Everyone I know is pregnant

LMAO..

 

they say that having a baby is like shitting a pumpkin, which TAZER-69 will soon discover as he enters...

THE TWILIGHT ZONE

 

That won't be so bad...I have shit a pumkin before.

 

i will do that... in my dead state

good call :mickey:

 

I agree completely. There is a good chance I won't be able to carry a baby the full 9 mos so when I see people just having kids cuz their organs allow them to, it drives me insane!

And people shouldn't just have kids to have them. They should know what they're getting into and plan it and know its right for them. Instead of just assuming its exactly what they want when they are already pregnant and just go with it.

All of these kids I graduated with have kids. The sad thing is, most kids don't know their father/mother or most of them have to deal with the hostility between their parents. It makes me absolutely sick inside. All of these children are going to grow up to be crack dealers!

And TIB:
You have to hire some B-list celebrity to your funeral to just make an appearance. Way better than a eulogy...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xnqf0xciQM"]dying nick swardson - YouTube

 

I was so huge when I was preggers.. Luckily I didn't stay that way long...so awkward

 

Id like 14 children, cause I have 14 firearms..

 

Doesnt really make a difference. Adolf Hitler had well meaning supportive parents.

Kids need to learn a certain amount of independance growing up at certain stages. This doesnt happen if they are overmothered / overfathered, they turn into spoilt brats that dont know how to fend for themselves.

What gives you a buzz about being a parent, what you think is the right thing to do, what everybody tells you is the right thing to do, what makes you feel good - has nothing to do with whats best for them in the long run.

You want to have a son that grows up, popular with the ladies, the type of guy every other guy listens too, then

A) You need to breed with the tallest guy you can get your hands on
B) You need to give him a few sisters so he has half a clue about the chics
C) Then ditch the hubby when he's 12, so he gets some independance, grows some nads and fills in as the parent for the younger kids and thus learns about that early

None of which has much to do with your parenting skills, and is pretty much the exact opposite of what everyone else will tell you is the right thing to do.


What I've always found most curious is that most people spend their teens and early twenty running around scratching their heads about the opposite sex. But because they have the magic ability to get drunk and horny and not bother with protection, suddenly 10 years later they are an expert cos they have a kid of the opposite sex. Or the same sex for that matter, just cos you are a chic doesnt mean you know everything chics get up to, doesnt mean your daughter is going to turn out like you.

 

get charlie sheen, if he's still alive by the time you die

 

what a coincidence

every girl I meet I want to make pregnant

 

I wish more people of all ages would consider adoption. Their are millions of children who don't know it, but i know they would love to have a home.

 

it sort of has to be pauly shore - as stoney

"the truth is bro, life's about greasing the 'do back, buddy, and wheezin' on the buff-fest, man. high school was interesting, alright????"

 

bbad is secretly the guy that made all the chicks in lovelyxmalia's neighborhood pregnant

 

im not pregnant

 

I wish I had a watermelon. I wish I had a watermelon. i wish I had a watermelon...

I drove my woman crazy with that when she was pregnated, and I rubbed her belly.

 

OVERBREEDING HAS GOT TO STOP!!! people are not having a child anymore- women have turn into LITERAL bitches with litters, you know? And then they don't raise the children!! The children grow up feral...It never ceases to make my jaw drop with agony. Instead of Duck crossing signs, we should have, Awww Shit, here comes the Bitch and her Litter crossing signs.
NOW, to CLARIFY, if a woman (or couple who have a healthy relationship) has ton of children WHO THEY CAN AFFORD AND have the mental&emotional capacity to care and provide for a child, fine- how often do you see that? Oh yes, it happens, but NOT often. And as mentioned above- I am tired of the fact that nobody cares to adopt children out to healthy couples who cant conceive, and gay couples who are desperate for a child?

 

well, when a man and a woman love each other very much, sometimes the man puts his penis into the woman's vagina... didn't you have sex ed or something?

 

I'm going to have a lot of kids so they all raise each other.

Treat ém well though so they take care of me. I'm planning on going senile any day now.

By the way, If anyone wants to get pregnant, I have sperm. Dozens of ém!

 

I know that rare bunch of people who deserve their children and their children are not hellion kind. It's wonderful. I'm thankful to have these people in my life and around my son. I love him very much. I work hard to keep him healthy and happy and fun and so does his dad. But as a parent you have to work on yourself and not just your child. So if you "breed" be sure not to forget you are the example of their upbringing. There are things you may have to change or sacrifice to raise a really healthy person. I know what it takes. Hard work. Love. Change. Understanding. Community. Not everyone is a bad parent not every child is a bad kid. The systems in which children are brought in to grow are no set up for their success. If you cared to change it you would no only stop telling people not to breed and to adopt etc but you would step in as well and be a stand up part of a community and help where help needs to be given. Children need more then patents and teachers to be raised healthy. They. Need to be treated right by everyone. By being assholes you help nothing. There are ways you can help even if you don't "breed"

 

First of all, about the overpopulation whining...

No. In sub-saharan africa, yes, there's a population crisis. In the middle east, there's an islamic population crisis. There's lots of problems like this. But the US, in fact the whole western world, is NOT a part of this.

The US only has a STABLE population because of mexican immigration. And they have lots of babies, but slow down and assimilate into normal americans after a few generations-too lazy for a fuck.

Yes, OP, people like that are fucking horrible parents. If you find yourself around them, show them how it's done, and make no secret that you know they're horrible people.

People in the US are becoming more okay with having kids, since the whole suburban end of younger people having kids, but they're not being cautious, it's mostly lower class (not money wise, but culture wise) people who actually believe the right wing bullshit, that the left wing will pay them to have kids, or something. I know some of them. And even once they have one or two that they neglect, they somehow think there will be more magical money if they have another. Like, WHERE will it come from, WHY don't you have any of it now? Oh that's right, because welfare as the tea party sees it is a fucking urban legend, you won't get paid to sit on your lazy ass and smoke in the same house as your kid while they're sticking their fingers in electrical sockets.

I guess it's hard to know how to have kids after half a century of this country hardly having kids. But still....

/multiple rants.