That's cool. I just hate to see people throw away friendships. You could still hang out with him w/o her. Girlfriends come and go, but friends are forever. What if she breaks it off with you, then you lost a good friend for nothing.
Yeah, well that's the thing. Someone who wouldn't hang out with a girl I loved wouldn't be a good friend, by my definition, so they'd be no loss.
I think it comes down to what you hold important. When moral attitudes that conflict with your own are a fundamental part of a person (such as rascism, sexism, homophonbia etc) can there really be any common ground? I wouldn't want to spend my time in the company of people who feel these things deeply and have no desire to explore or change their own attitudes. It's a compromise of your own sense of self. Look at the fox-hunting issue. If I met a person who seemed really pleasant, we start chatting and I ask what they do at the weekends and they say they go on hunts, it immediately offends my sense of morality. I know it to be wrong so how could I share a friendship with a person who indulges in this act? We may be able to debate it and be civil, but in no way would I want that person as my friend. Would you continue a friendship with your best mate if you found out they were a rapist? I think you need to have a connection with someone for a real friendship to form and I believe that this comes from a basic sharing of inherant moral values. This doesn't mean however that disagreeing on greyer areas is the same thing. If you can't discuss issues and hear other peoples' points of view, how can you grow and expand/change your own ideas? For example, being anti-war but understanding why sometimes it can be a necessary evil is very different to wanting to go to war just to kill people! (PeopleAreStrange - wasn't it only recently that you publicly told your friend Brightwolf to leave the forums?!? I can understand why now, but to still call him your friend? ) I guess that self-respect is the key. I think many people will compromise themselves in order to be liked. Nobody wants to be friendless, but personally, I'd rather have one honest, caring friend than ten mates I could have a laugh down the pub with but have nothing in common with.
I don't think I could remain friends with someone if they were racist or abusive to people/animals, otherwise it is fine to have some different opinions, it makes discussions more interesting
My best friend from school was a very strident conservative. I can't really remember why we became best friends ... it's hard to pinpoint isn't it? Friendships start from getting along well, or having a mutual interest of some sort and grow from there. I was a wet lefty liberal even back then but we hardly talked about politics at all and when we did we would be happy to agree to disagree. We had other things in common, we thought the same way about lots of things even if we came to different conclusions. There were others at the school with views much closer to mine but I became best friends with someone whose opinions were almost the opposite. I don't think friendship has to have anything to do with opinions. I would draw the line with someone whose opinions result in unacceptable behaviour (like actually acting out an extreme prejudice). But if it's just an ideological position that's totally different to mine there's no reason they can't become a good friend. In fact I'd say it's good to have friends with totally different lifestyles and opinions to you. Over the years this best friend from school has become almost as liberal as me as life experiences have taught him the wrongness of his conservative thinking. That's also quite satisfying.
i dont think that general political views mean anything when it comes to friendships. the world is so full of grey that evry1 is entitle to make up there own mind bases on the way they interpret the information given to them... however i whole haertedly draw the line when it come to the disrespect of others.. racism for exacmple is not a political belief.. its called being a closed minded fuckwit.. and i have no time for ppl like that.. equally homophobe's infact any1 who belives that some1 else is less than them because of creed colour sexual preference or what ever... if i was walking thru town with a mate i have known for years and he started being abusive in a racist manner i would walk away and that would be it. i would tell him why i walked away but it would have to be him that asked, i certainly wouldn't take time out of my day to contact him and explain to him why i think hes a cock. so yes.. political beliefs are fine due to the whole grey issue... but general respect for others IS black and white and there is no excuse for being a knob.
