Eating Disorder

thank you..

 

gosh tahts how i am!! i feel like, oh no!! im gonna get fat!! i cant eat for a week!! a week will make up for my mistake!!

 

my mom was bulimic and my sister has the same thoughts me and my mom do but hasn't gone to the extreams as we have.. I do think it runs in the family alot of times.. alot of girls I've talked to have had the same experiance.. plus my father will put fat people down.. or make comments about fatter people around us.. I think as a young girl hearing my dad talk like that and my mom obsessing over her weight all the time contributed to my problem.....

and yeah I've actually lost alot of "fat" in the places I've been trying to lose alot easier now that I'm eating alittle better and working out alot more..
and I look sooo much better.. I look at pictures of when I was pretty low and I was so pale, and frail looking.. my collar bones stuck out sooo much it made me sad that I did that to myself to feel whole at the time.. I'm sooo happy I have my husbands support, without him telling me that he'd admitt me if I didn't do something about this.. made me actually take a look at myself.. I'm scared that if he hadn't "woke me up" I would of turned out like some of the girls on those sites.. I was soooo sick.. I did things I am sooo embarrassed about to be thin.. it scares me now.. I was on a mission.. and I was sooo destructive.. I didn't care that it was harming me.. I'm just so happy I feel more like ME again.. I really didn't like who I was becoming..

 

Thanks for sharing that greengoddess...
Boyfriends/husbands can be such a great help that way. The thing that has kept me better, for the most part anyway, I think is my fiancee. He's very supportive, but at the same time he's not afraid to speak up and admit me if I lose control again too. My boyfriend met me at a time when I was starving myself for close to ten days at a time, and I almost think it was better that I met him then, because he knew what to expect, and that things might be a little difficult for a while, and here and there.

I've dated guys in the past when I was sick, and none of them were as understanding as my hunny is now. I had one boyfriend who just threatened to break up with me and screamed at me for it.... it made me just want to hide it from him more than anything.

My fiancee now, tried the threat thing, and learned from it.... I relapsed about a year ago, and was doing dangerous things again [diet pills and the like] and hid it from him because I didn't want him to break up with me either. Well, I can't lie, I just can't so I ended up telling him the truth, and he felt bad for threatening me with such a thing, and realized I just needed him there. He hasn't ever said anything so harsh regarding the issue since then, and I really appreciate his understanding and how quickly he learns. I'm glad, in a way, because I almost feel like I'm teaching someone the dynamics of an eating disorder....and that sounds odd, but I think it's important that people know about them, and the hell it entails.



And, this is sort of off topic of my whole speech there, but I was thinking that I want to take some classes in college on speech or something, because I think in the future, when I feel that I'm as recovered as I'll be.... I want to speak out in public to kids and parents about eating disorders. It's kind of my dream.

 

ok so my family.... my mom`s been anorexic since college, not as much now as a coupleof years back, but i can still tell when she`s struggling. my dad`s not exactly eating disordered, but runs distance almost compulsively...he`ll just drop whatever he`s doing and run 10 miles. his weight fluctuates a lot, and he`s got an incredibly negative attitude towards obesity or even chubby-ness. my little sister`s a bit heavy, and he gives her crap about it all the time. and back a generation...my mom`s mom has been a lovely combination of starvation/extreme/radical diets and compulsive overeating for as long as anyone can remember. all she talks about is her weight, and it`s been that way for years. so yeah...that`s my lovely family, i`m just lucky that none of my sibs have picked up on my and my mom`s disordered eating patterns....

 

And, this is sort of off topic of my whole speech there, but I was thinking that I want to take some classes in college on speech or something, because I think in the future, when I feel that I'm as recovered as I'll be.... I want to speak out in public to kids and parents about eating disorders. It's kind of my dream. [/QUOTE]


I think that is awsome.. I was thinking about doing the same thing.. you should totally look into that.. I can tell from your posts that you'd be great!
HUGS!!

 

yea, giving speeches sounds awesome. they really dont have to many speakers talk about eating disorders, yet atleased. i tihnk if i would have known what an eating disorder even WAS when i started my bad tendancies, i would have been more aware to the signs of self destruction.

my family also has distorted eating- almost everyones overweight yet talks about 'how they make healthy choices' and it drives me crazy, cause its starting to make me resent overweight people in a way. its just like, dont tell me how 'healthy' you are but you wont go jogging with me cause your covered in the after effect of brownies and shit like that. i hate that i think that way but in all honesty, its true. :/ they all comfort eat, and me and my sister have kind of gone away from that, to a dangerous point of just not eating.

 

Terri Shiavo was in her stae because of potassium deficiency from bulimia
I'm not going to get into anything else but I think the above statement is pretty impactful.

 

I don't want to sound rude, but I really hate comments like these.

I understand you were probably just implying how dangerous eating disorders are, but you know... it's not like we all don't know that. It's called a disorder for a reason...because it is a disease. It's not called "Eating Choice" for a reason.

Many of us developed eating disorders without even understanding or realizing what the hell was going on... that's how mine started. I was only 11.

When I realized I wasn't eating, I understood right then and there all the risks and dangers about it, but I couldn't just start eating because I was sick. I actually developed a PHOBIA of food.

Just telling someone "You can die..." isn't going to make them any better. Trust me, me, and everyone here, and anyone else who has or has had an eating disorder, most likely FULLY understand that.

And this is why I want to speak in public...because it's like... some people think that it's just so easy to get someone to eat, who has this disorder. People just don't understand it.

And my apologies if you take any offense to that, it's not intended that way. And also, my apologies if you meant that in a whole different manner.

 

Yeah well, I think for some people learning about it, could be a good start to prevention---however, it's still not everything.

My most important issue is that I want others, who don't deal with an ED to at least be somewhat aware, and understanding of the disease. And parents especially.

What scares me most is that a lot of eating disorders go unnoticed until someone gets far too thin and sick. And one thing I really want the world to know, is that anyone can develop an eating disorder at any time...and what signs to watch for.

I also really want to stress the importance of finding treatment, and not trying to self-treat like some parents, friends, and other family try to do. My fiancee's cousin has an eating disorder, and her mom continuously tries to "fatten her up"--- which is the complete opposite way in going about reaching out to someone with an E.D. She is, finally in treatment now, and hopefully her mom is learning a little too... But, this is the sort of thing I want people to understand before hand, so that they can reach out sooner, and smarter.

I really think the sooner that a person gets treatment, the easier and more sucessful the recovery will be.

I didn't get treatment until about 5 or 6 years into my disorder, and I still have a long road ahead of me now.

My therapist at one point told me it could take anywhere frm 3-10 years to recover from something so "etched" into my brain.

I think my parents didn't get me treatment til later because there were times where I would eat okay.... but then I always relapsed more severe each time. And yeah, that's what I want to teach parents and kids about... Things like this just don't go away. You need treatment, and professional treatment for it.

 

being in and out of the hospital and people telling me I could die because I was so dehydrated pretty much snapped me out of it...
It is a choice. It's just a hard choice, just like combating any other addiction. It's called ht e'good girls addiction' for a reason. It doesn't have the same stigma attached as somone who is addicted to drugs but it is just as bad as a hard drug addiction or even worse. People codle you and thus feed the behavior, everyone is telling you to eat or watdching you after meals, it's a lot of attention. You are the center of your families universe. No matter how much we deny we liked the attention it is still attention and any type of attention will feed a negative behavior.
but I was no better than a heroin addict and neither is anyone else who is combating this, it is just as dangerous just as nasty and is downright selfish to perpetuate it and let people worry about us like this. It's a very selfish disease that is unfortunatley glamouriized among younger women and teenage girls.

 

Ok, nevermind I'm not sorry then.

Did you stop to think that maybe every person is different?

Maybe that's how it is for you...

If it's about attention how come I, and probably many other girls, HID the disorder as much as they possibly could? I wouldn't talk about it, I wouldn't act like it was a problem, I tried to wear clothes to make me look bigger and everything. I talked like I loved food and that eating was like a favorite pasttime of mine because I didn't want anyone to think anything was up or worry.

I didn't LIKE talking about it to my parents when they did realize something was wrong, because I didn't WANT them to worry and be upset. I HATED them watching my every move, it made me angry.

When a phobia is involved like it was, and still sort of is with me, then it's not much of a fucking choice. It's a chore for me to eat, because I developed a phobia of ingesting things...for many different reasons. Not because I want to lose weight, not because I want attention...

That's all fucking bullshit.

and maybe for some people it is about attention and what not, but that's not how it is for everyone, and you need to understand that.

There are biological reasons behind eating disorders aside from just plain, deciding not to eat, a biological reason that relates to a chemical imbalance. It's just like having any other mental disorder. PHYSICAL changes can happen in your brain to create disorders like these.... it isn't just a "selfish decision"

And if you could just snap out of it so easily maybe you never really had a problem. All I know is I have been STRUGGLING my ASS off to stay recovered for over a year now, and it's not something where I can just say "I need to eat" and so I do. It is much more fucking complex than that. And whenever I've relapsed I've felt awful and upset and just wanted it to go away... I didn't even know where it would come from or how it started, it hits me like a ton of bricks.

Whatever, I'm done explaining myself. I fucking hate having to explain myself. And I fucking hate it when people say the things you just did.

I'm done.

EDIT TO SAY: I know what fucking addictions are like. And my eating disorder never even struck me as SIMILAR to an addiction.

 

And one more thing, not in the defense of myself...

The things you said are pretty offensive and upsetting to people who are actually dealing with a disorder right now.

I didn't want to get my undies in a bundle but this is a VERY touchy subject with me, and when someone insists they know what the disorder is like for everyone and act like some bigger person because you "made the choice" to not have an eating disorder... well then that gets to me.

This thread was going just fine the way it was, you could have just left it alone for girls to help each other out.

 

it is classified in the DSM as an addiction, not a type one mental illness. There are genetic facotors, but those are actually the same genetic factors that are present when one has a tendency towards addiction. the same receptors are overly active in the brain when an anorexic is fasting or somone is throwing-up who is addicted to it. For some it's a sense of control they are addicted to, others a release ect, but from a psychological prospective it is an addiction. Any psychologist would tell you the same thing.
I worked in a group home that had an ED floor for teens for almost a year and because of my job I know the DSM like I know the back of my hand. So it's not just how it is for me but rather how it is to the APA. If you honestly want to be a health educator on this subject you should have a basic grasp of psychology and addiction first. To be an ED counselor most places actually require a cadac certificate, which is for alchohol and drug abuse recovery. So a good foundation and understanding of addiction needs to be embraced, especially in the world of psychology people stand by the dsm and the apa and it makes you look very incompetent to go against them unless you have a phd and are an experienced theorist and are ready to do case studies on your own theories of ED causes to prove them wrong.
This is also something I battled off and on since I was 10 and have now been free of it since february and haven't relapsed one time and I hid it really well for the past 6 years besides february I hadn't been in the hospital for it since I was 16. and yeah i was no better than a heroin addict, I put my family, ex fiance through the same greif as if I were addicted to hard drugs. True recovery is realizing that your addiction and controlable disease is not any better than anyone elses. disorder arrogance is very common among those with eating disorders. I used to buy into it-that I was better than 'those other people with gross addictions'

 

what I am saying is true. If you girls 'want to help each other out' you will hold each other accountable for your actions and be supportive and attention giving when one is showing progress as oppossed to condoning the behavior. A lot of people in this thread have glamourized it and there is nothing really cool about freaking your parents out by not eating or sitting on the bathroom floor with your finger down your throat and passing out all the time-nothing at all. If you really cared about each other you would empower each other and be truthful. the disorder is uusually caused by a lack of power so why don't you give each other some real and honest accountability if you honestly care about each other.

 

I'm 5'1 109 and want to be 93

i dont eat

 

Well, this isn't a place to come and encourage each other like that...

 

I'M saying that I don't disagree that that may be true for some or a lot of cases, but it isn't the same in everyone, and psychologists/psychiatrists STILL don't know enough about eating disorders to classify them as anything, nor do they have any real tried and true method to treat a person.

I've also always had an issue, and still do, with not comprehending what enough-to-eat is. Which is maybe the biggest factor in my issue with this. Even at my best, I have to ask people around me if I ate normally, because I honestly *don't know*

It's like... my mind plays tricks on me. Everyone will tell me that I ate no where near enough, when I HONESTLY feel like I ate tons of food and binged. I try to take other peoples' word for it and eat a little more if they say I didn't eat enough, because I know I can't trust myself on what's a lot, and what isn't.

This is another case, where I really don't feel it can be classified as something like an addiction, because it's not even about being dependent on the disorder, but rather it's more or less like being delusional.

Listen, I am sorry I blew up on you, but I just think you're being a little unfair. Even PROFESSIONALS don't know enough about the disorder yet to say this or that is set in stone and define a lot of things, so I don't think it's fair for you to do that either.

And WITH today's media and what not, there ARE too many differences amongst the different causes/reasons that people develop eating disorders. A lot of young girls now days are influenced by the media, quite possibly, whereas some aren't so much and have other underlying disorders that cause the problem [OCD, BDD, as mentioned before]

It's way too broad of a topic, and far too new in the world of psychology to be so certain of yourself and what you've learned.

And, more so, even IFFFFF it resembles an addiction, that doesn't make it any less of a problem or a reason to be recognized and helped.

I would just as much codle a heroin addict as I would someone with anorexia. I feel just as sympathetic. And I don't think there is anything wrong with it either.

I personally hated the attention my parents and friends gave to me during my worst points of my disorder, but I think it helped me want to recover. I hated seeing them upset, and the only reason I agreed to go to therapy and actually cooperate while in therapy was because I didn't like what I was doing and I didn't like seeing them so torn apart; the problem is I hadn't even realized what I was doing to see that it would effect anyone like that, for a long time.

Not everyone who has an issue, craves attention.

 

Nobody glamourized it... if you can't feel the upset-tone in each girls' post on here....then I wouldn't think you're very intuitive.

But, whatever. I'm done dealing with you now.

Let's turn the thread around again please.

 

I am a professional in the psychiatric community actually...I manage social services programs at 14 facilities and next month am moving to an area director position for two counties and this is what I studied in school...psychology isn't a 'feeling' of what the general community thinks a disorder is, it's a science, like any other science it's proven theories.

Anywho, I wish all of you luck and admire you for wanting to help others.
Here's a great synopsis that breaks down the addiction connection:
konwing the true causes can only help you better serve others. You can't help other people with their addictions until you understand the roots and neurosciences behind the addiction, that's all I was saying.

Clinical and Biological Traits



It is generally agreed that the commencement of addictive behaviors can take two motivational routes: either the seeking of positive sensations or the self-medicating of painful affective states. While current research documents a substantial lifetime comorbidity between the eating disorders and other forms of addiction, there is less agreement on the reasons for this link (Holderness et al., 1994; Wiederman and Pryor, 1996). Some researchers have suggested that a common set of personality traits predispose an individual to a range of behaviors that have the potential to become excessive (Koob and Le Moal, 1997; Leshner, 1997). Support for this idea comes from evidence that anxiety and depression are frequent premorbid characteristics both of addicts (Grant and Harford, 1995; Kessler et al., 1997) and of patients with eating disorders (Deep et al., 1995; Vitousek and Manke, 1994). Our own research has also found that among eating-disordered patients, irrespective of diagnostic category, scores on a measure of addictive personality characteristics were comparable to those reported for drug addicts and alcoholics (Davis and Claridge, 1998). Complementary to this viewpoint, an addiction to one behavior reinforces a certain style of coping pattern that leaves the individual vulnerable to developing another type of addiction (Holderness et al., 1994).