Distinguishing between imagination and Lady S

you learn more from salvia over time, over multiple uses. for most people i've known, the first few times are just a mindfuck, but after a while the shock subsides a bit and you're more able to pay attention.

that sounds crazy though. i know the feeling of coming back, and looking down at yourself and thinking "what the fuck is this?"

 

yesterday i was walking down the road and i looked over and saw a string of leaves hanging off a tree and swinging in the wind, and i thought, "that moment is so important to those leaves, and i had no conscious role in making it happen... but there it is"... i don't know, what you said made me think of that .

you would LOVE girdwood. it's this tiny, tiny little hippie town out here in alaska. i've heard it's like just a big family. they throw a festival in the park and in the woods every year, and it's completely amazing. their playground has a tower with a peace sign window. the drive there from the city is the most amazing view of hills and mountains and water that i have ever seen anywhere. but it's in the opposite direction of where you're headed . if you ever get the chance though, check it out.

i have a different way of seeing the concrete jungle . to me it's like... how bugs make little societies out of intricate tunnels in the dirt, and you're like, "how the hell did they accomplish all of that? how did they make it all work?" and then you watch them running back and forth with their little leaves, pushing tiny pebbles around, running into eachother, and everything. our society is like that x100,000 in little intricacies. whenever i go visit my friends who live in the city, they're confused by how amazed i am by everything. the same way someone from the city is amazed by nature. if you could spend an hour looking at a tree, for example, i could spend an hour looking at people buying bath mats in wal*mart.

that sounds lame, but, oh well. i'm gonna read yer journal now.

 

Girdwood eh? Sounds pretty awesome, and I've always wanted to visit Alaska at some point... Maybe not this summer, but some other time I'll check it out!! I just hope it isn't too cold. I can handle a little cold (since I'm from Oregon), but I'm also a bit lacking in the bodyfat department, so I have to wear a ton of clothes to stay warm. There's nothing quite as beautiful as a forest covered in snow though...

It's true that life in the city has many intricacies and is very complex as well, but I often prefer the simple to the complex. When things get too complex they have a tendency to get stressful and while I'm able to handle stress very well, I'd rather not put myself in that position in the first place. And yes, I can look at a tree for over an hour and not get bored with it .

 

From what I've experienced with salvia over the past few days, it feels like more of a rewiring of the brain and a totally different thought pattern more than anything. It seems like what I see around me is the same, but it has a completely new set of meanings and uses. I cannot even begin to describe what the closed-eye experience is. Some things seem just silly, like recalling a vivid dream that seemed so real, but now is just absurd. Other times, I feel as if I am experiencing the ultamite truth, and that I can only truly see when I do salvia. I in no way claim to be a professional or very experienced in any way, but I'm starting to know what the experience feels like. I prefer to call it an experience rather than a trip, because sometimes it feels like the same setting, different mind.