Just sayin... almost all forums or message boards have that feature... If they've ever belonged to one, they will likely know. But really, I don't think more friendly language on the read this thread will attract more readers, if anything, more people will skip over it. How about "If you post and have obviously not read this, you will be perma-fucking-banned"?
OR....how about "if you got a fucking question check here first because I swear by all things good if you make a fucking thread asking a question that has already been answered in this thread Ahmad will break into your house and make your kitchen smell of old octopus dung and steal all your cups so that when you wake up in the morning and are feeling really thirsty you will run into your kitchen and open your cabinets only to find sweet dissapointment and a crusty booger FAQ."
Nevermind that last post. I think that's more along the lines of what we already have. And that would be like a bazillion houses I would have to break into. And carrying around ancient octopus poop, ewww, I dunno what I was thinking. Perhaps this would be fine.