everyone is getting engaged, married or is pregnant

my mom was my age.. my dad was 28 though.

 

Penny, everyone goes through this. Feelings are not liable to control. :cheers2:

But hey- insane is cool too.

 

everyone else seems to not think as much as I do and seems so much more simple.. haha

 

Ain't no way in hell you think as much as me.

 

i would like to get married someday. but of course the first step is finding someone i want to marry, and someone who wants to marry me.

i dont feel like hurrying it THAT much, but i do notice a lot of people around me settling down and getting to the family thing.

i could really go for that, i think. but i dont feel too bad or left out or anything. i mean, i'm only 23.

 

My mom got married when she was 19, with her first and only boyfriend ever. My parents were married for 20 years, after they got divorced she gave up dating, romance.

I always told her she was crazy, for doing both things, but I guess now I see it differently.

 

There's nothing to be feeling bad about.
You're very young. They are getting old too fast...
You are free to live your life and enjoy it and be free... you should be happy about that.
I'm doing neither of those things either, and I don't feel bad at all about it.

 

Mine too. My dad also.

 

Penny-

It's really easy to compare yourself with others. And if doing that makes you feel bad about yourself, then compare yourself with others where you end up feeling GOOD about yourself instead. It's good to stop comparing altogether, but not everyone can do that.

Look around. It's easy to find people who are getting divorced all over the place because they rushed in to the wrong relationship. Or are stuck in an unhappy marriage. Or now don't have hardly any freetime because having children is such a huge responsibility.

The only way you can feel better is to change your thoughts and perspective about it. I suggest making a list of everything you have that you're grateful for, all the opportunities that you have now, all the benefits of being young and unmarried, without children. New Year's is a good time to set a positive tone for the upcoming year.

 

First off, *hug*

secondly, don't feel bad about yourself, a lot of people don't settle down until their 30's.
Just because people around you are doing it, doesn't make it right for you. I know you feel like it now, but do you really want to be married right now?
I mean, even if you were with the right guy, would you want to get married yet? There's a reason the divorce rate is higher among younger people than older.

I know I shouldn't be speaking, since I have a kid...but I felt the same(although kind of opposite) because no one else I hung out with had kids or was even thinking about it, but it happened anyway, you know.
The funny thing is, almost right after I had Amber, a lot of people I knew who were giving me a hard time about it got knocked up.

 

marriage: you can legally pull the plug.

 

I wish I was getting married

 

Me too.
(to a tall Scandinavian blonde )

 

Good choice my friend :cheers2:

 

I felt like this but not with the same things. I mean I felt like a loser for my singleness, but y'know, I prefer it. I like it. Heck, I really like it and I don't want to change. If you want to get married do it, if you wanna get pregnant, just do it. If you don't, don't worry about it, there's no point and babies are a helluva lot of work. xD

 

That is so true. It's easy to see babies through rose colored glasses, how they'll be cooing at you in adoration. But the reality is that it's a lot of responsibility and hard work.. AND SACRIFICE. Especially when you don't have alot of help from family. There are wonderful times with kids and a lot of blessings, but it's a huge personal strain as well. And some kids are a lot more challenging than others... and when you're having them it's like what Forest Gump said about a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get. lol!

 

^indeed. Though, I think I either over estimated how hard it would be, or else I just handle it better than I thought. It's a lot of work and all but, I'm a lot less...something than I had planned for. its hard to explain.

Anyway, to continue what I said before, I also don't plan to get married, unlike most of my friends who think I'm stupid for it. Brad and I can lead normal lives without a bullshit wedding and a piece of paper.
Getting married and having kids isn't everything... don't do it just because everyone else is.

 

for the longest time i felt like the oldest 24 year old i knew, i was the first one in my 'group' that had a kid went out on th road learn life skills ect. i now like 3 or 4 flks i grew up with have kids and are figureing their life out, crazy shit

 

Growing up, growing ... this is to get known your own path and what this really means.

Marriage is a social standard. Living what is yours is so much more. How can you ever be behind then ?

And true connections will encourage you to grow on (even as you may encourage them) and not lock you out for it; and even as the old settles down, something new will show up and inspire you.

You won't loose that which is truly yours. It may be just different from what each other around you is doing, and this is as good as can be.

Wishing you well

 

It's pretty dumb to compare yourself like that, and feel behind because of it. Some of my friends have been doing that for awhile now. You are 24..
I'm getting to the point I really want those things myself.