falling into depression

never had a fuck god thing.

God to me is Love, light, consciousness and energy. I cannot deny or have anger towards any of those.

I used to come on here alot and pour my heart out...revealed way more than I should....but oh did it help

 

I apologize for that post, it was not helpful.

I had a conversation once with my daughter's school psychologist, who said something that implied that turning sadness or depression to anger was desirable. I had never considered that idea. Certainly anger is more empowering, in a sense, than sadness or depression. But then you have to learn to handle and come to terms with the anger - a different set of skills.

 

Children do turn sadness to anger because it makes you less vulnerable. It is a defense mechanism however, it can haunt ya if undealt with.

And your post was fine. It made me laugh....just in reading it, I thought " wow, I never felt that way."

 

Oh lordy, I've felt that way oodles of times.

I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, either...

I think it's important to be able to accept what we are. If I'm a pissed-off mother-f*cker, than that's the reality I need to accept, without judgment. It's only by accepting where we are at any given time that we then have the power to move on to something else.

Is that the actual truth, or did I just make that up? It sounds really good, anyway, doncha think?

 

Yes i think that's the truth. It's like saying 'take me as i am and we can go from there' becuase otherwise there's no acceptance and no going anywhere. Love (acceptance) comes first. Like Eckhart says ... Your outer purpose (stuff) is always secondary to your inner purpose (being).
A line in a christian poem i once read: "Lord, take me as i am for i can come no other way."

 

And then there's the Christian hymn:

"Just as I am, without one plea,
but that Thy blood was shed for me,
and that Thou biddest me come to Thee.
Oh Lamb of God, I come, I come."

That's pretty much the entire message of the Christian gospel, all summed up in that one little verse. Everything else is just project management. LOL

 

Power of Now or A New Earth?

 

Both. I didn't quote him exactly but he repeats it throughout both books.

And just considering it further ... accepting what is, ie. As you are, is accepting the now ... the only time that is real, the only time we have. And Eckhart also says that there's nothing you can do to get you closer to enlightenment than you are now.
Everyone wants love and acceptance yet most of the time don't realise the whole of it ... that doing it with yourself is to do it with others and visa versa. Not realising that love and acceptance doesn't cost anything ... it's free, NOW. If one always thinks they'll get it tomorrow if they do something to get it ... then they'll never get it because tomorrow never comes, and like Eckhart says, ... they'll miss the only entry point ... the only window, which is NOW.
If we can understand this, then humanity will at last be able to get along. To have ones inner longing healed and fulfilled, we won't need all the stuff we've been replacing it with. The only thing stopping people is thinking ... that they can't for one reason or another.

So the question and invitation; What do you really want? Do you want it now or never?

 

That's it. It's inside us now. It's always there.

I'm not there yet, but I glimpse it.

My spirit guide Deanna wrote to me a few days ago, "You haven't found the love within you." I replied to her, "Not totally true - I feel your love within me." But there's a deeper place, beyond my relationship with her, that I can glimpse, but not yet grasp.

 

I actually somewhat disagree with the now is everything mentality. I get what they're saying but there are some situations which require patience. You may only be able to deal with now but the manifestation process while immediate sometimes takes time to witness. I'm in a situation "now" that I'm not super thrilled about and I have movement that I'm sort of in but I have to wait for the fruition.

I feel a deep love inside of me and everybody else. Similar to what zengizmo was saying? But for me I can't feel it consistently because the energy field of those around me blocks it. And while I could just take off and pitch a tent in the middle of the woods and be able to live away from the static it's not practical "now" for my life or those sharing it. There's always a way "now" but sometimes waiting for then is more fun imo.

I do like the now concept though and like tolle's work.

 

No of course now is not everything, unless it's that big now, the eternal now, like when you die or merge with your higher self ... because that is a bit like everything, but in the normal sense, yes, there is a continuum of now,now,now,now,now,now ect infinitum. But i guess i am talking about that big now ... the one we think we can't have because it's too big for us and wouldn't fit into the ordinary now. But it isn't and it can.

Really i'm just talking about unconditional love ... the ability to love oneself and others right now whether a sinner or saint because it's simply the truth of what is ... total acceptance of the being and truth that just is.

^^ Hey, an ex girlfriend locked me outside naked once ... it was supposed to be funny but wasn't! ..well, it was for a while, a very short while

 

Maybe you should try not to focus on it. Try to think of other things, just kick these thought out of your mind.

 

very well put.

I have a hard time connecting with my higher self often because of the armor I have put around myself. Tis part of the game of self-discovery though. Oh what a mighty twisty game it is too

And as far as the concept of Now goes. When being in the moment, all expectations and control drama of what should be, what was, what will be dissolves into a world of unattachment. This removes suffering. I believe that is the point of it. However, sometimes I am so in the Now, I am emotional and want to kick people's asses LOL!:cheers2:

So it is a matter of where you are in the moment

 

What I hate most about attempting to experience the 'Now' and it's a blissfull state in now, since psychedelics enabled me to experience the eternal and only true reality, the God/bliss loving now and it is indeed heavenly.

What I detest is how my ego has created this attachment to experiencing the Now, a subtle spiritual ego if you will. My mind still feels like there is this stepping stone to get there, to experience the moment and love in it. And I'll flash in and out of my past/future self and the present over and over again and it drives me insane.

Inevitably I know we all come to discover how much time we wasted in our youth not experiencing, rather than analyzing, the conditions of life. My analytical mind has owned me for most of my childhood, and I know through enough meditation/tai chi/focus, one of these days I will wake up, and without thinking once or twice, be there now.

Because as I discovered on LSD, that's ironically the answer. That there is no answer. It just is. And it's just now.

 

Thats my curse as well, I always think and think too much.

 

I'm fairly certain that it's not just our individual minds that keep us from experiencing that perfection. For me a lot of it has to do with the collective field. I have a very difficult time cutting through it a lot of the time to reach the higher planes. Lately the only fairly reliable way of me getting to the higher planes is altering myself with drugs. It wasn't always like that but there's a lot going on in the collective mind that's not very peaceful.

 

Oh God yes!

And a fascinating, intriguing game. Why else would God divide itself into so many countless pieces all pretending they don't know who they are or where they came from?

I have a special pair of ass-kicking boots that I put on just for those special occasions. LOL

But yes - that feeling of unattachment, of blissful realization that everything is perfect just as it is - even the drama, even the process, the becoming.

As Zen master Shunryu Suzuki said, "Everything is perfect, but there is a lot of room for improvement."

LOL

 

There is definately a group consciousness that is freaking out right now. But going deep enough within and finding the secret heart within your heart seems to be finding God(or whatever you wanna call it, I don't really wanna argue about whatever people call the Is) and when there, I seem to attract more of the people into my life that are also along the heart path. Which just continues to go on and on and on.....and then I have the faith and knowing that humanity is indeed waking up to higher spiritual principals then just dogma.
However, it is really difficult with so much of the news about jobs being lost, the world economy collapsing, crimes increasing, and general fear tactics. You have people thinking Obama is the second coming of Christ, you have people thinking he is the anti-christ. You have just about every challenge in your face to keep you from peace, the peace of knowing that it will all be ok. This breaking down of the current system, though exciting because it needs to happen, is so scary for those who fear change.
So trying to seperate yourself from the fear yet while continuing on your path of higher consciousness seems to becoming contuinally more difficult for some. Others, the lightworkers and such, are so excited that they are dancing within their skins. It seems to be a matter of choicing how you want to feel.

This is all just observation and random ramblling, I don't really know anything because I am riding on this see-saw. I have such strong waves in both directions that its hard to live with myself as I try to balance right now.

Suppose with all that coffee induced rambling I was trying to say that collectively there is a lot going on.....but on each polarity.....and then there is the middle way, the way that is observer and consciously chooses what to put their energy into

Some good old pot always does me good though

 

Yes, this is absolutely a difficult time to stay focused on the light - but an ideal time to go deeper, if we use the situation that way.

I'm like you, Mariecstasy - on the seesaw.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvePSpsGoJ0&eurl=http://sunchildren.ning.com/profile/mariecstasy

I love synchronicity.
I posted my above a couple hours ago and then got home and checked another forum I went to. Someone left me a video.....synchronicities will never lose their tastiness for me

Let me know what you think of this video.