orgasm the quality of the experience is how excited one gets before one reaches climax. If a higher state of excitement is obtained by transgressing traditional mores of married life then that means traditional monogamous sex is not good enough.

If you were so smitten with your spouse and the sex was that fantastic , would you really want to have sex with other people?

If you genuinely cared about your spouse but were bored with the married sex routine then turning to other people sounds like laziness or lack of imagination or it signals a perverted sense that sex was only good when it was 'naughty' which shows immaturity.

Think about anything else you value. Say you had a fully restored 1964 Impala SS Convertible. Would you be ok with a stranger driving it?

Say you had a very expensive stamp collection with meticulously arranged albums of stamps. Would you be ok with a stranger paging through it?

say like you had a collection of fine vintage wines worth thousands of dollars. Would you let a stranger open bottle after bottle?

If the answer to these questions is no, why is the answer no?

To me, my wife is priceless, invaluable. I don't want anyone else touching her. Right before typing this post I asked her "why would a man want another man to fuck his wife?". She went on to tell me about a nurse she once worked with whose husband paid other men to have sex with her. She did it keep him happy but hated every minute of it. Eventually she divorced him and remarried. I then said "I wouldn't want you to even kiss another man on the lips, let alone have sex with one, to which she said the idea of kissing another man was disgusting and she would never want to.

You can protest until you are blue in the face about consenting adults who love each other, blah, blah, blah but from my perspective allowing another man to fuck your wife is like allowing another man to take a shit in your bed while you were sleeping in it. If that is you I don't understand you, don't want to understand you and will condemn your behavior as disgusting and amoral.

 

You act as if it's that simple. If you want to know how these people come to the conclusion that swinging or otherwise is something they're interested in, go to a swingers board or something of that ilk. Ask around. Then again, I'm saying that to you. I'd expect that you'll come up with some offensive analogy about drunks in a bar to avoid actually doing that and at least trying to see another perspective.

And the thing is your perspective is narrow-minded and, quite frankly, boring.

 

Everything in our culture is geared toward a view of romantic, monogamous marriage. Movies, novels, pop songs, commercials, Hallmark cards you name it. It is the dominant paradigm of sexual relationships. There is no cultural acceptance of open relationships or swinging. I grew up watching those movies, hearing those songs, seeing those commercials. I think to reject all that and engage in a different way of behaving sexually does require a certain type of strength but I cannot relate to it. Monogamy works for me and has worked for 2 of the 3 long term sex partners I've had.

I think our culture is evolving away from the ideal, however. More and more people are getting divorced, more and people are are staying single, more people are living non traditional sexual lifestyles.

I get that, but at 50 and happily married I am not about to change. I do hope my kids can navigate their way to peace and happiness and not be lonely but ultimately there's probably not much I can do about it.

some might say, why be so insistent on your viewpoint on this forum?

If everyone more or less shared the attitude: " hey man, whatever works for you is cool" then this wouldn't be a very lively place for debate and threads like this would have a few responses, not a few hundred.

Of course I am going to defend and justify my life choices, not because I think everyone should think and do as I do but because if there is one man or one woman who reads these posts and figures out that they can follow the same path I did to happiness then I will feel vindicated.

When I read the passage below I am encouraged.

 

@Fx20736 I must say, your trolling is top notch. Very subtle!

 

That would make sense. Man, if he's trolling I got suckered in a bit. My sense for these things is out of practice.

 

Yeah if he's trolling then it is top notch.

 

Here's where we differ personally. I always try to strive to understand perspectives that are different than mine. When life throws you a curve ball I find that doing this beforehand takes off the shock factor.

It's also illogical to say that just because a belief system is dominant that it is moral, while other fringe minority belief systems are immoral. It's a false dichotomy (aka: false dilemma).

Now if you make the case where someone gets hurt and abused either physically or mentally here is grounds for discussion.

 

Isn't that ironic. I had begun to suspect the same of you. After all, who posts that they are ok with the woman they love fucking someone else because they had a small dick and suffered from PE?

 

I stopped reading his posts about ten pages back. It is obvious that he is trying to get a reaction from people! Give it up Fx, you have been sussed!

 

Yeah it's far more likely that every guy on here is John Holmes, and they are not bullshitting.

I'm not only o.k with my girl going with her Dom, I like it. Yes I have a small dick when compared to my girls lover, and I also squirt real quick sometimes when my girl is on top and I don't have control. She takes it real slow and gentle, and that adds a very sensual dynamic to our lovemaking. Sometimes she makes me cum quick on purpose, she likes this, thinks it cute and it empowers her, and confirms her position as the one in charge when it comes to sex between us. She lets me know this, and I like it. I like the fact that I am a sub to her, although in a non BDSM way, and that she is a sub to her lover, her Dom!

Sexually, she is in charge of me, and he is in charge of her!

 

so by deductive reasoning, he is also in charge of you?

 

If they were not the best then it is up to me to make the effort to make them the best.

In any relationship there should never be mentioned someone else who was better at anything......never works out well.

 

Who's the troll here?

you keep announcing, over and over what a cuckold you are. Even your name, Klein means 'small' in German. It's almost a parody. Is your gf's 'bull' a bald headed muscular black man? Do you look like Woody Allen?

I think the real issue, if your story is in fact true is not your girl's sex drive, rather it is your need to be humiliated and by posting your story you get to increase that by inviting scorn, derision and ridicule from people like me.

You are not normal and I don't care whay you or mindriot say, most men don't want their women touching other men's penises.

This thread prompted me to do a little research. From what I could find no more than 5% of marriages are 'open'. This percentage includes swingers. that means for 95% of people in committed relationships monogamy is the expectation, even if about half of married people cheat at some point. Still, that means roughly half of married people are faithfully monogamous.

I am not the freak, I am the ideal that most people aspire to.

You are the freak Mr Small. I hope that one day you are cured of your mental illness and find true happiness with a woman who values you for who you are; small penis, PE and all.

 

I know you have a knack for not paying attention to anything posted that contradicts or otherwise disagrees with whatever points you try to make, but I never said a single fucking thing about "most men" being into open relationships. I was defending couples who are into that stuff from narrow minded bigots like yourself who would refer to them as "diseased people" because they didn't stay in lockstep with the norm.

Words cannot describe just how full of yourself you are.

 

Just ignore the troll!

 

Oh, I wanted to point out this part.

I'm not saying that the number is wrong, right or whatever, but you have to wonder how many open couples out there would willingly answer such a survey. These couples generally tend to be discreet and keep their lifestyle choices close to the vest, because of how people tend to be closed-minded when confronted with something outside the norm.

 

My current boyfriend in the beginning stages of sexual romance wasn't very confident and thus the sex was lacking for me as my previous sexual partners were quite abrupt and aggressive and so I was used to how should I put this - not so much rough and dominant sex just more harder sex. My other lovers seemed to go hard or go home and were all in it for themselves but my current was more tuned in to giving me pleasure that it actually wasn't, if that makes any sense lol =\ but now after time he's grown much more comfortable and the sex is pretty good. It gets better when we go off for the weekend or on a holiday, kind of mundane during the working week, still good though, he's definitely not shy on going down on me he usually asks if he can which I've never really had asked before.

 

I'm the same! I try to be as considerate as I can, and also loving and gentle. I also ask her what she wants, although it is her that usually tells me, as she is the sexually dominant one between us!

Her lover is not considerate towards her needs, and yet satisfies her more than I. He is selfish and he dominates her 100%. He uses her for his own sexual enjoyment, and yet gives her multiple orgasms. I go down on my girl and make the effort to make her cum, he does not have to make an effort, he makes her cum loads by just pounding her with his huge long lasting cock!

 

I don't know, but it's getting awfully crowded under that bridge...

lol...

If he gets off on it, you are contributing some fine fap fodder...

Normal? Most? Next thing you'll be telling me it is "normal" to wear a niquab. Or that it is not normal to wear one. "Normal" is such a weasel word.

Pardon? How do you "reasearch" this without getting your head punched in? Google and Wiki don't count. Where did "half of married people cheat" come from? www.Imakeshitup.com? And isn't "faithfully monogamous" a touch redundant? I mean, how can you have unfaithful monogamy? Is it a new kind of timber?

WTF? Arrogation of this type is a symptom of a very grave disorder.

Hi Kettle, I'm Pot. You're black.

 

you wait 10 days to bump my post? Is there a point in it? This thread started by Rachel85 because she was conflicted over the fact, that despite being happy with her current mate he was not the best in the sack. That idea, in itself bothered me but then the thread got derailed by jacobklein who made it about him being a cuckold. sure I took the bait but only because that pathology was so foreign to me.

Clearly there is a younger generation that can live with ambiguity, relativism and complex relationships. I can't, won't and don't have to. I am the luckiest guy in the world. My wife had sex 6 times in 10 years before I met her. She tells me I have the biggest cock and is the only one who brought her to orgasm, is the only man she fellated to orgasm. She had not had sex in a few years when I met her. She was for all purposes a virgin. Besides that I am the only boyfriend she ever had so in every way I am the man to her. She tells me that not only do I have the biggest cock but I am the smartest person she ever met and it was my brain that attracted her first. I know she loves the fact that I am a foot taller than her.

I could not imagine, could not deal with, would rather die than have a different sort of relationship with a woman that I loved. I don't want any man touching her other than to shake her hand. I burn white hot for her. I want her all to myself and I want to be there for her, all of me. My wife is my life.

I honestly don't know how anyone could live differently, have a different role in a committed relationship. I guess many do, I am just filled with pity for them. I want to really hear from several women that they would rather have an open sexual relationship full of multiple partners and experimentation over an all consuming, powerful love in which the idea of having ANY intimacy with a member of the opposite sex, physical or emotional is utterly repugnant.

If you don't look for the one you won't find him/her.