Funniest Lines From THE SIMPSONS...

Bart: You sold my soul for a bunch of pogs!

Milhouse: These just aren't any pogs, these are Alf pogs so you know they were worth it.

 

HA I like that one

 

Bart "This is my latest chart topper "Me Fans are Stupid Pigs""

Hibbert "We are going to cut you open and tinker with your ticker"
Homer "Could you dumb it down a notch?"

This one isn't nearly as funny in text but
Homer: "I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer!"

And NatureFreak the Makeup Shotgun was something like
"This is for the woman who only has two tenths of a second to get ready"

Rush Limbaugh character: "These dumb-o-crats would rather play hacky sack then lock up the homeless"

Lisa says a long speech about the rivalry between Chelvybil and Sipringfeild then Home says
Homer "Yeah they said they would spike our water supply but they havn't yet"
Marge drinks a glass of water then the walls melt in multicolors, the turkey then flys out of the oven.

 

Joan Rivers - "Help my daughter has no talent"

 

Mr Burns: Hello Leonard. Tell me why you should keep your job without using the letter E.
Lenny: Uhhhh, I am a good....work....guy.
Mr Burns: You're fired!
Lenny: But I didn't say....
Mr Burns: Oh, you will... *pulls lever to his hatch*
Lenny: *falling* EEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Or when Bart goes for Mr.Burns inheritance
Homer: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!! The boot kicked Bart!!! It kicked him right in the butt!!!! BAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!

 

Wow, a wonderful collection...


one of my favs. The Lord of the Flies Episode when Ralph eats some mysterious fruit or beans or something and say 'It tastes like bur-ning...'
haha

Also, I think the Simpsons are STILL THE BEST!!!!!
Just look at all the memories they've created here!
18 pages, crazy.

 

Mmmmm..... Invisible Cola.
Mmmmm..... Free Goo.
Mmmmm..... Beer.

 

I'm kinda partial to Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel.

(up on a telephone pole) "Hey, I can call my ma from up here. HEY MA!! GET OFF THE DANG ROOF!!!"

 

Belle, the Burlesque House Owner: "Are you wearing a paper bag?
Homer: "I have misplaced, my pants."

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.

Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

 

okay so Homer and his mother are escaping through the back door, when the police burst through the front.

Grandpa "Okay! I am the Lindberg baby! GOO GOO GA GA! I MISS MY FLY FLY DA DA!"

Police "Are you trying to stall us or just senile?"

Grandpa " A little of column A, a little of colomn B"

 

The Simpson’s are swimming away from Alcatraz after escaping via a Sound of Musicish diversion. Lisa (I think) says “quick swim to San Francisco. Homer responds "I'm not made of money swim to Oakland”.

 

Ralph: Can you open my milk mommy?
Mrs. Hoover: Ralph, I'm not your mommy.
Class: [Laughter]

 

I am cracking up.

 

Vickky- i'm a grown woman now, Little Vickky was my old name. Please, call me Miss Vickky.

Marge- ok, miss Vickky I...

Vickky- uh, thats Little Vickky

 

Homer: I am so smart, S M R T...
or
Ralph: Miss Hoover, my worm wiggled into my mouth and I ate it. Can I have another one?

 

Homer, upon eating an unrecognisable lump he just found under the sofa:

"Mmmmm...something..."

 

Homer's just been fired from the plant, and Lisa's trying to help him find a new job in the paper...

Lisa: Look dad, there's a job here for a supervising technician.

Homer: Doh! But I'm just a technical supervisor.

 

The family are playing Scrabble, and we see Homer's letters which spell out the word "OXYDIZATION"

Homer: Doh! I just can't make a word out of these stupid letters!

 

I don't have time to read through all 19 pages, so sorry if this is a repost.

Lisa: "The United States has its grandeur and its follies, but mostly it's the place where all our stuff is."