For Long Term/Married couples

I am 64, the wife is 62. married 44 years. first 3 years the sex was very good. then for next 12 years it was just a chore for her, I had it anytime I wanted but for all the effort she put into might as well have masturbated. I say the next 15 years maybe once or twice a month, as it just wasn't worth the effort. About 5 sexless years then I started to developed ED, symptomatic of heart disease.
Now she bitches cause she don't get any. I think that irony of it

 

We’ve been married 48 years and there was a spell (that lasted several years) where we didn’t do anything. Now we fuck 3-5 times every week and are enjoying our intimacy more than ever before. I need the help of the odd pill these days but she lubricates just fine.

 

20yr anniversary coming up soon. We have sex just about as often, but now days it's way more involved with toys, bondage, etc.

 

25th or Silver last April .

WE still find each other fun to be with

 

We were fine for many years but age does change things. As she lost interest she just happened to start hanging with a group of girls. Girls nights were always at our house. One of those women was a divorced lawyer and hated men and her attitude took root a little in my wife so conversations about wanting sex went out the window. It got worse. No sex jokes. No movies with nude scenes. No showering together or dressing / undressing in the same room. On trips it was two beds in the hotel room or I slept on the chair or couch (I still sleep on a couch here at home). She tried hormone replacement for a while (2008) and for a few months she was a she-devil. But her friends convinced her she was only doing it for me and she was also worried whether she should even be on hormones. Finally suggested that I should go across the street and get some from my neighbor who was also divorced and who we were very friendly with (like parties, skinny dipping in the earlier days, etc.). That woman was also in the girls night group and sympathized with the situation. It didn't take me long to ask and she became my first FWB. The rule is to never bring someone or something home and never do anything that would cause her to be embarrassed. It's been many years. She just has a strong aversion to sex of any kind but understands that we're different people.

 

We have sex quite a bit.. at least a few times per week.. there are times we go through downer weeks I guess and on the flip side we have very "active" weeks.. but our sex life is fun and pretty regular..

 

Oh, it varies a lot. Sometimes we have sex 2-3x a week sometime 2x a month. Life/responsibilities get in the way vs dating. When we were dating and through the first 5 years (that's 13 years total for us) 5x a week, minimum, always. Then came kids, more responsibility at work.... and it dwindled. If it goes longer than 2 weeks we both get grouchy and bicker so we jump into the sack ASAP. So, do we have it more? No. Do we have better sex? Yes most of the time. Do we have it enough? Yes.

 

My wife is a totally "responsive" arouser. I got so tired of her never initiating, and being slow to respond that I don't bother. She's not a cuddler either. I'd rather masturbate, but this situation leads to marital tension. She doesn't even masturbate... I should take her pulse. Our solution was to set one day per week as a sex day. Thrills and chills... how romantic. With age it just gets worse. But of course I'm expected to be a silent "nice guy". If I'm not happy about it, I get the typical female reaction... I'm the bad guy.

 

At least your wife is loving and insightful enough to accept her responsibility in the situation and let you get human needs met elsewhere... that's rare.

 

My take: Sex in marriage is a moving target, due in part to life. My wife and I are a senior couple that were in our forties when we married. We both have a high sex drive. We do it for romance/relationship, but I must say, most importantly, we do it for our mental and physical health. This may be hard to believe, but we talk and tease each other, everyday about sex. It keeps us sexed up and nothing is taboo or off the table. We don’t take sex for granted in our life, but it is a very high priority. We also associate with likeminded couples as well. 22 years into our marriage and we are still learning what turns us on.
For the record: We are a consensual non monogamous couple.

 

If I may, my friends and I have talked about this. We're all females and a few shared your wife's reaction. Basically, if their husband asks if they
"want to have sex" they answer truthfully, no. because they don't. They don't want to because they only "want to" after it starts. So
my question was "how can you ever get it started if you say no?" Silence, then laughter. Never got an answer other than "eventually I'll give in" So sad.

Wish I could share some profound thoughts but I'm not that smart. But none of them would say it was their partner's issue, all said it was theirs.

 

My wife and I have been married 15 years (together 17 years). "We" have as much, if not more sex now than when we first got together. My wife is 38, in her sexual prime, and shows no signs of slowing down any time soon. We have sex at least 3 times a week (pretty much every other day).
When we first met in 2006, she was very up front and honest about her kinda "seeing" an ex-boyfriend of hers (basically FWBs). She explained they were highschool sweethearts, dated for 3 years, and mutually agreed to separate after graduation due to logistics. They remained "friends" throughout the years, and would occasionally meet up for sex. She made it pretty clear that they still cared a lot about each other, and they did toss the "L" word (love) around frequently when they chatted on the phone.

She told me all this because after being friends for a short while (about 3 months) I began developing feelings for her, and asked her if she'd be my girlfriend. She said yes, but only if she could continue "seeing" her ex-boyfriend. I had a lot to ponder with the response she gave me.
Being open-minded, nonjudgmental (I already knew of her "relationship" with her ex, and the fact that I believe it's possible to love more than one person at a time) and not being the jealous type, I said "sure", and we began dating. That was Sept 2006, and we married in Jan 2008. She continued "seeing" her ex the entire time. Her and I were having really good sex 3 or 4 times a week, and I knew They were were having sex whenever they met up. That continued off-and-on for the first 9 years of our marriage, then suddenly, they were meeting up and having sex a lot more frequently. My wife asked me if I would be ok with them "officially" getting back together as girlfriend/boyfriend. After thinking about it for about a week, I gave my consent. What had started out as a polyamorous type relationship was slowly evolving into a Cuckold marriage. That was back in 2017, and they've been steadily dating ever since. Though I was never totally "denied" our sex life diminished and there was lots of teasing due to NRE (new relationship energy), and the natural progression of me becoming a cuckold. He was having more sex with my wife than I was, and I was ok with that. That went on for about 5 years. About a year ago, he moved out of state, though she continues to cuckold me with him whenever their schedules allow. Naturally, our sex life picked up, and we've been making love/having "sex" 4 or 5 times a week for the last year or so. I put sex in quotes because as her cuckold, I'm locked in chastity 3 or 4 days a week, and our "sex life" consists of LOTS of physical intimacy, but sexual intercourse is actually down to once or twice a week.

 

My mate's chronically ill. We haven't had sex in over four years.

 

We have been married 52 years. Sex was enjoyable but not real frequent in the early years. Since 15 years now sex is becoming a distant memory; it is non-existent for the past 5 years. She is fine with the situation; I get relief by masturbation, watching porn, reading erotic literature, sometimes cam-chatting, and a couple of times carried on a stretch of sexually exciting texting with delightful ladies.

 

We've been together for well over 40 years and have had a torrid sex life for most of it. Even menopause didn't slow us down. Up until my spouse got sick it was often that we had sex. At one point we were curious as to how much sex we were having so we marked a calendar every day we did it at least once. When we counted up the consecutive days it was over a hundred. Illness cause her to be celibate for the last 15 years or so but up until that point there were times I wasn't sure if I could keep up.

 

Sex now between my wife and I have become non existent. Her various health issues has caused her way too many factors in her ability to perform or be comfortable with it. My own self, I admit that time has too caught up with me and I'm not as good as I once was.

 

:-(

 

:-(

 

Us too! My wife and I enjoy going to nudist resorts and nude beaches when the opportunity is there. Very relaxing and a great way to keep the fire burning! We love taking nude walks.

 

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