Gay Cure MERGED

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I was never sexually molested or indoctrinated (what ever that means) in my youth. I had the same childhood as my 4 straight brothers.

Now, can I ask you if you were sexually molested by an older and/or influential male, during your youth?

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Were you introduced (discovered, found) homosexual pornography during your teen years?
This is a pretty common gateway nowadays with the internet in full force.
Perhaps you saw some homosexual pornography and believed that because you were aroused - therefore that 'proves' you are gay or partly gay?

No,
however several tried to get that opportunity.
I was actually so naive that I believed it worked to my advantage.
Now its blatantly obvious what they were trying to do.

 

I am sorry if that happened to you. No one showed the least bit of interest in me in that way until after I decided to come out. But what if the opposite sex, a woman, had tried to come onto me, would that have made me straight? I mean, girls came onto me in high school, and I still had a crush on the captain of the track team.

I didn't see any porn when I was a kid, except the occasional playboy, that my older brothers might have got somehow. But if gay porn makes you gay, then straight porn seems to have had zero affect -but it worked for my brothers!

No, if anything I saw happy heterosexual couples and thought, "what would it be like to be married to him?" I knew I wanted to be with a man when I grew up, even before I knew what sex was or how babies are made.


When I was in kindergarden, they had a cool kitchen play set in the cloak-room. I was really hurt because the girls wouldn't let me play with them. No boys allowed. "O-U-T and that means Y-O-U!" So, the only thing I wanted for christmas that year was a set of play dishes. That's all I wanted, so Santa brought me a nice little set of play dishes. They came in a little black case with elastic that held the cups and plates in place. When I went to my grand parents for the first time with my travel dishes, my Grand Pa saw the case and asked if I was going to be a doctor when I grew up. I opened the case to show the dishes and said, "No, I'm gunna be a mudder!"

Now, Emeril probably got dishes as a little boy too, but he's straight.


Hey, you know -it's kinda strange being your lab rat. If you're truly interested in learning why people are gay or bi-sexual, you should check out my previous post with links to reputable studies and research. Also, another member, LogsOnSticks, found a brilliant paper written by a gay youth on the subject, the link is at this post. After you read these reports and studies, I would be interested to know what you learned.

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Like psychological theories about any personality trait, maybe it is a little genetic predisposition, and some environmental influence which contribute to the choice of sexual preference.
Does a heterosexual actually choose to be so?
I don't feel like it was a choice for me, so much as the strong attraction towards the opposite sex that I have had as long as I remember. Sure I could choose to be with a man, but I am just not anywhere nearly as aroused or attracted by men.
Erasmus70, did you choose to be heterosexual? If so, tell me about it.
Gay friends of mine don't as a rule appear to have chosen to be gay. They just turned out that way.
It is not anything that I feel any reason to judge, it is no concern of mine. But if pressed, I would judge that being gay is normal. It's okay. Curing it is no more sensible to me than curing heterosexual people.

 

There is something 'telling' in Hippunks post (which I actually do appreciate the reply) and I want to asborb it for a while and then get back to it later.
Im already through the first (and expected) layer but there is a some angles and 'more' that I want to think about.
Thx.

ps.. You dont choose Heterosexuality. Thats true. Your Biology will determine it for you.
Obviously.
Homosexuality is a choice but I dont see how it can be any different than anything else when its many different choices, small and large at different turns of life.
Nobody just wakes up one day and says "Hey.. I think I want to be addicted to cigarettes"
It is true that nobody 'chooses' to be a 'NonSmoker' because, by nature and left to itself the lungs are just born and develop to breath air not smoke. Obviously.

 

sexuality is not something you just pick up, like smoking.


As far as I can remember, even when I was five or six, I was attracted to guys. One particular instance was when I was in second grade. I spent the night at a friends house, and later on we took a shower together. After we had gotten out, and were in his room about to change, we both noticed that I had an erection. Niether of us really knew what it was, but my friend said he got them when he saw a pretty lady, etc. I then explained that I got it from seeing him naked. We just dropped it, niether of us thought it was a big deal. This probably is not enough "proof" for you, but looking back on it now it's kind of funny.

I don't understand how you can believe that homosexuality is a choice. Why would anyone choose to be gay? I am who I am, Its something I cannot change.

Being straight would be a whole lot easier; but being gay is something I must live with.

 

You are recalling this event as part of a justification for your behavior.
Excuse for your behavior actually.
Hipunk is doing the same thing but there is more going on than just this... and thats what Im thinking through right now and how I can explain this back to you in a way that will be best understood.

btw.. you did not get an erection at five years old because the homosexuality inside you was making your five your old penis want to enter the other boys anus or mouth.
Its actually a very natural phenom .. especially at five years old (as in that specific age exactly) and thats another story but it does not equate to your being a homosexual now.
Other than you 'thinking it does' anyway.

 

There is still a lot humans don't know about sexual orientation. As a gay man, it's an issue that I have a certain interest in, and I've probably done more reading and talking and listening about it than most people who aren't behavioral scientists.

My hunch is that people are homosexual or heterosexual or bisexual or whatever for a variety of reasons. Given the discrimination and unpleasant treatment many gay men and lesbians endure, I doubt that very many of us actually "chose" to be this way. Some of us attempt to become heterosexual and fail in the attempt. I went through a great deal of frustrated effort and pain not to be gay, and after many years and struggle not to be, finally accepted who and what I am. For me, homosexuality was most emphatically *not* a choice. Counseling and prayer and will power did not make me heterosexual. Choice implies an ability to act on something.

So Erasmus, when you tell me that homosexuality is "obviously" a choice, I am profoundly and personally hurt and offended.

 

During the late 60's in the mist of a 4some with another couple the women, who were bi challenged us (the two males) to try it. How do you know you are not bi if you have never tried. We were both open-minded and had few if any inhibitions so we spent almost an hour trying to have sex. Kissing, hugging, licking and sucking. Result nothing. Both of us stayed as limp as could be. After the women agreed we had given it a fair try we went back to what we were doing and had no problem getting erections. Now it would seem that if being gay was something you could just decided to do as a choice that it would have worked for us. In addition, several years later a gay male who was a friend of ours was claiming that he could give better oral sex than any woman could and used me as his test case. No results again. These experiences, talking to lots of Gay folks and reading current medical findings is what leads me to say that being Hetro or Gay is just something you are born with. Though I am sure that someone will tell me that had I spent more time and effort I could have become gay. Just like smoking, you do not like it at first. I am sure that the gay individuals reading this had to force themselves the first 10 or 20 times (yea right)

 

exactly. besides, if nature/god did it then I dont think she/it/he would want us to fix it.

Besides, who would write our musicals and design our clothes? (jk)

 

erasmus, I do not get aroused when I look at a naked female, or a male and female having sex. I have had experiences with women, and it they were not satisfying for either of us. It isn't a choice when I get an erection while looking at a naked man or gay pornography. However, it is a choice to have sex with another male. Just like it would be a choice to have sex with a women.

 

You dont choose to be gay.
you choose to be yourself.
When someone is attracted, or has feelings for someone of the same sex, you cannot control it. That is something that happens with thought.
Acting on this is a conscious choice.
So you do not choose to be gay, you just choose to act on your feelings.

I always do things that best suit who I am, and makes me happiest.
I am a lesbian.
I am in love with a women.

Now I COULD ignore this, and date a man. I could force myself to stay with a man, get married...do the "normal" thing. But I would be sacrificing my own happiness. I would be having children out of a loveless relationship. People deserve to find love and happiness, its not fair if I pretend to love a man just so that I can live a "normal" life.

Instead I have embraced that fact that I am part of a minority.

I am me. and thats all I want to be. and thats all anyone should ever expect me to be.

 

If I could cure anything involved in the issue of gay/straight, I would cure the ignorance that causes people to feel like homosexuality is something that needs to be cured. I am not gay, personally, but there is nothing wrong with it. Saying homosexuality is a disease is the same as saying heterosexuality is a disease. It is all based on personal preference.

 

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Here he implies he's planning another rebuttal, which belies any sincerity that erassmus70 pretends to have. It is refreshing that these attacks are now reserved for me in particular, and not all gay folks, and that his hostility is confined to this thread.

His tiny intellectual battles are merely anti-gay propaganda. I've seen it all before! It's tired.

Countless studies have shown that people do not choose to be LGBT. I have provided links to the information. Sexual orientation occurs before birth or in early development. The Medical community will not support your homophobia. You have yet to provide documentation for your pov because the only folks who agree with you are Nazis and wing-nut christians.

Okay, you may disagree with the largest association of psychologists worldwide -that's fine. However, you remind me of that bit on Conan O'Brien where they have the tele-link with Arnold Schwarzenegger (see: wmv of Late Night with Conan O'Brien.)

Conan will say something like, "You're making an irrational statement"
Arnold retorts, "You are an irrational statement!"
Conan says, "That doesn't make sense."
"You don't make sense," Arnold retorts. And then they pull the plug on him.

You prefer to carry on a childish conversation as well.

"You're choosing to be gay"
"Am not"
"Are too"
"Am not"
"You are too!!!"

This worries me. You should move on. You have made your point.

You are prejudiced. You have judged the situation before looking at the facts or the truth. There is no reasoning with you, because you seem to either lack the skills or reject truth in favor of a gut reaction of disgust; which btw, you seem to relish. You are a sick man, tired beyond your years. Please seek help, you'll only find misery while living with hate and bigotry.

 

Serious Question:
Why are you and others here absolutely determined to defend Homosexuality as a genetic imperative which 'makes you have gay sex' and to put it the other way around - why or what is the problem with anyone being born a 'hetero' meaning born wanting to use their genitals for the purpose they were made for, who then chooses to have gay sex?

Short Form: Whats wrong with Choosing to have gay sex?

Answers appreciated.

 

Nothing is wrong with it.
As long as both partners want to do it and no one is forced to do anything s/he doesn't want to (in which case straight sex is wrong, too), it does no harm.
Except for annoying some preachy Christians maybe, but that's another story.

 

Because It is an untruth. While anyone can have gay sex at gun point, (their choice) that doesn't make them gay. Myself, I only have two choices: one is to have a loving relationship with a man, the other is to be alone.

People like you seem to have realized the one precious lesson in life: there is only one valuable. We all know it isn't gold or money. Some people believe it is love. You and I know they are wrong. It is happiness.

You seem to think that if you can control other peoples happiness, that it will become your own. If so you are confusing power with possession. Power is control. Happiness comes from the heart. I wish you could find it in your heart to alow me my happiness.

 

For starters.. I can have a loving relationship with a man and so do most men on the planet (hopefully having a Father or Sons etc).
If not a best friend.
A Mentor.
Having a meaningful loving relationship is something every man can and hopefully does have with a Father or Brother or like I say. perhaps a Coach or a Co-worker.

Anyways... I am digressing like you did in your last posts - far from the question here.
I ask it because it seems some holy mantra among the gay apologists to defend 'made to have gay sex' as some sort of unquestionable dogma to be defended at all costs.
Why?
So what if people can choose to have homosexual sex?
Maybe I decide I want to screw a guys bumhole next week.. so whats the problem here?
What is wrong (if anything) that some guy decides he really likes blowjobs and goes down to the 'Cruising Park' and gets 'BJ's from a another guy?

In fact, what exactly is the problem with a 'Shoe-o-sexual' just saying he has had a compulsion to have sex with shoes since he was a teenager and now he chooses to act on it.
He wasnt 'born a shoeosexual' and he knows full well his penis is specificaly and wonderfully designed to fit a vagina - not a shoe, but, he wants to choose to do it in a shoe to gratify his lusts and fantasy?

And i suppose the follow up to the question you refuse to answer - why cant someone just choose to have gay sex and if they DO.... why are they 'not gay' but you are?
What if they like it just fine and then choose to do it again. Or not. Whatever.
Why are you getting to be 'the real gay' and they are considered fakes?

 

No, it is the finding of the APA, the largest association of psychologists worldwide, as well as other reputable orgs.

Like I said before, god made me gay, you should ask him. While being gay is an innate orientation, having a homosexual experience is the prerogative of everyone. Don't confuse the two. Just because you can box left-handed, doesn't mean you were born that way. You know that!

I repeat:

People like you seem to have realized the one precious lesson in life: there is only one valuable. We all know it isn't gold or money. Some people believe it is love. You and I know they are wrong. It is happiness.

You seem to think that if you can control other peoples happiness, that it will become your own. If so you are confusing power with possession. Power is control. Happiness comes from the heart. I wish you could find it in your heart to alow me my happiness.

You are prejudiced. You have judged the situation before looking at the facts or the truth. There is no reasoning with you, because you seem to either lack the skills or reject truth in favor of a gut reaction of disgust; which btw, you seem to relish. You are a sick man, tired beyond your years. Please seek help, you'll only find misery while living with hate and bigotry.

 

i think the gay community differently (even if i'm not part of the club)... i believe in life as a chapter of a big book ...a wheel of life... reincarnation in fact...i believe in different chapter before this one ...different life thru centuries and millenium...

And this is my theory ...I think that people are gay (mainly) by three factors ...

the first one ... the story of your family
It's proved that sons in a family with bad fathers, sick mentaly, dead soon or leave home very soon without subsitute etc... fathers who give bad exemple for their sons ...and this same son had a talented mother who show the rights expemple ...a good and patient mother if you want... there's more probability that in this family the little boy will become gay... it's proved there's more probability... even if naturally there's more chance that he will be heterosexual...

secondly ...abused children had more chance than others to develop a gay sexual approach (recently i read this into a swiss journal...and too that probably 1 children for 10 were abused in their childhood! even if a lot of them just don't remember this...a cerebral autoprotection if u want)

thirdly... i belive in reincarnations ...so i believe even if it's always difficult to make experience and prove it...i belive that a lot of gays were woman in their previous life (if we are open to reincarnation...this seems to be a good theory)...

Naturally all my words are just a global approach ... there's a lot of gay...that don't enter in my explanation... it would be to easy...

have a nice day