Funniest Lines From THE SIMPSONS...

Ralph Wiggum: "That's where I saw the Leprechaun...he told me to burn things"

Homer: "I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!"

Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins"
Homer: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely"

Cheif Wiggum: "No... sorry, you have the wrong number, this is 912"

Devil Flanders: "It's always the one you least suspect..."

Dealer: "19"
Homer: "Hit me."
Dealer: "20."
Homer: "Hit me."
Dealer: "21."
Homer: "Hit me."
Dealer: "22."
Homer: "D'oh!"

Homer: "Fish? I don't know...I'm not really a vegetarian."

Reverand Lovejoy: "This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants, designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first, let's pass the collection plate."

Homer: "I don't have to be careful. I have a gun."

 

Mr. Burns: C'mon people, what am I paying you for?
Homer: To work in your nuclear power plant
Willie: You're not paying me anything
Frink: You kidnapped me!

 

Joey Ramone: ......go to hell, you old bastard!
Mr. Burns: Smithers, have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir, those aren't the—
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!

 

Homer: But I don't even believe in Jeeebus! Help me Jeebus!

 

homer: "Marge! I think I found a way to solve our money woes! You rent your womb to a rich childless couple."
Marge: "What?! Homer, No!"
Homer: "Uhhhg, but Marge It's uterUS not uterYou."
Marge: "No!"

 

save me jebus - homer

 

I like that kid that's in Bart's 'slow' class that he's in in one episode... 'I am from Canada, eh?' he says it real slow, it's hilarious.

 

from the haloween episode when homer get snake's hair transplanted into his head and it makes him do stuff.

chief wiggum: "Homer Simpson, Your under arrest for the murder of Moe Syzlac, and Apu Nahasa... Passa.... no, just Moe, just Moe."

 

The single funniest moment was in the 1895 house ep., where they said, "Fixing this show is going to require original thinking. Everybody, take out your TVs and start dialing around."

 

I have a few favorites, all from very early episodes. (I think the show has gone downhill steadily, ever since the season after Burns got shot.)

From the episode when Lisa was having an existential crisis, and Marge tries to counsel her, saying "Lisa, just stuff those bad feelings all the way down to the bottom of your feet, and try to smile all the time, because everybody knows how good of a mother you have by how often you smile. Plus, then you'll become popular, and happiness will follow."

Later in that same episode, Marge finds Lisa playing saxophone in the middle of the night with a black street musician. She yells, "Lisa, get away from that jazz man" and yanks her into the car. Then she turns to the guy and says, "Nothing personal, I just fear the unfamiliar."

Another favorite is from the episode when Bart cuts the head off the Jebediah Springfield statue to impress Jimbob Jones and his delinquent friends. As he's deciding whether to do it, he asks Homer how important it is to be popular. Homer sits him on his knee and answers, "Bart, being popular is the most important thing in the world."

Then there's the classic episode with Spinal Tap, when Bart decides to take up guitar. After a few days, Homer asks Bart why he doesn't practice anymore. Bart says he quit because he wasn't good at it right away. Homer answers, "Bart, I'm proud of you. If something's hard to do, it's not worth doing. We'll just put that guitar in the closet with your unicycle, karate suit, and short wave radio, and then we'll go watch TV."

I also love this line from the episode when Lisa and Bart start writing scripts for the Itchy and Scratchy show and submitting them under Grandpa Simpson's name. When he wins an Academy Award, they finally have to tell him what they've done. They ask him, "Didn't you wonder why you were getting all those checks in the mail for doing nothing?" and he answers, "I thought it was because the Democrats were in power."

 

In the Y2K halloween episode....

Lisa: Look at the wonders of the technological age now...
Homer: wonders Lisa or blunders...
Lisa: I think that implyed...
Homer: Implyed Lisa or Implode...
Lisa: Mom, Make him stop it.

BEST QUOTE EVER!!!!:sunglasse

Peace,
Jon

 

I agree with you,

At first I didn't want them to go off the air because they were my favorite show, but now it's like I really don't care because it steadily gets worse. It's a good show but it's time to let well enough alone; And what's up with them breaking into song durring the episodes now? I just can't agree with that.

I'm sure that the people who make it would like to stop. I strongly believe they're trying to make it suck on purpose.

 

My favorite from two nights ago rerun:

The doctor to Homer after he stitched up his eye (Ouch):
"The only tonic you need is Chronic"

 

Burns says something like: "Well have to keep this a secret, just like the toxic waste we buried under lego land"
Goes to flashback of legoland
*Giant Lego white house grows legs and runs around*
guy making pun: "Haha, now thats what I call a run away government!"
*then the eiffel tower runs up and stabs him in the back*

*Homers smoking medical marijuana upstairs and smokes coming out from under door*
Marge: "Is that smoke?"
Lisa sniffing air: "It smells like my art teachers office..."

Ralph is standing on sidewalk: "Why do people run away from me?"
*He then pees his pants*

There are so many more....

 

"nazi supermen are our superiors" from itchy and scratchy land episode

 

Like all great shows (and bands) that have run their course, the Simpsons should have called it quits years ago. Their memory is tarnished when they keep churning out crap just because it sells.

 

Comicbook Guy - "Worst Episode Ever." & "There is no emoticon to express how I'm feeling right now."

 

he gets the best look on his face when he says implode

 

haha its true loveflower....

Another hilarious face is the episode where homer tells bart to "bacon up his sausage", when the scene changes to Lisa, you can see homer giving bart an evil eye while eatting. I laughed my ass off. Homer has a loto f hilarious background faces....

Peace and Love,
Jon

 

"but dad my heart!"