Depersonalization.

he wasnt a close friend, and it happened before i became very interested in all this, so i can only report the net case and not the gross cases

 

That's cool, thanks anyway. Just one question if you know, did he feel really fucked up when he wasn't smoking weed as well?

 

I ahte to say it, but this happend to me and noone would understand, it's goten so bad it all most feels liek I'm high 24/7. But, not a good high, liek I'm walking around in a daze. I took a 6 month break and it didn't get any better so I guess I'm stuck with it.

I'm so glad you posted this, I thought I was just werid, I have every symptom, it's really kinda of scary.

I allways use to have I thought this was all a big dream. Then, I pretty much stopped takign life seroiuly after that. Everythign is just a big joke to me.


Also, I allways thoguth I coudl kill myself and not even hesitate or think twice about it, but now it scares me that It's connected. Then again soem part of my mind is tellign me this is all made up 24/7.

Do I need help?

 

yah go see a psychiatrist, if you stopped weed and its still there it might stay if you dont do anything

 

he said it would happen when he smoked weed, but then it started to drag on into his sober time. so then it sarted being more of a thing about it being there normally but weed bringing it out sorta full swing, thats around when he stopped.
he lives a fine life but doesnt smoke (at least much, i havnt seen him in a while)

 

Just curious, what exactly will that do?

You know, one of the things I regret is that I've been feeling in this direction for a while, but I just kind of ignored it and kept on smoking. I really think that I needed a break a long time ago, but I kept putting it off because I wasn't too concerned about it back then. There's a big part of me that thinks that if I could have taken a break, or moderated it better, back when I first started feeling numbed from the highs and out of it like I was, that this problem never would have even come around.

Does that make sense? I felt the need for a break a while back but just ignored it since I knew I used it for sleeping and figured I may as well smoke a fair amount anyway, and over time it just built up more and more until it was like overkill. But if I had been honest with myself, I would have stopped using it to put myself to sleep, and taken more breaks and smoked less. It seems to make sense that an attitude like that would have kept me from slipping like this.

I have been so good about keeping my other priorities straight, like doing good in school(I'm on the dean's list and had almost straight A's last semester), I had a good job that I was repsonsible about, etc. So i figured as long as I was getting done what I needed to, that I could just get high whenever I got a free chance. Even if I didn't really feel that much like smoking. Bad idea, huh?

The other thing I'm concerned with is just my mind playing tricks on me. I have a good imagination and sometimes I can psyche myself out. Part of me worries that I won't be able to enjoy weed anymore because I will have the fear of getting depersonalized, and then feel like I am because I'm concentrating on it, when in fact maybe I'm just letting my mind play tricks on me and that can be scary in an altered state. It may be that I don't have anything wrong with me and I'm just focusing too much on something negative.

I really hope I will be able to pick up smoking again eventually, and I've analyzed my habits with it and I have set some new guidelines for myself that will keep it in moderation. I feel way more down to earth after these 4 days of being smoke free, would you say that's a good sign? I mean within a day or two of not smoking and getting a good healthy sleep I feel much better. But if I smoke again and it reinforces those bad feelings I was having, I will probably have to quit for good, which would suck but would be a lot better than feeling like I was.

 

"The other thing I'm concerned with is just my mind playing tricks on me. I have a good imagination and sometimes I can psyche myself out. Part of me worries that I won't be able to enjoy weed anymore because I will have the fear of getting depersonalized, and then feel like I am because I'm concentrating on it, when in fact maybe I'm just letting my mind play tricks on me and that can be scary in an altered state. It may be that I don't have anything wrong with me and I'm just focusing too much on something negative."

I think this ^^ is a big part of it.

Still, go strong with the break. And, as we talked about earlier, keep yourself in line with your new 'rules'. I also suggest smoking with friends for the first time back after break. You know, Spic and Span...

SML

 

regret doesnt acheive.

vitimin B's acheive! a B vitamin refers to various chemicals, depending on the number. theyre involved in enzyme reactions, so they aid energy production, digestion, and most importantly, and relevantly, they aid the systems which maintain neural health. theyre the brain's vitimins. theyre usually marketted as boosters of mental energy, and resistance to stress. this is because they help the brain resist environmental degredation of various systems in the brain. each vitimin B does different things, so you get a complex mix of them.

high doses of vitimin B have helped cases of mental disease, such as schizophrenia and bipolar, maintain stability of the brain enough for clinically debilitated people to restore somewhat normal lives. when given to non diseased people, it just makes you healthier! and i think you can feel the difference.

some vitimins should be obtained from food, but we as modern humans and druggies put our brains under a lot more stress than was naturally intended

 

I'll definitely pick some up today.

So it will be a good thing for me to take when I'm not smoking, what about when I am? I imagine that it wouldn't hurt anything, if anything would probably improve my health still, I just want to make sure it's not an overkill or it has bad cross-connections or whatnot.

 

you cant overkill these vitimins really, they seem to have an affinity for fluid excretion and if you have excess, you just piss and sweat it out.

take them every day, its just a general health thing to ensure that the conditions are optimum for recovery.

omega's are important in strengthening the neurons themselves.